Pain
by catgurl83
Summary: After Leo's death, Zoey finally confronts her feelings about the kidnapping. Sam\Zoey
1. Chapter 1

Title: Pain (1?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: This chapter is G but later chapters will go up to R.

Spoilers: Everything through season seven is fair game with emphasis on the kidnapping and Leo's death.

Summary: Three years after the kidnapping, Zoey is stilltrying todeal with it.

Pairings: Sam / Zoey

Author's notes: Much appreciation to Anakam and Abigail for beta reading this for me.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Sam gently replaced the phone in its' cradle. He turned to switch off the television and the CNN election coverage that filled the screen. That coverage would soon be changing to something that he didn't want to watch, to speculation that he wasn't up to hearing.

He crossed the room and reached out to remove a picture from the wall. They'd all been so young in this picture, taken the night of President Bartlett's first election. Leo with that huge grin they'd all come to love, Toby, shock at the win evident on his face, CJ laughing, Josh grinning broadly, and he himself standing in the middle of the group, a stunned, delighted smile on his face. He'd believed in Jed Bartlett but he hadn't expected to win. The only one who'd truly expected to win that night was Leo.

Sam hung the picture back up absently as he replayed the phone call he'd just had. It had been Donna on the other end of the phone, not at all surprising. He'd expected to hear from Donna or Josh at some point this evening. He'd expected to be able to congratulate them over the phone. But the tone of her voice had surprised him as had the first sentence out of her mouth after she'd greeted him.

Leo had had another heart attack. He hadn't survived.

Of course he'd known about Leo's first heart attack. He'd sent a card, called Mallory, and called Leo as soon as Leo could receive calls. When he'd heard on the news that Leo was joining the Santos ticket he'd called Josh to see how Leo was doing, if they were sure Leo's health could handle the stress of a Presidential campaign. Josh had assured him that Leo had had a complete physical and been cleared to run. So this….

Sam shook his head to clear it. If the news was hitting him this hard he couldn't imagine how the others were doing. He had always respected Leo, as much as he respected the President. From the first day he met the two men he'd admired them more than he'd ever admired anyone. But his and Leo's relationship had never gone past a close boss / employee one. Not like Josh's had, and CJ's had.

Josh had known Leo since he was just a kid, during Noah and Leo's friendship. Sam knew that that relationship had grown after Noah's death. Each man had used the other to fill a void in their life. Josh had turned to Leo as a surrogate father and Leo, who according to Mallory had always wished he and Jenny had had another child, a son, had begun to see Josh as the son he'd never had.

Sam knew Josh well enough and had known him long enough to know how hard Josh was going to take this. And to know that Josh would blame himself. Josh always blamed himself.

At that, Sam smiled. There was only one person who knew Josh better than he did. For the last few years he'd wondered when Josh and Donna would finally figure out what was between them. After the Gaza bombing he'd been sure that it would happen. It hadn't. Now, with Leo's death, and the huge transition that both of their lives were about to make, whether Matt Santos won the election or not, he was sure that the relationship between the two would be shifting. If it hadn't changed already.

Regardless, he was just glad that Donna was with Josh right now. That she'd be with him throughout the night and the next few difficult days.

He wondered how Mallory was doing. A romantic relationship between the two of them hadn't worked out but he still cared about her, still considered her a friend. He'd spoken with her by phone just a few days before. She'd been planning on joining her father this morning and staying with him as they waited for the results.

Mal's husband was to be with her as was the baby. Sam was glad about that. Mallory and her father had never been as close as some fathers and daughters were, which he knew both of them regretted, but in the last few years they'd been trying to repair their relationship. Mallory had taken a year off from teaching to be with the baby and they'd both spent quite a bit of time on the campaign trail with Leo. She shouldn't have been alone when she found out.

He grabbed the pad of paper he kept next to the phone and jotted down Mallory's name. Beneath it he wrote Josh's. Mallory he would call in the morning, after giving her private time with her grief and those closest to her. Josh he'd call after the results of the election were released. He knew from experience that the hotel suite would be a madhouse until then.

After a brief hesitation he added the President's name to his short list. After more than thirty years of friendship, through most of which they'd been closer than most brothers, a condolence call was in order. He realized that he wouldn't get to speak with the President, but it was still a gesture he felt he should make.

Sam rose from his chair and went into the kitchen. He set the coffee pot.

It had been almost four years since he'd been in Washington DC. After he'd lost the election, Leo had offered him another position in the White House. A higher position. He'd seriously considered accepting. Eventually, after much thought, he'd decided against taking the position. As much as he'd enjoyed his position in the Bartlett administration and all the good that they'd done, staying in DC hadn't been good for him. After the President's MS came out, and the hearings, he'd been too disillusioned.

Instead, he'd purchased a beach house and started writing. His original plan was to take a few weeks or months off and then go to work at a law firm, or possibly, start his own firm. More and more time passed and he became more and more involved with his writing. His first novel was published and sold well and he decided to continue to write.

Sometimes he missed practicing law. Sometimes he missed being in the thick of things in DC or the highs of campaign life. Those times were rarer and rarer every year.

His new life was slow paced and that was fine with him.

He couldn't see himself going back to his old life any time soon but he'd go back for the funeral. He'd go back to say goodbye to Leo.

'''''''''''''''''''''''

The house was filled with chaos, but then, it usually was. She tried not to spend much time here for that reason.

"Give me the ball!" Gus yelled as he chased his Golden Retriever, Barrik, through the living room. The dog paused just enough for the boy to almost catch up with him and then he took off again.

From across the room Annie met her aunt's eyes and rolled her own before turning her attention back to the conversation that she was having over the phone. Every few minutes the girl's voice would rise in excitement at something she and her best friend were discussing.

Doug and a few campaign staffers were holding a meeting in the dining room. She could hear bits and pieces through the open door. Why they were even discussing ways to save the election was beyond her. She'd known from the beginning that Doug hadn't a prayer of winning.

Her mother and Liz sat together on the sofa quietly talking while in the corner of the room the television was on to election night coverage. The station was currently showing the limo carrying Matt and Helen Santos arrive at the hotel.

Zoey stood up and went into the kitchen. Here it was quiet. Growing up in this family one would think she'd have gotten used to the organized chaos by now. In many ways she had but she didn't feed off of it, not like Liz did. Not like her father did.

Before the kidnapping she'd hadn't really enjoyed being the President's daughter. The attention, the Secret Service protection, everything she did, every decision she made being scrutinized but she'd been able to block it out most of the time. Tell herself that it was only for a few years and then it would all be over, she'd be able to be normal for the first time in her life.

That was before her graduation night had happened. Before the Qumari government had decided to take out their issues with her father on her.

Just the thought of that night caused Zoey to shudder uncontrollably. She leaned against the kitchen counter to stabilize herself. Why did these thoughts still do this to her? It had been three years yet one little thought could bring it all back. She could feel their hands on her, feel what it had been like to have a heavy hand clamped over her mouth so tightly that she couldn't even try to scream.

The rich smell of coffee that had permeated the kitchen seconds ago was replaced by the smell of their sweat and bad breath. She could see their cold emotionless eyes and the leers that they'd had on their faces when they'd looked at her.

She shoved away from the counter and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. She took a large swallow followed by several deep breaths.

Once the trembling had stopped, once the room had calmed down and the images had faded, Zoey sunk down into a chair.

That happened often now, at least a few times a week. For the first few months she'd expected it to fade. She'd thought the fear and the memories would go away or at least be relegated to somewhere in the back of her mind where they couldn't bother her. By now she'd accepted that that wasn't going to happen.

Everything grated on her nerves now. Every little difference in her life from the lives of her friends. She had never loved the press attention, now she hated it.

Her Secret Service team had doubled, becoming suffocating. Yet she had nightmares that they weren't there, that the agents were gone and she was vulnerable again. She was secretly terrified of the day on which that would actually happen.

No one knew any of this. For the first few months after… her throat started to go dry again and her hands clammy and Zoey forcefully pushed the thought aside. For months she'd seen a psychologist but she'd fooled the woman, convinced her that everything was alright, that Zoey was going to be okay. Her family and friends had watched her closely during that time but their attention had faded, gone back to their own lives and problems.

Zoey stood and poured herself a mug of coffee and sweetened it to her liking, though as she did so she wondered why, she wouldn't be drinking it. To her family this would be the reason she came into the kitchen.

Finally she headed back into the living room to rejoin the rest of her family. Or, at least, the members of the family who were here.

Her father had been here earlier but had left hours before to go back to the White House. He'd said that he had to check in on the 'stan thing but Zoey knew that he just wanted to get out of here. He didn't want to upset Liz by gloating when Doug lost but gloat he would.

Ellie too was not here. She wasn't feeling well so she and her husband had stayed home.

As Zoey stepped back into the living room the phone rang and Liz gracefully rose to answer it. After a few seconds she smiled and greeted their father before handing the phone to their mother.

Abbey was smiling when she accepted the phone but within seconds her expression fell. Zoey moved forward to perch on the sofa arm next to her mother, watching the expression on Abbey's face grow more and more grim.

Dread was starting to build in her stomach. They were so close to the end of her father's time as President. She'd hoped that nothing more would happen, that the worst was behind them. So much had happened during her father's term, more than their share.

Abbey hung up the phone and took a deep breath before facing her two daughters.

"Mom?" Liz said quietly.

"Leo had another heart attack. He wasn't breathing when he was found but they are taking him to the hospital."

Zoey's eyes dropped shut. She felt the tears seeping from beneath her closed eyelids. "Is he…?"

"I'm not sure Zoey. From the little information that your father had, Leo's condition sounds pretty serious but they're taking him to the hospital. That is a good sign. If the EMTs hadn't thought that there was at least a small chance of reviving him they wouldn't have transported him to the hospital."

"Does Mallory know?" Liz asked.

"Yes. Your father said that Mallory was in town to support Leo through the election. She and her husband are en route to the hospital."

Zoey quietly slid off the arm of the sofa and down to the hard wood floor. She curled her legs under her and leaned her head against her mother's leg.

Abbey absently reached out to stroke her youngest daughter's hair. This was one of Zoey's favorite positions when she was a child but it had been years since she'd sat like this.

Liz had returned to her seat next to her mother. She took Abbey's free hand.

The three of them sat like that, listening to the quiet drone of voices coming from the dining room and the sudden bursts of Gus's laughter that came from the other room every few minutes, usually followed by playful barks.

When the phone rang again, Zoey lifted her head to watch as her sister answered it. Liz quickly handed the phone to their mother, confirming that it was their father.

Abbey listened for a few seconds and then mouthed 'no news' to her daughter's. While her mother spoke on the phone, Zoey stood back up and crossed the room to stand in front of the television.

A picture of Leo filled the screen. Apparently they had the information on the heart attack. The news anchor was detailing Leo's political career and the campaign. She wished that it would stay that way, with the press focusing on the good aspects of Leo's life. The political service that he was so proud of, and of course, Mallory and Brianna.

Zoey couldn't help but grin. She'd seen Leo with baby Brianna only once and then briefly but it had been clear that he doted on the child already. The infant had stared up at her grandfather with such adoration on her face that Zoey had remarked to Mallory that she and David were going to have to move to DC so that Brianna would be able to spend more time with her grandfather.

"Oh, Jed, I'm sorry."

At the exclamation Zoey spun around to look at her mother. The sorrow on her mother's face answered her unspoken question and Zoey's tears streamed down her face. She turned back around, staring at her godfather's smiling face on the television screen as she fought back the selfish panic rising within her. Leo's death would mean returning to DC with her family. It would mean attending a funeral and probably a wake.

She hated that those were among her first thoughts but she couldn't help it. Leo's death meant that she was going to have to do what was becoming more and more difficult for her. But she shouldn't be thinking about that now.

She looked back at Leo's image on the television screen. "I'll miss you Uncle Leo," she whispered.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Packed, was all that Sam could think as he glanced around the cathedral. Secret Service Agents were everywhere, a testament to Leo's importance and to the importance of many of those in attendance.

His ID had been checked at the door and for half a second he'd wondered if he was going to be allowed inside. Josh and Mallory had both known that he was coming though and he was on the list.

He took a seat in a pew near the middle of the cathedral and glanced at his watch. Fifteen minutes to the start of the service and already so many people had arrived.

Congressman Matt Skinner caught Sam's eyes from across the room and smiled and nodded in his direction. Sam returned the acknowledgment.

So many of his old friends were in this room. He hated that his reunion with them had to come in this kind of circumstance. Why couldn't it have been a wedding that brought them all together again?

In the last few years he'd kept in contact with only his closest friends from DC. He spoke regularly with Josh, Donna, Toby, CJ, and Mallory. Before Leo's death they had kept in contact. He spoke with Will, Charlie, Bonnie, and Ginger on occasion. With those exceptions he hadn't spoken to anyone in this room in at least two years.

When he'd heard about the Gaza bombing on the news, and about Donna and Andy's involvement, he'd considered coming back. He'd called and spoken with CJ, found out that Andy was understandably shaken up but uninjured but that Donna was in critical condition.

He'd hung up from his call to CJ and immediately dialed Leo's number, which he still had memorized. Old habits died hard. Leo had shared his worry about Josh, about such a violent act triggering a PTSD episode.

Both of them had been terrified of what would happen to Josh if Donna didn't make it. By the time of Sam's call Josh had already been on the way to the airport to catch a flight to Germany. They'd been worried that if Donna didn't survive Josh's hours long flight, he'd be alone in Germany when he fell to pieces.

They'd spoken then, briefly, of the feelings that they both had long suspected were between Josh and Donna and Leo had sighed and told Sam that if Donna survived he wouldn't stand between a relationship between Josh and Donna.

Only once before had Sam prayed so hard for a friend's survival.

President Elect and Mrs. Santos were led into the room by Secret Service and taken to the first pew on the left side of the room. President Bartlet and his wife already occupied the pew along with all three of there daughters. Doug Westin was absent. Dr. Bartlet and Mrs. Santos hugged and Mrs. Santos turned her attention to greeting the three girls. President Bartlet and President Elect Santos shook hands.

Sam shook his head. Girls. They wouldn't be happy about that description. Liz was older than he was and Ellie was about his age. His gaze settled on Zoey. It was hard to think of someone as grown up when you'd known them since they were sixteen but Zoey was indeed grown up.

Cars, music, and boys had held sixteen year old Zoey's attention just like they did the attention of most teenage girls. Nearly every time he'd seen her during the campaign she'd had headphones over her ears and much of the time the CD player was up loud enough for him to hear the music several feet away from her. Unlike other teens Zoey had been able to explain the electoral system. She'd joined in on heated debates on the bus and in various hotel rooms and had held her own. And she'd greeted members of Congress and the Senate by name, rarely if ever making a mistake.

As she'd grown older she's kept her vitality, her spirit. Even after Roslyn she'd joked and teased with the group. She'd had a smile for any member of the Senior Staff, usually when they most needed it. He'd looked forward to Zoey's sunny visits to the West Wing.

He'd received a graduation announcement in the mail and had called Zoey to congratulate her. He'd sent a card and a gift.

He was at the gym when news coverage broke in to the program on the television screen closest to him. When he'd first seen the news caster's face fade away and Zoey's face fill the screen he'd chuckled, wondering what mischief the girl had gotten into on graduation night. Josh had filled him in on the French boyfriend that none of them trusted or liked.

And then the voiceover had broken into his amusement. With the rest of the world he'd found out about the kidnapping, the panic sweeping Washington DC and much of the east coast.

He'd wished he was still there, that he was still in the know. That he was still a presidential advisor with access to the information that he'd wanted. There had been no going back, no erasing the decisions he'd made.

He spent the days she was missing glued to the television, hoping that he wasn't going to have to go back for her funeral.

Ginger called him minutes before the news broke to tell him that Zoey had been found and the First Family was on their way to her. He'd opened a bottle of Champaign and celebrated with the latest in a long list of girlfriends since he'd returned to California. A woman who cared enough about politics only to vote once every four years for President.

The Zoey whom he'd seen on TV in the last couple of years wasn't the Zoey he had known. Even through a television screen he could see the lack of energy in her now, the quiet aloofness that had never been there before. She was wounded and he hated to see it.

Behind the Bartlet's and Mrs. Santos sat CJ, Will, Margaret, Carol, and a few others whom he didn't know. He recognized Annabeth from the White House press briefings she'd done. He also recognized Lou from campaign footage he'd seen on TV.

Mallory occupied the first pew on the right side of the room. Her husband and mother sat on either side of her. Jenny held her granddaughter on her lap. Donna and Josh also occupied that pew. With all of the long sleepless nights they'd spent together at the White House, all of the times he'd seen Josh hung over, he was sure he'd never seen the other man look so old, so exhausted.

As the Priest rose to speak Sam felt movement in the pew. He looked up as Toby slid into the one empty spot next to him. Andy was already here, had been here when Sam had arrived. She sat on the other side of the room with a few other Congresspersons.

He tried to turn his attention back to the Priest, to concentrate on the service but couldn't make himself. Images of Leo flashed through his mind throughout the service. Before he knew it they were giving closing prayer.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

So many people, Zoey thought as she looked around her. She was glad that Leo had had so many friends, so many people who cared for him. Yet she could feel herself starting to get claustrophobic.

It had been one thing in the church. Everyone had been seated, sticking to themselves or chatting quietly with those seated around them before the service started. Now everyone was mingling, moving about the room with their little plates of delicacies and drinks.

She'd lost count of how many people she'd spoken with in the last half-hour. She wasn't even sure that she knew them all, though, of course, they'd known her.

Her hand tensed around her punch glass. Someone else was approaching, someone else she didn't recognize.

"Zoey." The woman leaned in for a hug and Zoey held back her flinch. She had gotten very good at that. "We were so shocked and saddened when we learned about Leo."

"Yes, so were we."

"This must be so hard on your father, on all of you. You've known Leo for years haven't you?"

"I met Leo and Jenny for the first time when I was only a few days old."

"As I said, this must be so hard for your family."

As much as Zoey wanted to flee, not just this conversation but this whole thing, she kept her expression neutral. "We cared very much for Leo and will miss him greatly." Exactly what her father had said in the statement released to the press.

"Are you close with Leo's daughter? How is she doing? I haven't had a chance to speak with her yet."

Someone joined them, presumably the woman's husband because he put his arm around her. Zoey's head had begun to pound and she had to remind herself to breath. She forced a smile. "Mallory and I have been friends since childhood. We've spoken several times since…. She misses her father, of course, but she's a very strong woman."

"I'm glad that she's doing well."

"It was nice speaking with you Zoey," the man said and she didn't point out that this was the first time he'd spoken. Instead she nodded.

The couple walked away and Zoey glanced around, trying to find the quickest, easiest path to an exit.

She walked toward the door, careful to keep her pace a moderate speed. Outside she found herself in a small garden. She wandered a few feet down the dirt path to a stone bench. Finally a little bit of quiet.

She leaned back against the bench and closed her eyes. For the first time that day she allowed tears to fall. There would probably be mascara streaks down her cheeks but she didn't care, not now.

If anyone found her they'd assume the tears were for Leo. Some of them were, but not all. No one would understand that. Not her mother, her father, either of her sisters, or her friends. Definitely not the politicians and hangers on that had fawned over her since she was just a little girl.

She was Zoey Bartlet, the youngest First Daughter of the United States. Josiah Bartlet's baby girl. The perfect daughter who got straight A's and always tried to make her parents happy. The cheerful girl who always bounced back even after being kidnapped.

Oh, she was allowed to be affected by that. For a little while. But she should be over it by now, shouldn't she? That's what everyone thought, what everyone felt.

They didn't know how she felt when she was exposed to this world. They didn't know how scared she got, even now. How hard it could be to breath in a room packed with people. How hard it was to pretend all was fine when nothing was fine.

"Zoey."

She swallowed hard, instantly placing the voice. She reached up to try to brush the tears away as she looked up.

"Don't." Sam pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket as he sat next to Zoey on the bench. He gently wiped her face.

She was pale and the black streaks the mascara had left on her face stood out boldly. There were rings under her eyes as if she hadn't been sleeping well and she was thin. Thinner than she'd been when he'd first known her when she was a teen.

For what felt like the millionth time that day Zoey forced a smile and a cheerful voice. "Thanks. I just needed a few minutes. Most of those people in there weren't very close to Leo."

"That's true." He saw the relief come into her eyes. She thought he bought it. "Is this all about Leo, Zoey?"

"What?"

He ran his thumb down her still damp cheek and then up to caress the area under her right eye. "When did you stop sleeping?"

"The last few days have been tough Sam, on all of us. Have you slept well?"

"Not too well," he admitted. "But I don't have circles under my eyes."

With a heavy sigh Zoey decided that she should stop trying to fool him. It wasn't working. "I sometimes have trouble sleeping. The last few days it has been worse than usual."

"How long have you had insomnia?"

"A few years."

"Since the kidnapping?" It wasn't really a question and they both knew it. "Your family doesn't know?" Another question he already had the answer to.

"There's always so much going on. So much that each of them has to do, has to take care of. Daddy's health hasn't been the best the last couple of years. I can't put more on them."

The desperation in her eyes, the pleading in her voice, broke his heart. He laid his hand on hers where it lay on the bench between them. "They love you. They'd want to be able to help you."

"You can't tell them any of this Sam. Please."

He should tell her that he couldn't make that promise. That she needed help and her parents couldn't give it to her if they didn't know. On the other hand, he'd picked up on Zoey's problems, on the fact that she wasn't nearly as over the kidnapping as she wanted everyone to believe after spending less than a minute with her.

He'd known Zoey for years but he didn't know her as well at the President and First Lady did, or at least, as well as they should. As well as they had known her not all that long ago.

If her parents hadn't picked up on all that Zoey was still going through maybe she was right. Maybe they were already under too much stress and couldn't handle any more. Maybe they chose to believe that Zoey was alright as a subconscious defense mechanism because it was easiest.

"I think you're making a mistake. Your parents love you. They'd do anything for you Zoey," Sam finally said. "If you don't want them to know, it isn't my business to tell them."

Zoey bit her lip and nodded.

"But Zoey, you have to promise me something. You need help. You need to talk to someone." She started to shake her head and Sam went on. "That's the deal Zo. It doesn't have to be a professional. It can be me. It can be one of your sisters or Josh."

A drop of blood beaded on her bottom lip where she'd been biting it. Sam was startled by the urge to brush it away, or to kiss it away. He shook his head in an effort to clear away the insane thought.

This was Zoey Bartlett, he reminded himself, the President's youngest child. She was twenty years younger than he and here he was fantasizing about kissing her. He could be her friend, her could help through all of this, step in where no one else had. But that was all he could do. All that there could be between the two of them. Why was he having so much trouble convincing himself of that?

He shook his head in a vain effort to clear away those thoughts. "Promise?"

She nodded once. "Thank you." Her voice was so soft that he could barely hear her.

Sam gave into his urge and ran his thumb along her bottom lip, gently wiping away the bead of blood in the process. "You're welcome."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Pain (2?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine and never will be.

Rating: PG

Summary: After Leo's death Zoey finally confronts her feelings about the kidnapping.

Spoilers: Anything up to season 7 is fair game, with specific focus on the kidnapping and Leo's death.

Pairing: Sam/Zoey

Author's Notes: This story is going to deal with sexual abuse. If you can't handle that you should turn back now.

Thank you to Anakam and Abigail for their help with this story.

'''''''''''''''''''''''

Sam let himself into his hotel room and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. He should schedule himself on a flight tomorrow. Hell, he should have scheduled a return flight when he made reservations to come here.

He set his water on the table and peeled off his suit jacket. He had promised himself that he was coming back to DC for Leo's funeral. That was it. After the funeral it was straight back to California and his life there.

As he hung the jacket up and took a pair of shorts from his suitcase he knew that wasn't going to happen, not yet. He was staying in DC for a while. By doing so he was giving people the impression that he might be interested in coming back to politics. He wasn't willing to come back to that life so he should be on the next flight out of here.

He knew why he was staying. Zoey. He'd promised her that he'd be there for her. If he was on the west coast and she was on the east coast, how could he be? That too was a reason why he should be on the next plane to southern California.

He was interested in the President's daughter. He couldn't deny it to himself. He should avoid her, block away the feelings before they developed, became something more, but he wasn't going to.

It was probably a mistake. No, it was a mistake. But he was going to try to help Zoey.

Sam grabbed the phone and called room service to order something for dinner. He hadn't had an appetite at the wake. He'd always wondered how people could eat at a wake, how the funeral they'd just been to hadn't driven away all desire for food.

He'd also wondered how people could have idle conversation at a funeral or wake. How they could conduct business at one.

There'd been business at Leo's wake and politics. He'd overheard more than one conversation filled with speculation on Leo's replacement as Vice President. He'd heard the talk on cabinet positions and on the speaker race.

Josh had actually approached him toward the end of the wake. He'd offered him Deputy Chief of Staff. He'd turned the job down. His former job had been stressful enough. DCOS would be worse.

He knew that wasn't the last of it. Josh would ask him again. He'd insist and he'd beg but Sam's answer wouldn't change. It couldn't change. By coming back to this life he'd lose part of himself again.

A glance at the clock told him that he had time for a quick shower before his food arrived.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Zoey," Mallory said as she opened the door. She stepped aside and gestured the younger woman inside. "Thank you for coming."

The two women hugged.

"How could I do anything else?" Zoey asked. "My parents are sorry they couldn't come."

Mallory started toward the living room with Zoey following. "I understand that they'd be here if they could be."

Zoey glanced around the room. She'd been here many times through her childhood and teenage years but hadn't been here in years. It, and probably the whole house, had changed much. Gone from the mantel was Leo and Jenny's wedding picture, which had been there as long as Zoey could remember. Replacing it was a photo of Jenny and her second husband lounging together in the backyard. The picture of her father and Leo on election night was also gone.

"Zoey, it's good to see you," Jenny said as she rose from the sofa, her granddaughter in her arms. The two exchanged a one armed hug while Brianna perched on her grandmother's hip.

Jenny handed the baby to Mallory. "Would you like something to eat, Zoey? You wouldn't believe how much food we have. It seems as if everyone we know has dropped something by."

"No thank you Aunt Jenny."

"A drink then. Are you still partial to Diet Coke?"

"Diet Coke sounds great," Zoey lied with a smile.

"Mallory?"

"Diet Coke is fine. Thank you Mom."

After Jenny had left the room the two younger women settled in adjacent armchairs.

"I'm sorry we didn't have a chance to speak at the funeral or at the reception afterward. Everything was so chaotic."

"I was glad to see so many people."

"So was I. My father was respected if not loved by everyone." Mallory's voice was soft. "I'm going to miss him."

Brianna bounced on her mother's lap, jabbering in baby talk. Zoey picked up the baby keys that had fallen on the floor and handed them to Brianna.

"I never thought that I would," Mallory admitted. "I used to think that I could go on without him and barely notice. We weren't close and as far as I was concerned that was fine."

"Because of the drugs and alcohol?"

"Partially. I adored Daddy when I was a little girl. He couldn't do anything wrong, not in my eyes. I'd hear my parents arguing at night and I blamed my mother. It didn't matter what they were yelling about it had to be her fault.

"As I got older that changed. I saw the drug and alcohol addictions. I saw his involvement in politics and the amount of time he spent on politics. I realized how much my father cared about politics and that maybe he didn't care as much about me."

"That wasn't true Mallory. Every time your father came over he'd talk about you. He'd tell us about your latest accomplishments, your perfect grades. He carried pictures of you and showed them at every opportunity."

Mallory shot Zoey a watery smile. "Thank you."

The baby was leaning toward Zoey who took her and settled her on her lap.

"Sometimes I felt the same way about my father," Zoey said softly.

"Like politics were everything and you weren't?"

"Yeah."

Mallory hesitated. "Is that how you felt when you were kidnapped? Did you blame your father and his political ambitions?"

Zoey went pale when she heard the word 'kidnapped'. She looked down at the baby on her lap, concentrating on her as she spoke. "When I was first…" She swallowed. "I don't remember much of what I thought. Everything is jumbled and confused. But later I can remember sitting by myself in the dark and wondering what had caused it. Why they'd taken me."

When Zoey's voice trailed of Mallory spoke. "I'm sorry Zoey, I shouldn't have asked. You don't have to go on."

She shook her head. "It's fine. Yes, I figured that I was taken for political reasons and I blamed my Dad." She finally looked up, met Mallory's eyes. "I blamed your dad too. I blamed the entire Secret Service, Nancy McNally, Admiral Fitzwallace, the FBI, Josh, Toby, CJ. I blamed everyone that I could think of because blaming the people responsible didn't seem to help. Even after I was home I couldn't stop blaming everyone."

"How long did it take?" Mallory asked curiously.

Zoey swallowed. "Truth?" When they were children she, Mallory, and Ellie would ask each other that. If Mal repeated the word it would mean she wanted the unvarnished truth and was agreeing to keep it between them. The other option was to say no.

"Truth."

"I still haven't completely been able to stop. I know it isn't rational but I can't stop the thoughts."

"I think I would feel the same way."

Zoey set the squirming Brianna down on the floor next to her feet and the baby started playing with her shoelaces.

"It was your kidnapping that started to change things between my father and I."

Zoey's eyes widened. "It was?"

"He called me that night. Even before I heard about the kidnapping on the news. He said he just wanted to make sure I was okay and to let me know before I heard it another way." She brushed a lock of hair off of her forehead. "The Secret Service sent agents to me and doubled your sisters' details."

"I know."

"Dad started calling more often and meeting me for lunch or whatever more often." Mallory smiled. "And then of course, the baby helped our relationship even more."

Zoey forced a small smile. "I'm glad that something good came of that night, those days."

Brianna stood up, balancing herself on Zoey's legs. She grinned widely and handed Zoey the keys still clutched in her hand.

Zoey chuckled. "Thank you Bri."

"I know you said you didn't want anything but a drink but I brought sandwiches and sliced fruit." Jenny set the tray she held on the table. She glanced between the two women, smiling fondly at them both. "Neither of you eat enough."

Mallory rolled her eyes and glanced at Zoey. "Mothers."

"Try having a mother who is also a doctor."

"I'll pass on that."

Jenny handed each of them a plate and a drink.

"I'm really not hungry." At Jenny's answering look, Zoey took a bite of her watercress sandwich. Aware that both Mallory and Jenny were watching her, Zoey forced herself to swallow the food.

Jenny picked the baby up and handed her a cracker from the tray. "I was sorry to hear that Liz had to leave so soon. It's been a couple of years since she and I have had the opportunity to visit."

"I know that Liz wished she could stay longer but she had to get home." She gave a small, wry smile as she gratefully set the plate aside. "Liz and Doug have been having some trouble with Annie. The campaign didn't help."

"Oh."

"Ellie and Vic stopped by earlier this afternoon, not long after we got home," Mallory said. "He seems nice. The only other time I've met him was at the wedding."

"Yes, he does seem nice. I don't know him well. I'd never even met him when Ellie announced that they were getting married." Zoey shifted in her chair. She'd come today because it was the polite thing to do, the thing expected of her. Leo and Jenny were her Godparents after all.

Already she'd stayed longer than she had planned, gotten much more personal in conversation than she'd planned. For the last few years she'd avoided personal conversation whenever possible. What had gotten into her today she didn't know, first her conversation with Sam and now the conversation with Mallory.

The sound of the front door opening had them all turning toward the sound. A few seconds later Mallory's husband David entered the room.

"I'm sorry I took so long, traffic back from the airport was a nightmare," David said. He caught sight of Zoey and smiled. "Zoey, it's nice to see you again."

"David's parents had to get home," Mallory explained to Zoey. "His mother has a doctor's appointment tomorrow."

Zoey nodded in understanding as she stood up. "I should go. I'm sure you have something more important to do than visit with me right now."

"It's been good seeing you. We don't get together as often as we should," Mallory said.

"No, we don't." They exchanged their goodbyes and Zoey fled.

She climbed into the backseat of the car, grateful for the Secret Service transportation. Not for the first time she wondered what was going to happen in a few weeks when her father was out of office. Her life would change, in so many ways. This was only one of them. She was going to have to get in the habit of going places alone and of driving herself even though just the thought of the lack of protection made her shiver.

Her head fell back against the head rest and she allowed her eyes to drop shut. The day had been exhausting. She was glad that it was finally over, that she could go to the Residence, lock herself in her room and lay down on the bed. She wouldn't sleep, not until late in the night, and then not for long. She never slept easily no mater how tired she was and where she was.

The car moved steadily toward the White House, the motion of the vehicle calming her. She played the day through her mind, stopping at the thought of Sam. The encounter with him had been unexpected.

She'd seen him at the cathedral right after the funeral. He'd come up to greet her parents while she'd been standing with them. They'd exchanged pleasantries and she'd thought that that would be the last she'd see of him before he went back to California.

He'd looked good. Calm, relaxed, he hadn't been happy to be at a funeral but she could see that he was content with his life. The last months, maybe years, that he'd been at the White House hadn't been like that. As little as she'd seen him she'd been able to see the burnout. When she'd heard that he'd left the White House she'd been glad for him. Josh had mentioned that Sam was writing a book and she'd looked forward to reading it. That was before graduation night. Before her world fell in around her, trying to crush her.

She had a copy of his first novel. She'd purchased it on a trip to the mall with Liz and Annie but hadn't read it. It was sitting in a stack on her nightstand at the farm. She kept telling herself that she'd start reading again and that Sam's book would be the one she started with. So far that hadn't happened.

She'd known his voice when he spoke to her in the garden this afternoon. Since she was fifteen years old she'd been able to place that voice. For a while she'd even dreamed of it. No one knew that. Even her mother didn't know that during the campaign and the first year or so in office she'd had a crush on Sam.

Ellie thought that she'd had a crush on Josh. During the campaign her sister had teased her about that. She had blushed and pretended that her sister was right in order to keep Ellie from figuring out the truth. As their time in office passed her crush faded but today it had come rushing back.

He'd been there next to her on the bench, touching her as she imagined so many times years before.

Had he meant the things he'd said? Had he been as concerned about her as he'd sounded? He was probably on a flight to California right now. He'd said what he had because he'd been so surprised. She'd never see him again, or, if she did, it would be years from now at another funeral. Or maybe at a wedding. For CJ, for Toby, for Josh, maybe Charlie or Will.

The car pulled through the gates of the White House.

He'd been speaking out of his shock and surprise to find her like that. If he'd been concerned it was because of her father, because of the Administration. That's all it was. All that it could possibly be.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Sam stepped into the transition office and glanced around. The organized chaos that he remembered well surrounded him. He took in the assistants and interns bustling around picking out a few people whom he recognized from the day before.

He knew none of the people he saw. It was humbling to think that after just a few years he was completely out of the loop.

"Mr. Seaborn?"

The woman who had just spoken to him had been at the funeral the day before. He glanced at the name badge she was wearing, Ronna. "Yes."

"Josh is ready to meet with you. If you'll follow me." She didn't wait for his reply, just started walking assuming that he'd follow.

Josh was standing near the door, antsy as ever as he waited. The two men shook hands.

"Come on, I'll show you the office you'll be using for the next few weeks. Well, really it's a cubical, but still."

"My answer hasn't changed," Sam broke in.

"You had time to consider it. This isn't a job opportunity that you can turn down Sam. Deputy Chief of Staff in the White House."

"You thrive on politics. That part of my life is over. I like my house, my career, my life."

"So keep the house. It'll still be there in eight years."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "A little ahead of yourself aren't you? You've only won one term."

Josh shrugged. "We'll win another. You can write in your spare time and how hard can it be to move your life to DC? You've done it before."

"No, I gave up my life before. I'm not doing it again."

It was nearly a minute before Josh spoke again. "There's someone in California. Someone you care about more than you did Lisa."

"There's not."

"Then why…" At Sam's look he trailed off. "Fine. You don't want the job."

Sam wanted to laugh at the perplexed expression on his friend's face and the confusion in his voice.

"How long are you going to be in DC? Maybe we can have a drink tonight."

It sounded like Josh was backing off but Sam knew the other man well enough to know that this wasn't the end of it. Josh would give it a little time and then continue to push him. "I'm not sure."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're not sure? You're not scheduled on a flight?"

"No."

After a moment, Josh asked, "Do you have another job offer? At a law firm maybe?"

"No, there isn't another job offer."

Josh grinned. "You're really planning on taking this one. You've been playing me, trying to see if I'd beg. I'll admit, I was just a couple of days off from begging."

"I'm not taking the DCoS job Josh."

He studied his friend's face. Sam was serious. Josh gestured to two chairs. "Then why are you in DC indefinitely?" he asked once they'd both taken seats.

Sam hesitated. How could he explain to Josh when he couldn't explain to himself? Should he tell Josh about his conversation with Zoey the day before? Josh knew Zoey better than he did. During the first campaign the two had hung out on the bus a lot, playing games or whatever and Zoey had occasionally filled in to assist Josh before Donna joined the campaign. The other volunteers hadn't been able to deal with him.

Even once they were in office Zoey and Josh had stayed close. Zoey would stop in to the West Wing occasionally and stop in to see the staff members and Josh was always one of the first ones she visited. She'd chitchat with him while he read through files or walk with him to a meeting in the White House.

Sam knew that Josh adored the young woman. He had since almost as soon as he met her and the feeling had intensified through the years. Zoey was to Josh the younger sister he never had.

Josh would be concerned if Sam told him how Zoey was doing, or rather, not doing. He had so much to do before Santos took office and even more after that. It probably wasn't fair to give him something else to worry about yet he knew that Josh would want to know.

"Sam?" Josh asked after a minute had passed.

"Did you speak with Zoey yesterday?"

"Yeah, I spoke to her at the cathedral after the funeral."

"How did she seem to you?"

"It was a funeral. How was she supposed to seem? How did anyone seem?" He scrutinized Sam's expression, trying to figure out where the younger man was going with this. "What's going on Sam? Did something happen with Zoey after I left?"

"She's not doing very well Josh, and I don't just mean with Leo's death.."

He arched an eyebrow in silent question.

"Really look at her next time you see her. She's lost a lot of weight in the last few years and she looks like she barely sleeps."

"She's working on her Masters. She probably does barely sleep."

"It's more than that. Zoey's a shell and she's shrinking away more and more."

Josh lifted his coffee mug, taking a long swallow. Sam looked really concerned. He really believed all of this.

Zoey had been pale the day before and under her makeup her eyes had been swollen from crying, Donna had commented on it to him. But as he told Sam, it was a funeral. People cried when a loved one died, they lost sleep, didn't eat like they should.

Even as he tried to convince himself of that he searched back for the last time he'd seen Zoey before Leo's death. It had been a while. As he pictured her he couldn't help but wonder if Sam could be right about the weight loss.

Sam had always been sensitive. He'd always been observant and picked up on things quicker than Josh did. And usually Sam was correct. Still, he wasn't always right. "Her parents…"

"President and Dr. Bartlet have been busy, especially lately with the end of the term. And," he paused for a moment before going on softly, "I think they wanted to believe that she was alright."

Josh stood, paced across the small room. "For a few weeks she was really bad. Barely talked, had bad nightmares, wouldn't eat." At Sam's surprised look he went on. "We managed to keep the worst of it out of the press. The miracle that is CJ. Dr. Bartlett went to the farm with Zoey, stayed there with her for a couple of months."

"Did she have psychiatric help?"

"Yeah. I think she broke off the meetings after a year or so. Everyone thought that she was fine." He ran his hand through his hair.

"She's not," Sam said softly. "I thought of speaking with the President and First Lady but she asked me not to." He ran his hand over his face. "You had to have seen her Josh. Her eyes… I promised I wouldn't speak to her parents. She's so worried about them, more than about herself."

Josh smiled. "That's Zoey." His smile faded quickly. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Could you get her to resume counseling?"

"I could try." He hesitated. "The thing is I'm not sure I should try. It might be best if I stay out of it. Being around her more…"

Ronna knocked once, then peeked into the room. "Josh, the President Elect is ready for you."

"Thanks." Ronna closed the door and Josh turned back to Sam. "Can we continue this later? My advice for now would be to talk to her, get her to see a counselor if you can."

"Sure. We'll talk more later."

Sam sat out in his rental car a few minutes later with his head leaning into his hands. What would Josh have told him if he'd been able to complete his last sentence? Would Josh have still recommended that he spend more time with Zoey?

It might be better that they'd been interrupted. If he'd told Josh how he'd felt out in the garden with Zoey, how he'd wanted to kiss her, the thoughts that had plagued most of the night before, Josh would have been disgusted with him. Much as he already was with himself.

Yet, Josh might have come up with a better way to handle this. He might have been able to help Sam get rid of the thoughts he'd been having of Zoey for the last day.

He sat there for a few minutes more wondering how to handle everything before starting the ignition and pulling out of his parking spot.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Samuel," CJ said, grinning, as she hugged him. "I must say I was surprised when you called. I expected you to be back in California thawing out by now."

Sam smiled and shrugged. "That was my original plan. I decided to stay longer." He glanced around. "It must be strange. Especially now."

"Yes. I still catch myself referring to it as 'Leo's office'. The staff has the same problem." Her smile turned wistful. "It's weird, I know, but I can almost feel him here. I can almost hear his voice whispering advice to me."

"What does he tell you?" Sam asked curiously.

"Oh, different things. One thing is to not let this job make me think I'm greater than I am. To listen to advice before I advise the President."

"That's good advice."

"It is." She gestured to chairs and they both sat. "So what job did Josh give you?"

"What makes you think he did?"

She just looked at him silently.

"He offered me DCoS. I didn't accept it."

Unlike Josh, she didn't argue with him. Didn't demand to know his reasons. "You're happy in California," she said quietly. "Happy with your life."

"Yes."

"I love my job, the good that we get to do." She paused for a few seconds. "Sometimes I think that you were the smart one, leaving when you did. Of all of us you have a chance at a life."

"Melancholy already? You've got weeks left in office." He smiled. "You'll have a chance at a life away from politics when the Santos team takes over."

She shook her head. "Sometimes I think that it's too late for me. I passed by whatever chance I had to marry, have kids, maybe a house with a picket fence and a golden retriever."

He stared at her, stunned. "Have you always felt like that?"

"It seemed as if we'd always have this." She gestured around her. "Now that's almost over. After the President's term ends my political career is over. I have no personal life and it's too late to learn to have one."

"You think I'm making the right decision not taking the job."

Instead of answering his question, she stood and crossed to the bookshelf, gesturing for Sam to follow.

Sam glanced at the row of books on every topic under the sun, glancing up at her in surprise when he spotted his novel among them. It was the only work of fiction on the shelf.

"It's good Mi Amour." She took the copy out, gently touching the cover. "I didn't buy it for myself."

"Who got it for you?"

"Toby. He told me that it was one of the only recent novels worth reading."

"He never told me."

"He was very proud of you when this came out. So was I."

Sam swallowed against the lump of emotion building in his throat. "Thank you CJ."

"So when does the next one come out and do I get an autographed copy?"

He chuckled. "In a couple of months and of course, if you want one."

She replaced the book on the shelf and led him back toward the couch. "It's good to see you but I am curious to know what brought you to the White House and what kept you in DC."

He shrugged. "Maybe I'm thinking of setting my next novel in DC."

"Even if you are, you lived here long enough, you shouldn't need to do research."

"I was hoping to see Zoey while I was here," he admitted.

CJ's eyes widened. "Zoey?"

"She and I spoke yesterday and there was just something I wanted to tell her as an extension of the conversation. Do you know if she's here?"

"I'm not sure." She glanced at the clock. "It's still early and after last night…."

"After last night?" Sam asked, when she trailed off.

CJ hesitated before going on. "She had a nightmare last night. She may have slept in this morning."

"What kind of nightmare?" Sam demanded.

She blinked in surprise at the tone of his voice and the rigid posture of his body. "After the kidnapping Zoey had very bad nightmares. It's been quite a while since she'd had one, until last night." She paused. "I was with the President when Debbie told him that Abbey needed him in the Residence because of Zoey."

Sam's fingers were clenched on the arm of his chair as he wondered about the nightmares. What thoughts and images came to her while she slept? What had terrified and injured her during those days so much that she still had nightmares over it? Even as he wondered, he knew that he didn't want to know. Rage at her kidnappers filled him.

"Sam?" She couldn't remember seeing Sam like this, not even after Roslyn when they thought that the gunmen had certainly killed Josh.

He shook his head to clear the thoughts away and forced his expression to relax. "I'm sorry CJ."

"Would you like for me to find out if she's in her room?"

"Please."

CJ crossed to her desk to pick up her phone, wondering if she was doing the right thing. All of the members of the Senior Staff were close to the First Daughters, especially Zoey, who as the youngest had always been around the most. During the campaign he'd joked and teased with Zoey just like the rest of them had and that relationship had continued once they were in the White House.

As far as she knew, he'd never before gone to the Residence seeking Zoey, or any of the First Daughters. He'd never made a special trip to see one of them. And his reaction to Zoey's nightmares… he'd reacted harsher than the President had.

At some point Sam's attachment to Zoey had grown. She wasn't sure she should be encouraging it.

She lifted the phone and punched in an extension. She was pretty sure that not many people realized that Zoey had had a crush on Sam during the first campaign. She had noticed and she was sure that the First Lady had noticed but as far as she knew that was it. If Toby or Josh had realized they would have teased Sam mercilessly and Zoey's sisters would have teased her.

Sending Sam to see Zoey probably wasn't the best thing she could do. Later the President would be upset. Maybe not today, but if she was correct, this visit and all that came after it wouldn't please the President.

But if Zoey was having nightmares again…. She let the thought trail off. She'd never been as convinced as Zoey's parents had been that the young woman was completely healed. Maybe Sam was the best thing for her right now.

After hanging up the phone, she turned back to Sam. "She's in her bedroom in the Residence. If you go up, one of the stewards will take you to her."

Sam stood. "Thank you CJ."

"You're welcome," she said quietly as he turned toward the door, praying that she'd done the right thing.

''''''''''''''''''''''''

Sam walked through the halls of the White House. It was a surreal feeling to be back here again after so long. It was even stranger to think that if he went back to the West Wing and peeked into the offices that had belonged to his friends, and to himself, different people would be occupying them. And in a few weeks newer people still would be in those offices.

He reached the Residence and showed his temporary pass and his photo ID. The agent checked the list in his hand and nodded Sam inside.

He'd been here many times, for a late meeting with the President or even to play cards or eat chili but his hands had never felt clammy. He'd never before wanted to just turn around and walk out.

And he'd never before gone to a member of the First Family's bedroom. That alone made this trip incredibly strange. He really hadn't thought they'd take him to Zoey's room. He'd expected that someone would call Zoey out to see him in a more neutral, less personal setting.

As he followed the man toward her room, he knew that this was it. He should turn back. Somehow he knew that if he kept going, his life would change irrevocably, yet he kept walking. He ignored the feeling. He'd never been one to ignore feelings or intuition.

The steward knocked on Zoey's door.

"Yes?"

"You have a visitor Miss. Bartlett."

The door opened after a few moments and Zoey gazed at Sam, shocked. Finally she moved aside, silently allowing him to enter.

He gazed around the room. The room was huge and had a thick white carpet. The draperies over the windows on the far wall were closed and the room was very dark. Zoey led him to a sitting area with large comfortable looking armchairs. Behind the chairs were floor-to-ceiling built in bookshelves. He wasn't at all surprised that the shelves were full. She was her father's daughter.

Once she were both seated her turned his attention back to Zoey. He hadn't thought it possible but she looked worse than she had the day before. She wore a pair of faded sweatpants and a Georgetown sweatshirt. Her feet were bare and her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. She wore no makeup and the rings around her eyes were very pronounced.

Sam fought the urge to brush aside a lock of hair that had fallen into her face. He fought the urge to lift her onto his lap, stroke her hair, and croon to her until she fell into much needed sleep. Instead he asked quietly, "Who were you expecting?"

"What?"

"When you opened the door you looked shocked to see me. Who did you think was at the door Zoey?"

"I… don't know, but not you." She looked down at the ground. "A doctor maybe."

"Do you need a doctor Zoey?" He took in her slight frame and her pale face, silently answering the question for himself.

She shook her head. "But my parents might think I do."

"Why?"

She hesitated for several moments. Finally it was Sam who broke the silence. "Because of your nightmare last night?"

"How did you know?" Instead of giving him time to answer, she went on. "I thought that those at least were gone. It's been a long time since I've had one but last night it just… it was like the thoughts decided that I was vulnerable and they should smack at me."

He finally gave in to his urge and reached out to brush the hair away and trail his hand down her cheek. "What was the nightmare about Zoey?"

She shook her head violently, swallowing hard.

"It might help if you talk about it. What was the nightmare about Zo?"

Suddenly she was out of her chair and crossing the room.

Sam jumped up to follow her. She stopped at the other side of the room, close to the windows. Sam put his hand on her shoulder and she cringed. Silently cursing himself he dropped his hand.

He moved so that he could see her face and nearly cursed out loud. He'd never seen someone look so scared. Her breaths were coming in sharp, ragged, loud. One tear spilled from her eyes, ran down her face but Sam was scared that he'd frighten her more if he brushed it away. "Zo, it's Sam. I'm not going to hurt you."

Slowly the fear started to fade, just a little, replaced by exhaustion. Zoey's body lost its tension and she slid down the wall to sit on the floor. She curled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Tears started to run down her face.

Sam slowly followed suit, sitting on the floor a couple of feet from her. As he watched her, he too wanted to cry. She looked as if her heart was breaking. As he watched her, he tried to imagine what could make her react like this and the tension inside his chest grew. Thoughts and images ran through his mind and he tried to push them aside, praying that he was wrong but they kept returning, kept whispering incessantly that they were right.

It was several minutes before her crying lessened. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

She looked up, meeting his eyes.

"I shouldn't have pushed you Zoey." He reached out to put his hand on her leg, relieved that this time she didn't flinch away from his touch. "The last thing I wanted was to hurt you more."

"It wasn't your fault. It was… I started seeing part of it." She bit down on her lip. "I can't talk about it."

He moved closer and touched her damp cheek. "It's okay. It's okay," he whispered. "You don't have to talk about it Zoey, don't have to tell me, until you're ready."

"Thank you Sam."

"For what?"

She met his eyes. "For noticing. For caring. For coming here."

"Don't thank me." He dropped his hand but within seconds he was raising it again, resting it on her cheek with his thumb running along her bottom lip. His eyes were locked on her. "You'd have been better off if I hadn't come. If I hadn't been the one to find you in the garden yesterday." His thumb dropped away and his hand slowly moved to the back of her head as he leaned closer, gently touched his lips to hers, once, then again.

Zoey sat stiffly, emotion running through her, fear running through her.

"Zo," Sam whispered against her lips. She relaxed against him, one of her hands going up to his hair, the other resting between them on his chest, as he deepened the kiss.

He should stop, Sam thought even as he began the kiss. And then Zoey was pressed against him and her hand in his hair was pulling him closer to her and all thought of stopping faded away.

If was several minutes before Sam pulled back, but he didn't release her. He met her eyes, he saw dazed confusion in them, he saw shock, but he didn't see fear. He leaned in, kissed her forehead, the corner of her eye. "I shouldn't have done that." His hand was moving up and down on Zoey's back. "I shouldn't be here."

"Don't leave Sam, please."

He pressed her head against his chest, trying to talk himself into doing the right thing. Trying to convince himself that he should go even as he knew that that wasn't going to happen. Not when Zoey was asking him to stay. Before yesterday he'd never imagined that he'd be here with Zoey like this. He'd never imagined that he be kissing the President's daughter. He'd never even imagined that he'd want to. Yet now he couldn't imagine not wanting to kiss her, not wanting his arms around her, not wanting to take away all of the hurt that he could still see in her eyes.

He caressed her hair and her back. "I should apologize but I'm not going to. I should tell you that it won't happen again, that I won't let it. I'm not going to lie to you." He moved his hand around to cup her cheek, to lift her face so that he could meet her eyes, gauged how she was reacting to his words. "It's going to happen again Zoey."

"Is it?" she asked quietly.

"This and more. And Zoey, eventually you're going to trust me enough to share that nightmare with me, trust me to protect you from it."

She swallowed hard. "My parents…"

"They're not gonna be happy but they'll get over it."

She surprised him by laughing. "Really? They still don't particularly like Doug and he and Liz have been married for fifteen years."

He grinned. "I don't blame them." He dropped another kiss to her forehead. "I better go before I change my mind and don't let this end for now. Try to eat something." He pulled his wallet out and flipped through it until he found a card. He jotted something on the back and handed it to her. "That's my hotel and my room number. Call, Zoey."

She nodded silently.

"If you don't call me, I'll be calling you soon." And he was gone.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Pain (3?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine and never will be.

Rating: R

Pairing: Sam/Zoey

Spoilers: Everything is fair game but there's emphasis on the kidnapping arc.

Author's Notes: This story contains past sexual abuse.

Thanks to my betas for all of their help!

'''''''''''''''''''

"Sam!"

Sam froze and then slowly turned to face the President. The older man was smiling at him. "Hello, Mr. President."

The President stepped out of the hallway he'd been in and moved closer to Sam. Sam glanced at the cane before moving his gaze back up to the President's face. Even after he'd learned of the President's MS, he'd somehow never thought he'd see Jed Bartlet have to use a cane, or for that matter a wheelchair or a walker.

During the campaign and the early years of the Administration the President had seemed invincible to him. As had Leo. He'd known they were much older than himself and the other members of the Senior Staff, yet he'd seen them both as the strongest people he knew, had ever known. He'd trusted them and admired them unconditionally. Human frailties were not things he'd expected either of them to succumb to. And then he'd found out how innocent and naïve he was. He'd learned of Leo's past addictions and of the President's MS. And yet as hurt and disillusioned as he'd been he'd still trusted them implicitly and admired them greatly.

Disappointing or upsetting either the President or Leo had been was of the biggest things he'd strived to avoid. A week ago he would have said that he'd never do anything to upset the President. Now he had. And he didn't care what the President thought about it when he found out. That surprised even him.

"What brings you here?"

"To the White House?"

"And to my Residence."

"I stopped by to see CJ a while ago. While I was here I came up to see Zoey."

"Zoey?" The President said, an eyebrow going up in surprise.

"We spoke briefly at the wake yesterday," Sam explained. "Zoey mentioned my book and I promised her I'd get her a sneak peek at the next one. I needed her email address so that I could send it to her."

"Ah." The President started walking again and Sam followed behind. In a sitting room the President sat down in an armchair and gestured for Sam to take the chair opposite him. "Were you planning on visiting me while you were here?"

"I thought you'd be too busy Sir."

The President glared at him. "I make time for my friends."

Sam swallowed, suddenly slightly guilty over what he knew the President would see as a betrayal. The guilt quickly faded, he wasn't doing anything wrong. "Thank you Sir, for considering me a friend. I'm honored."

"I'm surprised that you're still in DC."

The guilt was back. Not over the feelings that were rapidly developing for Zoey or for kissing her but for keeping them from the President. For not telling the President anything that was going on.

The President and First Lady needed to know how Zoey was really doing. After the nightmare last night they probably had suspicions but they couldn't know how bad it was. But by telling them he'd be breaking his promise to Zoey and he wouldn't do that.

Later this was one of the many things they'd be angry with him over, he knew, but that couldn't be helped.

"So am I. I hadn't planned to be." He shrugged. "But somehow I haven't been able to leave."

"Drawn to DC, to politics."

"I'm not sure about that Mr. President. I walked away from politics and didn't look back."

"You didn't miss it?"

Sam hesitated. He hadn't missed the manipulation or the wheeling and dealing. He hadn't missed the agendas or constantly having the important things pushed aside or negotiated to death. But he'd missed the few big victories and the exhilaration that had come with them. He'd missed the feeling of knowing you'd been part of something that helped millions of people. "I miss the good parts but not as much as I'm relieved to be away from the bad parts. Josh offered me his DCoS. I didn't take it."

President Bartlet studied him carefully. Sam had always been a confident, self-assured man but both of the qualities had grown. Sam had been content, happy, during the campaign and the first couple of years in office but that had faded. It was back, evident in Sam's eyes and in the relaxed set of Sam's face. "I told you once that you were destined for great things. I meant political office but you have a gift for writing, Sam, and you use it well."

Sam barely kept himself from blinking. Just like that he had the President's blessing to stay away from politics. He wasn't sure why it mattered so much. He'd already made his decision and wouldn't have changed it no matter what the President said. But it did matter. "Thank you."

"Tell Joshua that by Presidential decree he is not to harass you over this."

Sam smiled. "I'll pass that on Sir."

"Do that. I expect an autographed copy of the next book when it comes out. I'm going to have much more free time coming up soon. There's one thing I'd like to do with some of that time, that I'd like your help with."

"What's that?"

The President was not going to be rushed. "I think that there is one thing that every former President needs."

"A Presidential Library?"

"That too."

"An official portrait?"

Bartlet waved his hand dismissively. "I was referring to a biography." He met Sam's eyes. "I'd like for you to write mine."

"Are you sure that you don't want a professional biographer?"

"I want someone who knows me Sam. Someone who knew my Administration. You're that person. This isn't a whim. I've thought about it and I'm offering you the job."

"I'm honored Sir."

"That's not what I want to hear. What I want to hear is that you'll do it. And for a few more weeks I still get to hear what I want to hear." He chuckled and Sam joined him.

"May I think about it and get back to you?"

"You may." The President stood. "And now I have to get back to running the country. I'll talk with you soon Sam."

''''''''''''''''''''

Sam sat on the steps of the monument, watching the tourists go by. Even after years away from DC he thought of them as tourists and himself as a regular.

He'd almost gone back to his hotel room but it was too nice a day for that. It was cold, as it always was in DC in the middle of November, but there was no wind and it wasn't snowing. This was one thing he'd missed while he was living in California. In most of Southern California there was no winter, not like there was in most of the country. While he was melting in July with his air conditioner on, he'd wished for a DC January.

A young child ran past, nearly tripping on Sam's feet. The mother hurried after her son, stopping long enough to shoot Sam an apologetic smile. She was about Zoey's age and Sam tried to picture Zoey like that, with a soft smile warming her eyes, chasing after a toddler.

The woman was lifting the child onto her hip now, tickling him, and laughing with him. She seemed at ease and carefree. He couldn't picture her as Zoey. Couldn't erase the shadows in Zoey's eyes and under them, even in his own mind. Couldn't see Zoey with the soft rosy cheeks, bright from the chill.

He didn't know if Zoey would ever get to the point where she could play like that, let herself go without worrying about what could happen a minute later or an hour later. Without glancing around every couple of minutes as he'd seen her do the day before, as if there was always someone waiting to get her. And that filled him with rage. More rage then he'd ever felt.

The government had only caught two of her kidnappers, both teenage kids. They'd searched for others but had never found them. He'd watched the coverage on TV in the weeks following Zoey's recovery. "Safe recovery" the news reporters had said, giving the cameras relieved smiles. He wondered if those same people could refer to it as "safe" after seeing her as he had.

She wasn't safe, hadn't been safe since the night they took her from that nightclub. They lived in her nightmares and in her daily thoughts, terrorizing her.

He pictured Zoey cringing at his touch. He saw the stark, blind fear in her eyes. The fear that had told him that it wasn't him she was seeing, feeling. Sam's hands clenched at his sides. He knew without her telling him what her nightmares were about, or at least some of the nightmares.

He had no proof that he was right. Wished that there was some way that he wasn't even as he knew that he was.

They'd raped her. He flinched as he finally silently put it into words. Her parents didn't know, of that he was also positive. The two boys who'd been caught would no longer be alive if the President knew what they'd done or allowed to be done to his baby.

How she'd survived this long without a breakdown he didn't know. Josh had blown up after less than a year but Zoey hadn't allowed herself to. She's kept it all inside, locked away where it couldn't hurt her parents, her sisters. Even as he felt a surge of pride at her for caring enough to do that, he knew that it would have been much better for her if she hadn't.

He stood up, started walking.

He'd had all he could do to leave Zoey's room when he had. Kissing her hadn't been planned. When he'd gone to her room to see her he'd hadn't planned to do anything but try to convince her to see a psychologist. He'd ordered himself not to touch her and to get out of there as soon as possible.

And then, he'd touched her. Kissed her. Basically made the split second decision to have a relationship with her.

Part of his mind screamed that he should regret it. He stopped, looking up at the clear sky as he felt Zoey's soft cheek under his hand, felt her mouth as it had opened under his, saw the dazed expression that had replaced the fear in her eyes. He couldn't regret it.

He began walking again, toward his hotel. He had calls he needed to make. His agent, the kennel that was watching his dog, needed to know that he was going to be here a while.

''''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey took a bite of the chicken salad sandwich her mother had brought to her. She had no idea how she was going to eat even a quarter of the food that filled the tray her mother had brought but she didn't want to worry her mother more than she already had and she'd promised Sam that she'd eat something.

Abbey smiled approvingly as her daughter took a second bite. She lounged back in her chair. "They brought Mrs. Santos by for her first tour of the Residence today. You were still napping so I didn't show her this room."

Zoey had met Mrs. Santos once at a campaign event and at Leo's funeral. She tried to picture the woman's face as she saw the Residence for the first time. "Did her mouth drop open?"

Abbey chuckled. "Not as much as yours did when we moved in."

"I was fifteen," Zoey defended with a smile.

"She told the staff they should hide the artwork or put it up high if they didn't want jelly covered hands to touch it. I think she's still a bit overwhelmed. Peter and Miranda were the opposite. They wanted to play a game of hide and seek."

"We did that once." Abbey arched an eyebrow in question and Zoey went on. "A couple of months after we moved in Liz and Doug brought Annie and the baby to visit. Annie wanted to play a game of hide and seek so we went down to the West Wing to enlist anyone we could."

"Who did you end up getting?"

"A couple of interns, Sam, Donna, Carol and CJ. Josh was in a meeting and we didn't have the guts to ask Toby. We made up ground rules as to which areas we could use and then played Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who was 'it'." Her smile turned to a grin and she absently finished her sandwich. "Sam ended up as 'it' because he cheated. Instead of a rock, paper, or scissors, he tried to use fire. Said fire trumped everything."

"Did he find you?" Abbey was amazed at the transformation her daughter had undergone. This morning she had been afraid to leave Zoey to go to her meetings and now her daughter was grinning and animated.

Zoey laughed, her eyes shining. "Do you know how hard it is to hide, I mean really hide well, when you have Secret Service agents? Even with all of the agents stationed around my agents wouldn't duck out of sight for five minutes. Annie was really annoyed at her detail for causing her to lose." The smile faded from her face. "We were so naïve. The security, the safety precautions were just the governments way of keeping us from having fun."

"You were just a teenager and Annie a child, you were supposed to be naïve Zoey."

"Even once I was older, even after Daddy told me why all of the security was necessary and important I didn't take it seriously. If I had…"

"Don't. Don't play 'what if'." She was silent for several seconds, watching Zoey play with her straw like she had when she was a child. "I played the game for a while after you were found, 'what if I had done this' or 'Jed hadn't done that'. But I realized after a while that no matter how often I did that, no matter what conclusions I came to or who I decided to blame, nothing changed."

Zoey drained the glass before speaking again. "Carol won the game. She hid in a dumbwaiter in the kitchen. Sam looked in the kitchen, he even asked the staff if anyone was hiding in there. They didn't tell him."

Abbey held back her sigh. Zoey always used aversion tactics when she tried to talk to her about what had happened. Short of tying Zoey to a chair and forcing her to talk she didn't know how to have this conversation with Zoey. "Are you going to eat your salad? You need the vitamins and minerals."

"Always a doctor." Zoey rolled her eyes but she gave her mother a small smile.

"After all those years of medical school, internship, residency? Always."

Once her mother had gone Zoey crossed the room to her bed. She needed a nap and usually it was easier for her to sleep during the daylight.

She slipped her sneakers off but didn't change out of the jeans and t-shirt she was wearing.

She closed her eyes, forced them to stay shut when the first image came. The images invariably came every time she closed her eyes. Sam, she thought, forcing herself to picture him instead.

When she'd heard the knock at the door earlier, she'd thought it was one of her parents until she'd heard the steward's voice and then she'd thought, maybe a doctor sent by her parents. Sam was the last person she'd expected.

He'd been nice the day before, interested and concerned, but she'd still expected him to be on the first flight to Southern California this morning. There was no reason for Sam to help her, to kiss her, to be interested in her. Yet, apparently he was.

He had everything going for him; a successful career, looks, personality. He could have any woman he wanted. She was nuts and he knew it. He knew about all of her baggage. And he still wanted her. It was going to take Zoey a while to get used to that.

She wasn't sure who'd been more surprised by the kiss, him or her. Probably her. Not just surprised by the fact that he'd kissed her but surprised by her reaction. Surprised that she'd allowed it. It had been three years since she'd allowed a man to kiss her. She'd liked it, she hadn't expected to but she had.

On that thought she was drifting off to sleep, lulled by the picture of Sam in her mind and by the feeling of his lips on hers.

One of her hands was twisted in Sam's hair, the other was at the nape of his neck, trying to pull him as close to her as possible.

Sam slipped a hand under her shirt, running it up her back, his fingers against her spine making her shiver. And then his hand was moving across her side to cup her breast, his thumb teasing her nipple through the lace of her bra.

He was pushing her back until she was laying on the soft, thick carpet and he was above her, his blue eyes dark and deep. And then the eyes above her changed. They were brown, not blue, and cold, so cold.

Zoey struggled to sit up but the hand on her chest shoved her down. She tried to scream but a hand was suddenly clamped over her mouth. The taste, the smell… A shudder went through her. The taste of his hand and the smell of his breath were overpowering her but she couldn't gag. If she gagged, she'd choke.

His was moving closer, his face was inches from hers. His hand was gone from her mouth, his mouth replacing it, the pressure of his lips harsh and bruising.

One of his hands caught both of her wrists as they went up to claw at his face and shoved them down next to her head. She was no longer lying on the thick carpet in her bedroom but on a dingy mattress in a warehouse.

Her shirt ripped and a scream tore up her throat.

Zoey's eyes flew open. She reached out, feeling for the bed beneath her. Once she found it, found the quilt her grandmother had made for her when she was a child, assured herself of where she was, she relaxed against her pillows.

She reached up to wipe at her face. She'd bitten her lip so hard that it bled and tears had soaked her cheeks. She rolled to her side and drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around them.

The dreams, or memories, just wouldn't leave her alone. They were coming so often now, like they had at first. She just wanted to get rid of them, make them leave her alone.

This nightmare hadn't been as bad as some of them were. She'd woken up before it had gotten really bad. Last night she hadn't been so lucky. That one had been so vivid, so real, that even after she woke up she hadn't been able to convince herself that she was safe, that it hadn't been happening then.

She held her legs tighter, rocking slightly forward. What was wrong with her? They were just nightmares. They shouldn't have power over her like this. They were in her head, she should be able to control them. But she couldn't. She had no control over any of this. Hadn't had control over anything since that night. And that scared her.

'''''''''''''''''''

Sam accepted the towel and bottle of water from the attendant with an appreciative smile.

He wiped the sweat from his face and took a drink from the bottle.

He'd just spent half an hour in the hotel gym. Workouts were one thing he'd gotten back into after moving back to California. During his time in the White House he'd considered himself lucky if he got to spend a half-hour once or twice a month at the gym. Now, he was at the gym nearly every day. He considered the workouts to be a very good de-stressor and a much healthier vice than smoking or drinking.

He tossed the towel in a hamper and strode toward the door. It was close to dinner time. Part of him wanted to call Zoey, have dinner with her, but the other part, the larger part debated that that probably wasn't the best idea. He really should give her a little bit of a break. She was going through a lot and he didn't want to put her under more pressure. He should let her sort out her thoughts and feelings on what was happening between them.

He used the key card to let himself into his room and tossed the water bottle onto the bed.

On the other hand with all that was going on, checking in with her could be a good idea. He could always gage her reaction to his call and decide by it if he should ask her to have dinner with him. That was if he could even get through. If he called the White House and asked for Zoey Bartlet they'd probably attribute it to a prank call and hang up. She had a private number and a cell but he hadn't thought to get either of them from her earlier.

Finally, he took out his cell phone and punched in a number he did know.

"Josh Lyman's phone."

"Donna, this Sam."

"Hi Sam. Josh told me you're going to be in town for a while. Josh was going to call you in a while. We were thinking of getting a small group together for dinner tomorrow night, barring a national crisis."

"Sounds fun."

"Great. I'll let you know the details tonight or tomorrow."

"Okay. Is Josh available?"

"No, he isn't. I can have him call you back."

"You're on his cell phone," Sam pointed out. "He's never far from that thing." There was silence on the other end of the line for several seconds.

"He's in the shower. And if you tell anyone about this I'll kill you."

Sam chuckled. "Good for you guys. And Donna, you sounded very much like CJ there with that death threat. I was calling to see if I could get a phone number from Josh."

"I can probably get it. Who for?"

"Zoey Bartlet. Her private line or her cell." Again there was silence on the other end of the line before Donna replied.

"They're probably in his address book on the phone. Hold on a sec." A minute passed and she came back on the line. "Okay, her number is 555-2121. That's for her private line at the White House. Do you want her cell number too?"

"Sure."

She recited the number. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful." She hung up and he held the phone for several seconds wondering what she'd meant. She couldn't possibly know about his feelings for Zoey or about what had been happening, could she?

He punched in the first number that she'd given him. It rang several times and just as he was about to give up and hang up, Zoey answered.

"Hello?"

She sounded breathless, her voice high pitched and strained as if she'd been crying or on the verge of hysteria. "Zoey, what's going on?"

"Sam." She sounded so relieved.

He sat on the edge of his bed. "Are you okay?"

She hesitated a few seconds longer than he was comfortable with before answering. "Uh huh."

"I was going to suggest going out for dinner." He heard her quickly indrawn breath and could almost see her wince at thought of a public place. "Why don't you come here, to the hotel. I'll order room service," he said.

Again, she hesitated for several seconds. "Okay," she replied softly.

'''''''''''''''''''''


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Pain (4?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine and never will be.

Rating: Young Teen

Pairings: Sam/Zoey, minor Josh/Donna

Spoilers: The entire series is fair game but there's specific emphasis on the kidnapping and Leo's death.

Author's Notes: Thanks to Abbie and Anakam for beta reading this story for me! I really appreciate all of your suggestions and the work that both of you have put into helping me with this!

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey splashed cold water on her face and ran her brush through her hair a few times. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. This was as good as it was going to get. Her eyes were still red and puffy but there wasn't anything she could do to change that. Maybe by the time she got to Sam's the puffiness would have eased.

She grabbed her purse off of her bed and headed for the door. She was going to have dinner with Sam. She didn't know if she was more excited, nervous, or scared. This was, in effect, her first date with Sam.

When had her last date been? She thought about it but couldn't remember for sure. It had been a while. A year? Two? She'd gone out since the kidnapping but not very many times and never with the same man more than once or twice.

It never took guys long to figure out her emotional problems. To figure out that she wasn't normal anymore, that a sudden move or noise could freak her out. That she didn't do well in the normal date places like clubs, movie theaters, even restaurants. And then she never heard from them again.

Sam knew about her baggage, more so than any of the other guys, and he still wanted a relationship with her. For now at least. She wasn't delusional. He would get tired of it, of her irrational feelings and thoughts, of her aversion to public places and crowds. And that would be it. He'd tell her he had to get back to California but that he'd call her. He wouldn't call.

She shouldn't even be going right now. She shouldn't put herself through this. But when he'd called, when she'd answered the phone and heard his voice, it had been so soothing. Instantly, she'd felt so much better. When he'd suggested that they have dinner together, she hadn't been able to say no. There was just something about Sam. It had always been there, she'd noticed it the first time she met him when she was in her teens. But now, toward her, it was more pronounced. His voice and touch had a way of calming her. She wasn't even sure he was aware of it.

She made it out to her car and let out a shallow breath. She'd been afraid that her parents would see her leaving and want to know where she was going. She would have had to lie to them. In the last few years she'd lied to them enough, blatantly or by omission. She hated it.

She got into the backseat of the car. One of her agents would be driving.

They would be having dinner in Sam's room. Somehow he'd picked up on her feelings about restaurants, about being in public. At least, she thought he had. He'd originally suggested that they go out but had quickly amended the suggestion.

She was glad they weren't going to be in a large crowd but she wasn't sure staying at his hotel room was much better. This was Sam Seaborn, she reminded herself. But he was still a guy, came the quick whisper in her mind. He'd kissed her earlier and she hadn't resisted.

Her response to that kiss had surprised her. Her response to his touch surprised her. Gone was the revulsion she'd felt when the other guys she'd been out with in the last few years had kissed her, touched her face or her hair. The bile that she was so used to feeling rise in her throat hadn't come earlier today in her room with Sam.

But would it stay that way if he tried something more? Even if he tried to kiss her again the reactions she was so used to could come back. She wasn't sure how she could stand it if that happened. If that happened she could lose him completely, even as a friend. He'd think that she was leading him on, that she was a tease.

A tear ran down her cheek and she roughly wiped it away. Something like that would eventually happen and when it did she couldn't let it hurt her. She couldn't let it have the power to destroy her.

The car pulled to a stop outside of the hotel and one of Zoey's agents opened the door. She sent the woman a small smile and climbed out. They took the elevator up and found the room that Sam had written on the card.

Sam pulled the door open mere seconds after she knocked. He gave her the dazzling smile she remembered from the first time she met him and moved aside to allow one of her agents to enter the room to check it.

He was wearing a pair of casual khaki slacks and a knit shirt, open at the collar. She was glad that she'd chosen to dress casually instead of wearing the silk dress she'd briefly considered.

Sam took Zoey in visually. Her hair hung loose with clips keeping it out of her face. She wore a pair of jeans that he was sure were supposed to fit snugly but which were a little loose on her frame. With the jeans, she wore a blue blouse that matched her eye color perfectly.

The agent stepped out of the room and nodded at her partner. "The room's clear."

"Thanks," Zoey said, allowing Sam to lead her inside. The door clicked shut and she wasn't able to hold back a wince.

"Zo, is something wrong?"

She shook her head quickly. "No. I'm fine."

He let it pass for now. Her eyes were swollen, the rings beneath them even more pronounced. She'd been crying, pretty hard was his guess.

He gestured for her to sit down on the sofa. "Would you like something to drink? I have sparkling water, soda, orange juice."

Zoey raised an eyebrow. "You keep orange juice on hand?"

"I have it for breakfast every morning. It's healthier than coffee."

"Ah. Sparkling water would be great."

Sam went to the mini bar and grabbed two bottles, tossed one to her. "All I have are disposable glasses." He smiled apologetically.

"It's fine."

He took the seat beside her on the sofa, careful not to sit too close to her. "Would you like to order room service now or wait a little while?"

"Wait, please. I'm not really hungry." Before he could say anything, she went on. "I did eat something earlier. My mom brought a whole plate of food in an hour after you left and I ate most of it."

"Good." He reached out to rest his hand on her left cheek, gently running his thumb along the area directly under her eye. "You were crying."

She closed her eyes but didn't pull away from him.

"When I called, I thought you sounded like you had been crying."

"I tried to take a nap," she whispered.

"And you had another nightmare," he surmised softly. What had happened earlier in the afternoon hung in his mind. He didn't want to cause her more pain like he had then but he also didn't know if he could ignore what she'd told him.

"Yes."

He moved his hand down her face, her neck, her shoulder, watching her face the whole time, studying her for any sign of fear. Finally he reached her hand, turning it over so that he could caress her palm with his thumb. "When was the last time you saw a therapist Zoey?"

"I was seeing one but I stopped… a year after…" She opened her eyes, found his. "It wasn't helping Sam. I didn't even feel like I could talk to her."

"Did she know everything?"

She swallowed. "Everything?"

"Everything, Zo," he said gently. "The nightmares, the cause of them." He watched the little bit of color she had drain from her face and wondered if he'd gone too far, too fast. If she wasn't ready to confront it, wasn't ready for him to know, should he pretend he hadn't figured it out?

She was trembling again and a tear escaped to run down her cheek.

Sam threaded both hands through her hair and forced her face to stay up. "Zoey, look at me. Don't give them the power to control you, not now. You're safe."

She bit down on her lip, nodding into his hands. "She didn't know everything," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Have you thought about seeing another therapist?" She shook her head and he went on. "I think it's time. You're not going to get better without help."

It was several seconds before she spoke. "When I was going before I was afraid of what she'd say to my parents." She swallowed. "I don't want them to know Sam."

Sam let his hands drop from her chin and slid one around to the back of her head. He pulled Zoey forward until her head was against his chest. "A doctor can't tell anyone anything without your permission."

"Daddy's the President."

"That doesn't change the law. If you want me to, I can go to your first appointment with you and remind your doctor of doctor patient confidentiality." He felt her nod against his chest.

"If you come, will you stay?" She went on quickly. "I don't… not in the room. I don't think I can do that yet." She lifted her head to look up at his face, into his eyes. "But at the place, in case I need you?"

Sam stared into Zoey's eyes. They were wide and glistening with unshed tears. He saw the fear and the pain that he was quickly getting used to seeing in their depths. But he also saw hope. For the first time he was convinced that she'd get better, even if it took a while.

His voice was husky when he spoke. "Whatever you want. I'll do whatever you ask Zoey."

She laid her head back against his chest and allowed her eyes to drop closed. "Thank you."

He stroked his hand down her hair. He'd already discovered that he couldn't get enough of touching her. He loved the softness of her skin, the silkiness of her hair. "You don't have to keep thanking me. I'm not doing this for gratitude. I'm doing it…" He trailed off, trying to figure what to say, how best to describe it or if he even should. He was doing all of this because he couldn't stop himself. He was doing it because when he'd seen her again the day before, when he'd looked into her eyes, that had been it, even though he'd tried to deny it to himself. He couldn't stop helping Zoey, being around Zoey, anymore than he could stop craving air and water.

Even now he knew that the smart thing to do would be to fight it but he was way past that point. He'd been past that point since he saw her in the garden after Leo's funeral the day before, he silently admitted.

"Zoey?" When she didn't reply, he shifted so that he could look down at her face. She was sound asleep.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

It was quiet. The Secret Service agents were in their posts outside and around the Residence but no one else seemed to be around.

She'd expected nothing else. It was four am and there wasn't currently a national or international crisis. Her father took his sleep when he could get it.

She walked down the hall toward her bedroom with her detail following. She'd fallen asleep. For the first time in months she'd fallen into a deep sleep in just minutes. And for the first time in a long time she hadn't had a nightmare.

It had been hours before she'd woken up. Sam had shifted them so that they were both lying on their sides on the sofa and she was cuddled against him.

She'd apologized but Sam had smiled and said that a few more evenings like that one and the rings under her eyes would be gone.

"Zoey?"

She froze. So much for sneaking in. She slowly turned her head to see her mother standing in the doorway to the Residence kitchen wearing her robe.

"I made some tea when the agents notified me that you were on your way in."

Zoey followed her mother into the kitchen. She should have known. In her teens, she'd tried to sneak in to the house in Manchester a few times and a couple of times she'd even tried to sneak out of a hotel on the campaign trail. Her mother always caught her. Always.

Abbey poured a mug of tea for each of them and took a seat at the table, indicating for Zoey to sit across from her. "I was concerned when I couldn't find you earlier."

"I met a friend for dinner."

Abbey raised an eyebrow. "It's after four am. Surely it couldn't have taken you that long to eat."

Zoey shrugged.

"Who did you meet?"

"Does it matter? I'm an adult." Zoey held back a wince at the defensive tone of her voice.

"Honey, your father and I were concerned when we realized that you weren't here. We thought the three of us could have dinner together."

"I'm sorry you were worried. I didn't realize that I have to give you a schedule of my activities." Zoey saw the look of shock and hurt go over her mother's face. "I'm sorry Mom, for snapping at you. I would have let you know that I was going out but I didn't know until a few minutes before I left."

Abbey took a sip of her tea. "I know you didn't mean to snap at me Zoey."

"I would have been home earlier but I fell asleep." She gave a self-deprecating smile.

Abbey blinked. "You fell asleep?"

"Yep."

"I must say, I really am curious to know who you were with."

Zoey hesitated. If she told her mother her father would know by morning. Abbey would probably react pretty badly to the idea that she was dating Sam Seaborn but her father…. She didn't even want to consider what her father's reaction would be.

They'd list the reasons a relationship between herself and Sam couldn't work. Reasons she was already very aware of. The close to twenty year age difference. The fact that she and Sam lived on separate coasts. She was still in graduate school, Sam had been out of school half of her life.

Yet, she knew how tenacious her mother could be. Her mother wasn't going to let her get away with not telling her. It would be easier not to fight the inevitable.

"I had dinner with Sam."

"Sam?"

"Sam Seaborn."

They sat in silence for a full minute while the First Lady digested that information. "Your father told me that Sam stopped by to see you earlier today."

Zoey held her mother's gaze but said nothing.

"You had dinner with a man twice your age and didn't get home until the early hours of the morning. Do you know how that would look to the press?"

"The press doesn't know and I really don't care what they would think if they did know. My life is my business, no one else's."

She'd always felt that she knew her daughter well. Since Zoey was a toddler she'd known the girl's dreams and goals, her likes and dislikes, and her crushes. During Jed's first campaign Zoey had had a fierce crush on Sam. Abbey was pretty sure that her daughter didn't realize that she knew.

Even since the kidnapping Abbey had felt confident that she knew Zoey but in the last few days, she'd wondered if she might have been wrong. Until last night she hadn't known that Zoey was having nightmares.

Today, she'd studied her daughter while Zoey ate and reminisced about a game of White House hide-and-go-seek. She noticed the things that she'd previously missed. The rings under Zoey's eyes, enhanced by lack of sleep. The gauntness of Zoey's cheeks and the pallor of her face. Her daughter was thin, perhaps dangerously so.

She was a doctor and Zoey's mother but she hadn't noticed any of those things until today. She'd also noticed the light that came to Zoey's eyes when she spoke of Sam, and the relaxed posture of Zoey's body when she spoke of him.

Now to find out that not only had Sam come to visit Zoey today but that Zoey had had dinner with him? It was surprising for Abbey. Sam had always had a soft spot for Zoey. The entire Senior Staff and most of the Senior Assistants had always had a soft spot for Zoey. To Abbey's knowledge none of them had made a purposeful visit to the young woman or asked her out to dinner.

She liked Sam and respected him. Jed did as well. She knew that Jed wanted Sam to come stay in Manchester for a while and write Jed's biography. But the idea of Sam and her baby… During the time she'd known Sam he'd been out with more women than she could name. Most of them, particularly Mallory, still considered him to be a good friend, but still. She didn't want a casual, throw away romance for Zoey. With all that had happened in the last few years she wasn't sure that Zoey could handle something like that.

But if he could make her baby smile, if he could make light come to her eyes for the first time in so long maybe something between them wouldn't be so bad.

She brought her eyes back to Zoey's. "Is this what you want?"

"I feel good when I'm with Sam, safe."

And she needed that, Abbey added silently. "Then I support it. All that I want is your happiness. But Zoey, your father isn't going to support this. One of us has to tell him Zoey. I won't keep things from your father."

"I'll talk with him tomorrow."

"Good." Abbey stood. "And now I need to get some sleep. I have an appointment at 7:30." She walked around the table and laid her hand on Zoey's cheek. "I love you Baby."

"I love you too Mom."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Good morning Daddy."

Jed looked up from his breakfast to smile at his daughter. "Good morning sweetheart." He gestured to the counter. "There's oatmeal, sliced fresh fruit, toast, and bacon. Turkey, per your mother's orders." He grimaced.

Zoey got a glass of orange juice and a slice of toast and went to sit at the table with her father. She took a small bite of her toast. "I was hoping that I'd catch you before you went down to the Oval."

"Oh? Well you know I enjoy it when we're able to spend some time together. That's one of the things I regret most about the last eight years. I wasn't able to spend as much time as I'd like with my family. It'll be good to have more time to spend with all of you and to be able to get to know Annie and Gus. Do you realize that Gus has never known me when I wasn't the President?"

Zoey fiddled with her toast, tearing it into small pieces. "You know I went out last night?"

"Yes. Your mother told me when you got home. You had us both concerned Zoey. Your cell phone was off so we couldn't call you." He paused. "I thought about tracking you through the Secret Service."

"Daddy."

"I didn't actually do it." He didn't add that he would have tracked her, but his wife wouldn't let him.

"I was safe," she said softly.

He sighed. "I know."

She pushed the plate and the mangled bread laying on it, aside. "I'll let you and Mom know next time." She took a deep breath. "I had dinner with Sam." At the confused look on her father's face, Zoey went on. "Sam Seaborn."

"You had dinner with Sam Seaborn."

"Yes."

"You stayed out with him until the middle of the night."

"Yes."

"May I ask why?"

She held her father's gaze. She'd been up since her discussion with her mother, sitting in her room trying to decide how much to say to her father. She'd decided that what she didn't tell him now, he'd find out later. "It was a date Daddy."

Jed stared at her for several moments. "Was that why he was here yesterday morning?"

"He came to see me yesterday morning because he was concerned about me after Leo's funeral."

"And he asked you to have dinner with him," Jed surmised. "You were with him until the middle of the night. Where did you and Sam go Zoey? Most restaurants are closed by four am."

"We had room service in Sam's hotel room." She saw the anger building on her father's face and quickly went on. "I wouldn't have been there that long but I fell asleep."

"You fell asleep," Jed repeated. "You fell asleep in the hotel room of a man twice your age, while on a date with him."

"It wasn't… it wasn't how it sounded. You know I haven't been sleeping well."

"He isn't good for you Zoey. He's a lot more experience than you are sweetheart. He's using you."

"We're not talking about some random guy I just met. We're talking about Sam Seaborn. We've known him for years. Do you really think that he would use anyone?" She stood up. "The relationship just began but I care about him Daddy. I'm going to see him regardless of your opinion but I'd rather you support me."

After his daughter had gone, Jed stood and went down to the Oval Office. He called his secretary into the room. "Get Sam Seaborn here for me, Debbie."

"Yes, Mr. President."

''''''''''''''''''''''''


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Pain (5?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: Teen

Spoilers: The story deals heavily with the kidnapping but the entire series is fair game.

Pairings: Sam/Zoey, Jed/Abbey, minor Josh/Donna

Author's Notes: This story deals with sexual assault. Most of the chapters aren't graphic but if you are sensitive to this subject you may not want to read this story.

Thanks to Abbie and Anakam for beta reading this story for me!

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey walked quickly to her room. If she knew her father he'd have Sam here within the hour.

Years before, when she was barely old enough to date, she and Ellie had commiserated on their father and his behavior toward the guys they dated. Jed never approved of anyone interested in his daughters, they were simply never good enough for the girls. He'd glower at them, interrogate them, and bombard them with obscure trivia. The one thing that had made it easier for them was that his attention was divided between them and their boyfriends. Now, with Ellie married, Jed's over protectiveness was directed solely at Zoey.

She'd dated worse than Sam, and once her father calmed down, he'd realize that. Names came to mind of the spoiled sons of state and national politicians. Rich kids who'd felt they were entitled to whatever they wished because of who Daddy was. In her last year of high school and in college there were guys who had been interested in dating the First Daughter, not in dating Zoey Bartlet, guys whose minds had swam with all of the things they'd thought her father could do for them.

And then there had been Jean Paul. Handsome, royal, and charming. Everything a girl could possibly want, she'd thought. It had taken her months to realize that he had a drug problem, months to admit just how verbally and emotionally abusive he was to her. Even then she'd stayed with him. He was a Prince and she was an American Princess. If she dumped him people would talk.

People had talked. She was kidnapped and he was hospitalized, out of his mind with the drugs he'd consumed that night. Once she was recovered, he'd been deported to France and she'd never seen him again.

Once her father considered all of that, his objections to Sam would seem irrational even to him. Or so she hoped.

She quietly closed her bedroom door behind her and crossed the room to pick up the phone. The card with Sam's numbers on it lay on the stand. She dialed Sam's cell number and waited impatiently for him to answer.

"Sam Seaborn."

"It's Zoey. My Dad knows."

"So, I'll be hearing from him soon."

"I'm sorry Sam. I doubt you've had to deal with a girl's father and his reaction to your relationship since you were a kid. This isn't fair to you. You deserve better than to date some insane kid with an overprotective father."

"First, you aren't a kid Zoey. Second, don't you think I should get to decide what is fair to me and what I deserve? I don't care how protective your father is, I can deal with it. And you aren't insane Zo. Everything you've gone through… it's a wonder you haven't had a complete melt down. We can work through all of that." He paused for several seconds. "I care about you Zoey."

Zoey swallowed hard. "I don't deserve you but I'm so grateful that you came back into my life when you did." Without giving him time to respond, she hung up the phone.

''''''''''''''''''''''''

He'd been off the phone with Zoey for seconds, maybe a minute, when his phone rang again. Debbie had informed him that the President wanted to meet with him immediately.

How different this meeting would be from the one they'd had the day before. The President would no longer consider him a friend, that Sam was sure of. The man would feel betrayed by him.

Part of Sam wanted to feel guilty, as he had the day before but he was beyond that. In two days time he'd fallen for the President's daughter. It was surprising, it was fast and probably inadvisable, but it wasn't wrong. He refused to feel guilty for it.

He'd never felt this way before. Not with Lisa, Laurie, Mallory or any of the other women who had come through his life. He'd been attracted, he'd been infatuated, but he'd never before been utterly blindsided by a woman.

A week ago he would have said that he didn't want this to happen, that he was fine with his life the way it was. Now, nothing could make him go back and he could care less what the President thought or said.

He stepped into the outer office and smiled at Charlie. Debbie was on the phone.

"Are you here to see the President?"

"Yes. Debbie called me a little while ago."

"He told me that he was going to have you write his biography. Congratulations."

Sam gave a wry smile. "I'm not so sure that's going to happen."

"If President Bartlet has made the decision that you're going to write it, no amount of arguing from you will get him to change his mind." Charlie grinned.

"After today, I doubt he'll still want me to write the book."

Before Charlie could respond, Debbie hung the phone up. "I'll be with you in a minute Sam." She walked the few feet to the Oval. After close to a minute, she walked back to Sam. "The President will see you now."

"Thank you. Charlie, hopefully I'll see you again before I go."

"You will. Donna already asked me to join all of you for dinner tonight."

Sam nodded. "Great." He stepped in the Oval Office and closed the door behind him. The President stood behind his desk, glowering. "Mr. President."

"What the hell are you thinking?"

"Excuse me Sir?"

"I trusted you. Yesterday, when I found out that you'd come by to see Zoey, I thought nothing of it. I wasn't concerned that you were alone with her in her _bedroom. _And then to find out that you had my little girl come to your hotel room last night? That she stayed with you until the early hours of the morning?" He gave a derisive laugh. "You've been back in DC less than a week, and already you've gotten the President's daughter in bed. Tell me Sam, was that your goal all along? Did you fantasize about that the entire time you worked for me?"

Sam took a deep breath. His hands were clenched at his sides but he stayed frozen where he stood. "My relationship with Zoey is none of your business Mr. President. I'd appreciate it if you stopped using the term 'little girl' to make our relationship sound inappropriate. It isn't. Zoey is twenty-four."

"You're not good for her. You aren't what she needs. Can't you understand that?"

Sam gave a harsh laugh. "You're telling me what's good for her? You act as if you know your daughter Mr. President. You know nothing about Zoey." He took a few steps closer to the President. "You've spent the last three years so absorbed in yourself, in this office, that you haven't notice your 'little girl' melting into herself. You say you know what she needs yet you haven't noticed that she's nearly a skeleton, you haven't noticed that there is close to zero color to her skin now. She barely sleeps, she's so scared of what they'll do to her in her nightmares, but you haven't noticed that either."

Both of the President's hands dropped onto the surface of his desk. He wanted to tell Sam that he was wrong and to order the man out of his office. Hell, he wanted to order Sam out of DC, out of the country.

He couldn't shove away the image of Zoey that had come to him as Sam had spoken. Sam was right about the weight loss, the lack of color. And God, the nightmares. The nightmares Zoey had had in the months following the kidnapping. The nightmares he had convinced himself were completely gone.

When he spoke his voice was hoarse. "What they'll do to her in her nightmares."

Sam watched the shock and then horror cross the older man's face. The President hadn't known. Somehow it either hadn't occurred to him, or in the last years he'd convinced himself that it hadn't happened.

"Get out of here!" He sank into his chair. "You can't be right. She would have told Abbey or I. The doctors would have told us."

"She didn't want you to know." Sam shoved his anger aside temporarily. The other issues were going to have to be dealt with but for now they weren't top priority. He forced his voice to be gentle. "She was trying to protect you."

"God. My baby. I had to be the President. I had to put her in danger, cause this to happen to her. She couldn't even tell me or her mother." He took a deep breath, looked up at Sam again. "Instead she turns to you. A man twice her age, who lives on the opposite coast."

Without invitation, Sam crossed the room to sit in the chair next to the President's desk. "It wasn't planned, Sir. When I came here, the idea of something happening between Zoey and I hadn't occurred to me. It had never occurred to me in all the years I worked for you. It just happened Mr. President, even though I fought it."

"You care about her," Jed said softly, wearily. If Sam had just been using her, if she was just some young thing to stroke his ego and keep him feeling young, it would be so much easier.

He could send the man away and not think twice. Maybe see about arranging for Sam to disappear. But Sam cared about Zoey, maybe even loved her, it was apparent on his face. And with all that Zoey had gone through and was still going through, he couldn't take away someone who had the power to help her.

"Yes," Sam agreed.

"I don't like it. I doubt I'll ever like it but if you can help Zoey where Abbey and I haven't been able to, haven't even known we needed to, I'm not going to try to stop you. Just don't hurt her Sam, don't cause her more pain."

"That's the last thing I would do." He stood back up. "If that's all Mr. President, I'd like to go check on Zoey. She was very concerned about this meeting."

"Go." After Sam had gone, Jed picked up one of the pictures on his desk. All three of the girls were laying out in the snow, arms flung out, making snow angels. Zoey couldn't have been more than four when the picture was taken. She was grinning, completely happy and at peace. Politics hadn't taken over her life yet, hadn't destroyed her life.

He traced his finger down her cheek in the picture. "When you were born, and when Ellie and Liz were born, all I wanted was perfection for you. A perfect home, perfect schools, perfect lives. Perfect parents. Instead, I didn't give you any of that. I thought that through politics I could fix a lot of the world's problems for you, instead I allowed it to destroy you. I'm so sorry baby."

'''''''''''''''''''''''

Sam made his way down the hall toward Zoey's room. This time he was unaccompanied. After they'd spoken earlier, Zoey had added Sam's name to the list of people who could visit the Residence.

He knocked lightly on her door before opening it and stepping inside. Zoey sat cross-legged on the middle on her bed with a small leather book on her lap and a pen in her hand. She was wearing a white t-shirt with Winnie-the-Pooh on the front and a pair of blue jeans. Her feet were bare. When the door opened, she looked up and met his eyes apprehensively.

God, she looked so young like that, Sam couldn't help thinking. She looked barely old enough to vote, if that old.

He pushed the thought aside and crossed the room to sit beside her. "He was pissed."

"Was?"

"He's calmed down quite a bit though he still isn't happy about our relationship. Now he's scared and worried."

Zoey closed the journal she'd been writing in and stretched to lay it on her nightstand, with the pen on top of it. She turned back to look at Sam. "If he's calmed down, why do you still look so concerned?"

"He knows about the assault Zoey."

"I… how could he?"

"I told him."

"You promised me you wouldn't. You promised that anything I told you would stay between us." She kept her gaze locked with his.

"I'm sorry Zoey. I didn't plan…"

She swallowed hard in an effort to get rid of the lump forming in her throat before interrupting him. "I was trying to learn to trust you Sam. Do you know how hard it is for me to trust? For me to believe that someone won't hurt me?" The tears she'd been fighting back spilled over.

"I'd never hurt you."

"If I can't trust you with one thing, how can I trust you with anything else?" She stood up, crossed her arms at her chest, hugging herself.

"I shouldn't have told him. But you have to believe that I didn't go in there planning on telling him, planning on betraying your trust. I was very angry at something he said and I couldn't stop myself from responding." He watched Zoey's face as he spoke. He saw the pain and the anger and knew that this time they were both his fault. He clenched his hands into fists so that his finger nails were biting into his palms and forced himself to stay seated even though he wanted desperately to touch her, to comfort her. "He was telling me what was good for you and what wasn't. I told him that he didn't know you and told him a little about you, about how you are now. I didn't mean to say anything that would let him know what happened during the time you were gone."

She wanted to stay mad at him. She wanted to rage, to throw things at him and scream at the top of her lungs. Anger felt so much better than helplessness. So much better than this rawness. "What now?" Her voice was so low that she barely heard herself.

Sam swallowed hard, relief filling him. He stood up and took the few steps to reach her. He gently took both of her hands and lifted them from her arms. Her fingers had been digging into the flesh of her arms so hard that he knew they were going to leave bruises. Gently, he traced the red marks that she'd left. "I'm sorry." He ran his hands up her arms, her shoulders, her neck, until her could cup her face. He pressed a kiss to her lips.

Zoey leaned into him, laying her head against his shoulder. "What now?" she asked again. "Is Daddy going to try to make me see that counselor again?"

"I don't know. From what he said and what he didn't say, I think he is going to try to stay back, give you room to deal with all of this in your way."

"I don't know what my way is," she whispered. "I've been trying but I don't know how to get better."

He placed his hand over her left breast, his eyes falling closed as he felt her heartbeat. "You do, in here. Just listen."

"I hate that my parents are going to have to be concerned about me now."

"They're your parents. They'll always be concerned about you, and about Ellie and Liz, even when there's no reason to be. Concern comes along with love."

They stood silently for a few minutes. "My dad will probably tell my mom," Zoey finally said. "Do you think I should tell Liz and Ellie?"

"What do you think?"

"I probably should. Eventually they'd somehow find out anyway." She tipped her head back to look up at him. "I'm going to wait until Christmas. We're all going up to the farm. I'd like it if you'd come with me."

"I'd love to Zoey," he said softly as he leaned in to kiss her again.

''''''''''''''''''''''

"At least now I know why he's not anxious to get back to California." Josh grinned, his dimples showing. "If she's from DC maybe I can use it to my advantage. He'll want a job close to her of course."

Donna rolled her eyes. "I knew you'd somehow manage to bring it back to the job."

"Do you have any idea who he's bringing?" Will asked the table at large.

"None," Josh said. "I called him to let him know what time to meet us here and he said he was bringing someone."

"So, he didn't actually use the term 'date'?"

"No."

Will raised an eyebrow. "Then why do you assume that's what it is?"

"He told me he isn't staying in town because of a job or politics. It has to be a woman. The fact that he's bringing someone and wouldn't tell me who it is just confirms it."

Kate glanced between Donna and CJ. "You two are being awfully quiet."

"Maybe we don't have anything to say?"

Josh nearly choked on his drink at Donna's remark. "You? With nothing to say?"

Charlie chuckled. "I think they both know who the woman is."

Donna grinned. "Maybe I do know."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"It was more fun to watch you whine about it." She looked at CJ. "What do you think?"

"Yes, it's definitely more fun to watch him whine."

"But why would he tell you two and not me?"

Donna patted his arm. "Joshua, my dear, he didn't have to tell us. We are women. Our observation powers are much greater than your own."

"Kate and Annabeth don't know who he's bringing," Will pointed out.

CJ gave him a look. "Kate and Annabeth don't know Sam."

"Uh, yeah."

"If you know then you can share now."

"Nice try Josh, I think not."

Before Josh could respond, Will spoke. "Uh, is that…"

"Zoey Bartlet," Kate said in surprise, following Will's gaze. "I didn't realize that she was a close friend of Sam's."

"Guess you guys were wrong about him bringing a date," Annabeth said a smile.

Sam had just stepped into the small restaurant with Zoey. The young woman looked slightly uncomfortable and was holding onto Sam's arm pretty tightly if CJ's guess was correct. Several agents stood near them.

"She is his date," Donna said quietly.

Josh, who had been staring at them, turned his attention to Donna. "_Zoey _is his _date?" _

"Wow," Will muttered.

"I wonder if the President knows," Kate said.

"And if so what he thinks about it," Annabeth added, staring at the couple making their way to the table.

Josh was glaring toward Sam and Zoey. "Trust me the President doesn't know or Sam wouldn't be alive."

"Shut up," Donna said quietly as she smiled and stood to greet Sam and Zoey. She gave Sam a hug and then moved to Zoey, who was looking even less sure of herself now that they'd reached the table. "It's wonderful to see you Zoey."

"And very much a surprise," CJ said with a glance at the rest of the table, before she too hugged Zoey.

"Sam didn't tell us who he was bringing or we would have chosen a nicer place," Kate said, misreading Zoey's unease. "Sometimes we like to meet somewhere like this so none of us will be recognized."

Zoey glanced around the place. It was a small, homey Italian restaurant. "It's fine." She gave a small smile. "Actually I kind of like it. It brings back memories."

"We used to escape to places like this during the President's first campaign," Donna explained to Kate, Will, Charlie, and Annabeth.

Sam seated Zoey and took his own spot beside her. He was relieved that Zoey was sitting between himself and CJ, that would make this easier for her. It had been hard to get her to agree to come. Not just because she didn't like being out in public but because she wasn't sure how Josh and the others would react to the idea of them dating. The old Zoey wouldn't have cared, but the Zoey that the kidnapping had created was ultra-sensitive.

Zoey took a sip of her water. She shouldn't have agreed to come. This wasn't just awkward for her, it was awkward for everyone here. Josh was scowling at Sam, and Zoey was pretty sure that it was only the restraining hand that Donna had quietly laid on his leg beneath the table that was keeping him from saying something. Will, Kate, and Annabeth, none of whom knew her well, were shifting awkwardly in their seats and glancing warily at the other members of the group. CJ was thoughtfully studying her and Sam, making Zoey want to squirm. Donna was trying to fill the silence by telling a story about the First Lady elect meeting George Clooney at a campaign benefit.

Zoey's gaze slid to Charlie. He'd met her gaze briefly when she'd arrived but since then his eyes had been on everyone and everything but her. Charlie was still in love with her. She'd known that for years. During her relationship with Jean-Paul she'd thought she might still have feelings for Charlie. She'd toyed with breaking up with Jean-Paul and giving a relationship with Charlie another chance. If the kidnapping hadn't happened, she probably would have done that.

Charlie had come with her family to see her after she'd been recovered. He'd practically lived in her hospital room for the few days she'd been hospitalized. He'd been there for her when she needed him and she knew he would continue to be for as long as she'd let him. But things had been awkward. They hadn't been able to talk like they'd always been able to before the shooting. During those first days, anytime anyone would mention what had happened, and they had a lot, she remembered with a wince, Charlie would withdraw. She'd see it in his eyes. She'd known then that any chance for them was gone.

In other circumstances she and Charlie would have been happy together, or at least could have been happy together. Hate stole the chance, twice.

Zoey's gaze moved to Sam. Maybe in this one way the hatred had done her a favor. If those two events, the two worse events of her life, hadn't happened she and Sam wouldn't have this chance. Maybe this was fates way of making up to her for all that had happened. Or fates way of telling her that things were going to get better.

"I've heard that you're in graduate school Zoey," Kate said.

Zoey smiled as if she'd been listening to whatever Donna had gotten them all discussing. "Yes, I am."

"What's your major?" Annabeth asked.

"Psychology."

Will chuckled. "You seem too normal to be a psychologist."

Zoey raised an eyebrow in question.

Will smiled. "I've heard it said that psychologists go into the field hoping to fix themselves."

Donna's eyes widened as she looked at Zoey to see how the girl was taking the statement. Will had, of course, been around during the months following Zoey's abduction but he was a new staff member, not quite part of the inner circle yet. He apparently hadn't known, or had forgotten, how bad it had gotten there for awhile.

Zoey bit down on the inside of her cheek. They were all watching her. Suddenly it felt like everyone in the restaurant was staring at her. She wanted so badly to laugh, to tell Will how close he'd gotten to the truth. But if she laughed she'd cry and Will hadn't meant anything by the statement.

"I shouldn't have said that," Will said into the silence. "I'm sorry Zoey. I didn't mean to imply anything."

She met his eyes and tried to smile but she knew it was a pathetic attempt.

"Zo," Sam said softly.

She heard the concern in his voice and met his eyes. "I'm fine," she said quietly. "I need to use the ladies' room. I'll be right back."

"Are you sure?"

She gave a small laugh but most of the people at the table could hear the strain in the laugh. "That I need to use the restroom? Of course I'm sure Sam." She stood up before he could reply. "I'll be right back."

"I'm sorry," Will said again as soon as she was gone. "I didn't even think about what I was saying and how it sounded."

"I know. And so does Zoey," Sam said.

Donna stood up. "I think I'll visit the ladies room myself."

Sam sent her a grateful smile.

"Why the hell did you even bring her?" Josh demanded.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know how you could think it even remotely appropriate to go on a date with the President's daughter."

"I don't know why you think it's even remotely your business."

"I care about her. She's always been like a little sister to me and I thought you felt the same."

"Then back off. I'm not planning on hurting her Josh."

Josh raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what are you planning? Are you going to relocate to New Hampshire or where ever she chooses to live?" He snapped his fingers. "I forgot you're not a lawyer or politician anymore. You're a writer. You can live anywhere."

Sam's eyes filled with ice. "Don't."

"Just think about it Sam. You know damn well that it isn't right."

"How about I tell you that your relationship with Donna isn't right? Why don't I point out that she's been in love with you for years, that she went way beyond the role of an assistant on more occasions than you can count. And then like an idiot you broke her heart by dating Amy."

Josh's body had gone rigid. His hand was clenched into a tight fist on the table. "It's none of your business."

"But my relationship with Zoey is your business?"

"Relationship? You haven't even been in town a week. Unless this _relationship _has been going on for a while. How long Sam?" Charlie asked, his voice harsh. "How many secret trips have you made to DC since you left? Or has she met you other places? How long have you been screwing the President's daughter? Since the first term or maybe the affair started during the first campaign?"

Will's arm flung out, pressing Sam back against the chair. "I would suggest that all three of you remember who you are and where we are," he said in a quiet, firm tone.

"The President has weeks left in office. He doesn't need a scandal," CJ said, glaring at Charlie. Her expression was stony as it slid over Josh. "And the last thing the President Elect needs is for a picture of his CoS in a fist fight to get out." She turned to Sam. "Zoey doesn't need her personal life splashed across the papers." She glanced at each person at the table briefly. "When Donna and Zoey return we are going to order dinner. We are going to eat and carry on civil conversation without giving anyone else here reason to believe something is going on. Am I clear?"

As angry as he was, Sam still picked up on how much CJ sounded like Leo at that moment.

"Yes," Charlie said stiffly, still glaring at Sam.

Sam nodded when CJ's gaze moved to him.

"Yes," Josh said.

They lapsed into silence as the waiter arrived with their drinks. Kate told him that they needed a few more minutes before ordering their food.

Zoey and Donna arrived back at the table and Sam was relieved to see that Zoey was chatting quietly with Donna and that a little color had come to her face.

Donna took a sip of her drink. Beside her Josh sat stiffly, every muscle in his face tense. He'd been annoyed when she'd left, now he was enraged. Charlie too looked as if he'd rather kill them all than eat dinner with them. Sam's expression had been stony when she sat down but now he was speaking quietly to Zoey and his expression had softened somewhat. The other women and Will kept glancing between the three men as if they expected one of them to combust.

Kate was seating between Charlie and Will. On Will's other side was Sam. Before Will had restrained Sam, she'd really thought he was going to come over her and Will both to get to Charlie. That had surprised her. Sam didn't seem the type to get easily angry or to allow the anger free reign. He seemed much more like Will than like Josh in that regard.

She'd heard of Josh and Sam's friendship and of the exploits they'd had while they were both working at the White House. If they were as close as they sounded from all of the stories she'd heard, their friendship would recover from this strain. She wasn't as confident that Sam and Charlie's friendship would survive. Charlie had been angry from the moment he realized that Zoey was Sam's date. The anger had slowly built and during the conversation between Josh and Sam Kate had known that Charlie was about to explode even before he spoke. His eyes had been smoldering and his body was held rigidly, his fingers had clenched so tightly on the edge of the table that they'd turned white. She didn't know him well enough to know how to intercede.

Even now, Charlie was pissed. He was also hurt and jealous. The three emotions were dangerous when combined like they were here. She hoped that Sam and the others realized the problem that could be brewing.

The waiter came back to take their orders and Will held back his sigh of relief. From everyone else's expressions they were as ready for this to be over as he was.

What the hell had happened while she and Donna had been gone, Zoey wondered. The mood hadn't exactly been happy when she'd fled but no one had wanted to commit murder. She was pretty sure that that had changed.

Donna had tried to start a conversation but the replies she'd received had been stilted. Everyone seemed to be upset with nearly everyone and the wait staff seemed to have picked up on it. Every time someone would walk past, they'd glance curiously at the people at the table. Zoey had even caught people staring from across the room. She was used to it of course. Any time someone realized why she looked familiar they'd stare at her. But tonight it was happening more than usual and the staff and other diners were focusing their attention on the others at her table as much as on her.

The food arrived and for once, Zoey wasn't the only one picking at the meal. No one seemed to have much of an appetite.

Finally, Josh thought. They could get out of here. He'd eaten a third of what was on his plate, much more than he'd wanted to eat. He signaled the waiter for the check.

"I'll put it on my card," Sam said.

"I'll take care of it," Josh replied.

Sam shook his head.

Before Sam could speak and another argument could be started, CJ jumped in. "Let Josh take care of it this time Sam. Next time you can pay if you'd like."

Sam clenched his jaw but said nothing more. He knew the warning in CJ's voice when he heard it.

As they all stood up, Zoey turned toward CJ. "What's going on?"

CJ shrugged.

Donna had stepped closer. "Come on CJ. Something happened while we were gone."

"Josh and Sam got into it and then Charlie decided to step in and make it worse."

"Oh God," Zoey whispered. "About me?"

"You were the last person any of them expected Sam to arrive here with," Donna explained, gently laying her hand on Zoey's arm. "Josh has always seen you as a younger sister, and Charlie…"

"I know," Zoey said.

"They're both protective of you. It'll take them some time to get used to this."

"This is nothing compared to how your father is going to react when he finds out," CJ warned.

Zoey smiled weakly. "Daddy already knows. He found out earlier today. He doesn't like it but he's calmed down a lot."

That explained the President's mood, CJ mused. She had wondered what had happened between last night and this morning.

"Are you ready?" Sam asked Zoey.

She leaned forward to hug Donna and then CJ. "Thank you both." She flashed smiles at Will, Kate, and Annabeth, purposefully ignoring Josh and Charlie.

"What was the fight about?" Zoey asked Sam as soon as they were in the car.

Sam blinked in surprise.

"How could you think I wouldn't pick up on it? The tension was palpable when I got back from the restroom. After dinner I asked CJ about it."

"What did she tell you?"

"That you, Josh, and Charlie argued."

Sam sighed. "It almost became a physical fight. Will stepped in and stopped that from happening."

"What did they say?"

"Zo, you don't need to know. They were both angry and shocked. Thinking back, I should have told them who I was bringing. I should have known how upset Charlie would be."

"What did Charlie say?" When he didn't reply, she spoke again. "I'm not going to let it go until you tell me."

"He wanted to know how long we've been involved. He accused me of being involved with you for years now, possibly back to your teen years."

"Did you tell him how preposterous that was?"

"That isn't what I wanted to say to him," Sam said flatly. "Will stopped me before I could respond."

"Read - attack him?"

He started to shake his head in denial but nodded instead. "Yeah."

She laid her head against the back of her seat. "Is this going to happen every time we tell someone about our relationship?" Without moving her head, she rolled her eyes so that they could meet Sam's eyes. "If we're happy together why can't everyone be happy for us?"

He laid his hand over hers on the seat. "I don't know."

''''''''''''''''''''''''

"What exactly happened while Zoey and I were in the ladies' room?" Donna asked as Josh started the car.

He scowled at her.

"You might as well tell me. If you don't, I'm going to call Annabeth as soon as we get to your apartment."

His scowl deepened. "We argued."

"I figured as much. It was over Sam and Zoey's relationship?" When he said nothing, she went on. "I know you care about Zoey, everyone at that table does. Including Sam."

"He came to see me a couple days ago."

She grinned. "And turned down your job offer." She knew that that was one action Josh would never understand.

"He was talking about Zoey and a conversation they had after the funeral. I should have guessed then." He was silent for several moments. "He seemed to think Zoey isn't doing nearly as well as she wants everyone to think she is. Do you think he's right?"

Donna pictured the younger woman and her actions during dinner. She saw the expression on Zoey's face when Will made the psychology comment. "Yes."

"Then a relationship with Sam, or anyone else, could just makes things worse."

"It could or it could help Zoey. Being that it's Sam I'd vote for the latter option. If he thinks he's doing her any kind of emotional harm he'll back off Josh."

Josh parked the car and they climbed out.

"You don't have to approve of the relationship."

He snorted. "Good because I don't."

"But you don't have the right to cause a public scene," she continued. "It's their lives. They have the right to make their own decisions just like you and I do."

"Yeah. But I still don't like it."

She smiled at his pout. "And you're soon to be one of the most powerful men in the country," she teased. "It's a scary thought."

''''''''''''''''''''

"Do you want me to come in?" Sam stood outside the entrance to the Residence with Zoey.

"Yes but it's probably better that you don't. My dad didn't have you exiled to Siberia, that's a good sign, but we probably shouldn't push it."

"So you want me to stay away?"

"I don't want you to," she leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. "And it's only for a few days. Just long enough to let him cool down."

He ran his hand through her hair, relishing in its silky texture. "I can do that." He paused for a few seconds before going on. "We're going to have to discuss what happens next."

"What happens next?"

"We live on opposite coasts. It isn't absolutely pressing that I get home but I can't stay away indefinitely."

"Oh." She leaned into him and let her eyes drop closed, unconsciously wanting the sense of security she felt with Sam.

"We don't have to discuss it or decide anything tonight, but soon Zoey."

"Okay."

He tilted her chin up for a quick kiss and then pulled back. "Go inside where it's warm. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Goodnight," she said softly. She watched Sam walk away and then turned and went inside.

He was right, they did need to talk but she was scared of the conversation. They'd only been dating a few days, after that amount of time she shouldn't be to a place where she would call the relationship serious, yet she'd already reached that point. He'd been back in her life less than a week but she already trusted him more than she'd been able to trust most people since the kidnapping. She felt safe with Sam.

She'd hoped that they could go on pretending that things could just continue like this, that there was no reason they couldn't. But they had to face it. Sam lived in California. He had friends there, a dog, a house, a life.

Zoey walked quickly to her room, hoping that she didn't run into her parents. She wasn't up to that right now.

There were so many reasons why this relationship shouldn't work and she hated them all. She wasn't sure she'd ever wanted a relationship to work as much as she did this one, and that in itself scared her.

She was falling in love with him, she silently admitted. For the first time since Jean-Paul and the kidnapping she was giving someone the power to hurt her and that scared her most of all.

'''''''''''''''''''

Abbey rapped lightly on the door and then opened it. Her daughter was curled up in a chair near the fireplace. When the door opened, she looked up, smiling at her mother.

"I just wanted to say goodnight."

"Night Mom."

She moved farther into the room, glancing at the cover of the book Zoey was holding.

"_Childhood Lost. _Is that Sam's novel?"

"Mmm hmm. I got it when it first came out but I haven't had the chance to read it."

Abbey smiled. "And you figured now was a good time."

Zoey shrugged. "Yes."

"Your father told me about your conversation with him this morning," she said, crossing the room to take the chair next to Zoey's. "He also told me about his conversation with Sam. Honey, why didn't you tell me how much trouble you've been having? You let me think you were doing so much better."

"You both had so much you had to do and Daddy has so much he has to worry about all the time. I didn't want to add to it."

"Zoey, no matter what's going on, no matter what your father and I are busy with, you can always come to us. Always. You girls," she gave her daughter a small smile and corrected herself, "women, come before anything else."

Zoey slowly nodded. "I just don't want to burden you. And I don't want to see that therapist again."

"You and your sisters will never be a burden. Your father and I both love you all too much for that to happen. And if you don't want to see Dr. Andrews again, that's fine." She laid her hand against her daughter's cheek. "All I want is for you to heal. I don't care how it happens."

"Thank you." She swallowed against the lump forming in her throat.

Abbey hesitated before going on. There was something else that needed to be addressed but the conversation had gone so well thus far and she didn't want to upset her daughter. "Don't ever think that you need to keep anything from me because it will hurt me. Don't think that you need to protect me."

Zoey looked down at the book on her lap, absently running her fingers along the spine. "Daddy told you."

"Yes."

"I didn't want either of you to know. I didn't want anyone to know. Sam… he figured it out."

"I'm glad he did. I wish I had. Maybe I would have if I had paid more attention. Or maybe I did somehow know subconsciously and it was easier to ignore it and pretend it hadn't happened." Abbey brushed at a stray tear. "Whichever, I'm sorry baby."

"I know."

Abbey stood up. She'd said what she needed to say, now it was up to Zoey. After the last few years she had no right to expect her daughter to start confiding in her now, no right to expect to fix their relationship with the snap of her fingers. But she was hoping so hard that that would happen.

"I love you Mom." She paused. "And thank you, for coming here, and for letting me handle this my own way."

She nodded. "I love you."

'''''''''''''''''''''''


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Pain (6/?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: TEEN

Spoilers: The entire show is fair game but there is specific emphasis on the kidnapping.

Pairings: Sam/Zoey, Abbey/Jed, other pairings pop up in supporting roles

Author's Notes: This story deals with past sexual abuse. Most of the chapters do not have graphic details.

'''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey quickly moved past the kitchen and toward an exit. Her mother and sisters were in the kitchen getting a head start on Thanksgiving dinner for the next day. If she was caught they'd put her to work. She did not enjoy making homemade pie or stuffing turkeys.

Originally they'd been planning on having the holiday dinner in Manchester, but her father wasn't able to get away so they'd changed their plans a few days before.

It was their last holiday season in the White House and Zoey couldn't be happier. With the holidays came expectations, for everyone of course, but for her family they were different. She had no idea how many holiday parties she'd been invited to in the last several years. And it was considered a slight if she wasn't able to attend.

Going Christmas shopping meant enduring being stared at and allowing the Secret Service to check each store before she went into it. There were some stores she couldn't go to at all because they were too difficult to secure.

The first year her father had been President hadn't been so bad. She'd still been happy for her father at that point and had found the attention she and her family received annoying but flattering. That Christmas she, Annie, and Gus who was just a baby at the time, had spent hours exploring the White House looking at the decorations and trees.

That was before the shooting, before the hearings, and the kidnapping, before politics and this way of life had disillusioned her.

"Aunt Zoey!"

She turned to see Gus and his dog running toward her. The kid was a bundle of energy, and, she privately thought but would never say, brattyness. "What are you up to?"

He shrugged. "I'm bored. There's nothing to do."

Zoey chuckled. "Most kids would love to spend a day playing in the White House."

"That's 'cause they don't know you're not allowed to play in the cool rooms." Gus pouted.

"Like the Oval Office and the Situation Room?"

"Yeah. I wanted to bring a couple of friends with me but my mom wouldn't let me."

"It's a holiday weekend. Your friends needed to be with their families just like you needed to be with yours," Liz said from the hallway.

"But they want to meet Grandpa. Joey says it is so cool that he can blow up anything he wants."

Annie walked into the room just as her brother made the statement. "He can't blow up anything he wants idiot. He'd have to run it by his advisors or take it to Congress or something."

"Annie!"

"What? He was being dumb Mom."

Zoey rolled her eyes. Annie and Gus were constantly at each others throats. She didn't remember fighting half as much with Liz and Ellie growing up. Maybe that was because Liz was so much older than the other two, she mused.

Liz turned to her sister. "Why don't you take Annie and Gus to the pool?"

"I don't think…"

Liz interrupted her. "If you'd rather not swim I'm sure we can find something for you to do in the kitchen." Liz raised her eyebrows as she awaited her sister's answer.

Zoey held back her wince. "I'll take them."

"Aren't there supposed to be professional chefs here?" Annie asked.

"Thanksgiving is a family holiday. Not preparing it ourselves would take something from it," Liz said before turning back toward the kitchen. "Watch Gus carefully Zoey."

"Go get your stuff. I'm going to get my suit and make a call."

Gus ran down the hall but Annie stayed with Zoey. "Who're you calling?"

"A friend."

"The one who's spending tomorrow with us?"

"Yes."

"Mom thinks it's a guy. She says you, Grandma, and Grandpa act weird whenever she asks who it is and tell her to wait until tomorrow."

"It's a guy. You and Gus will get to meet him in a little while."

"Before Mom and Aunt Ellie? Cool."

"Let's just hope everyone thinks that when they meet him."

'''''''''''''''''''

Half an hour later Zoey, the kids, and the dog walked to the pool room. Sam was waiting inside with two Secret Service agents. When the agents saw Zoey, they stepped outside.

Sam glanced at the kids and then gave Zoey a quick kiss on the cheek. "Sam I think you've met my niece and nephew, Annie and Gus Westin. Annie, Gus this is Sam Seaborn."

"Jeez he's old Aunt Zoey."

"Where've you met us?" Gus asked at the same time.

"You were a preschooler last time I saw you. I think it was in the Residence."

"You used to work for our grandpa." Annie's eyes had widened to saucers. "You wrote speeches, right?"

"Yes, I did."

"Whoa." She turned to her aunt. "Do Grandpa and Grandma know? How long have you been dating him?"

"Yes, they know. We've been dating for a few weeks."

Admiration glowed in Annie's eyes when she turned back to Sam. "You must be brave. Grandpa even threatens the guys I date and they're all my age." She glanced at Zoey. "What do you think they'd say if I dated someone older?"

"How much older?"

"I was thinking maybe Josh."

Sam choked back a laugh, earning him a reproachful glance from Annie.

"Grandpa isn't exactly happy about Sam and I. You and Josh would cause him to have a stroke. Heck, it might even cause your dad to have a stroke."

Annie rolled her eyes. "He wouldn't even notice.

Zoey touched her niece's shoulder, not bothering to correct Annie about Doug. The teenager was right about her father. "Let's get changed so we can go in the pool."

Gus took off at a run toward the changing area with Barrik right behind him.

"If you get done before us, wait! Don't go in the pool alone!"

"Okay Aunt Zoey!" he called.

Sam stepped into the changing room Zoey indicated. He was spending the next day with the Bartlets but he hadn't expected to be asked to come over today as well. Zoey hadn't told her sisters that it was he whom she was dating yet. That would happen tomorrow. After Annie's reaction he had no idea what Liz and Ellie would say. They would disapprove as nearly everyone who'd found out had. He just hoped they tempered it for Zoey's sake.

From what he could tell, the President and First Lady had calmed down. He and Zoey hadn't been spending very much time together at the White House but the few times he'd run into one of her parents since the day they found out, they'd been cordial.

It was time to go public with their relationship. More and more people were finding out. He was concerned that the information would end up being leaked and he and Zoey wouldn't have any control over what was known. Zoey wasn't going to agree with him, he was nearly positive about that. She was ready for a private life and after all that had gone on, she deserved it, but the press wouldn't feel that way.

He folded his clothes and laid them on a chair before stepping out of the changing room. Zoey had just come from her changing room as well.

"I got a call from Andy Wyatt yesterday."

"Really? What did the Congresswoman want?"

"Apparently, Josh mentioned our relationship to Toby. They would like for you and I to have dinner with the two of them and the twins."

"I don't know, Sam. After the way the dinner with Josh and the others went… And I've never been close to Toby or to Congresswoman Wyatt."

"I should have warned Josh ahead of time. It wasn't fair to catch him off guard like that. Toby and Andy already know and Toby and Josh react differently to things."

"How so? I've always thought they both have tempers."

"They do. But Josh thinks after he's acted. Toby does the opposite. He'll watch us together and then decide what he thinks about the relationship."

They walked back out to the pool area where Gus sat on the edge of the pool with his feet dangling in the water. When he saw Sam and Zoey he grinned and slid down into the water.

Zoey walked around to the pool steps and sat on the third one, submerged in water to her stomach. Sam sat beside her.

"Toby and Andy are holding the dinner party together?"

"That's what I understood. It'll be at Andy's house."

She hesitated a few seconds. "Are they back together?"

Sam moved his hand through the water, creating ripples. "I doubt they ever will be officially. After the leak, a remarriage could ruin her political career. But they have kids together and I think they've always loved each other."

"So they'll quietly see each other but never go farther and never allow it to become public knowledge."

"They've been doing that for years." He grinned. "But I guess the birth of the twins made it pretty public knowledge."

She chuckled. "I guess so." She sobered, remembering the night Toby's children were born.

Sam laid his hand on her leg. "If you can't go or would rather go later in the evening so that Huck and Molly are asleep, it's okay."

She wanted to jump on that offer. Seeing the twins would bring with it memories of the things that had happened the night they were born. Just hearing them mentioned or seeing a picture was a reminder. But they were just children. They had no control over their birthday. "No. I want to go. I can't run from every reminder of what happened."

He dropped a kiss to her forehead. "I'll call Andy when I get home tonight and make arrangements."

"Okay." She stood and walked into the shallow end of the pool. "Hey Gus?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to race against Sam and I?"

"Sure."

Zoey glanced at Annie who sat on a lounge chair a few feet from the pool. "You're the ref."

The girl shrugged but as soon as Gus had joined the two adults she began counting to three. On two, Gus took off. Zoey and Sam waited until Annie had said three and quickly caught up.

Sam emerged at the deep end of the pool several seconds before the other two. He grinned at Annie, took a few breaths, and dived back under.

Zoey reached the surface and glanced down where Sam was hovering under water. She'd seen him surface before her. Why had he gone back under?

Gus came up next to Zoey and glanced under water. "I beat Sam!" Sam suddenly grabbed his legs and yanked him back down. Zoey was laughing at Gus when Sam did the same to her.

"Why'd you do that?"

Sam grinned at the little boy. "That's what you get for cheating in a race."

"I'm littler so I should get to start sooner."

"I'm stronger so I get to dunk you."

"So why did you pull me under?"

He reached out to push a lock of wet hair out of her face. "I couldn't resist."

"Oh yeah?"

He kissed the tip of her nose, where a water droplet had formed. "Yeah. You're cute with wet unruly hair and water dripping from your face."

"You think I'm cute huh?" She pressed her lips to his as she motioned behind her.

Gus's eyes sparkled as he handed the object to his aunt.

Zoey pulled away as she tipped the bucket. She laughed as Sam sputtered. "I couldn't resist," she said as soon as she had herself under control enough to talk.

He took a step forward, trying to look menacing, and Zoey stepped back quickly. Sam took another step and so did Zoey, laughing as she did so. "I'm sooo scared."

He cupped some water in his hands and splashed it at her.

She stepped back again. "Ow!

"Zo?" He caught her before she could fall.

"My ankle."

"Try to put pressure on it again." He held onto her arms as she stepped down again and winced.

"You must have twisted it." He scooped her up and walked up the steps nearest to them. He set her down on a lounge chair.

Annie handed each of the adults a towel and turned to her brother. "Get out brat."

"I don't have to."

"Yes you do. We probably have to go back to the house. Aunt Zoey's hurt."

"She's probably faking so she can push Sam into the water or something."

"No, she's not." Sam was kneeling next to Zoey, her ankle cradled in his hand. It had already started to swell. He ran his fingers down the curve.

Zoey bit down on her lip.

Annie perched on the edge of the chair closest to Zoey's. "Is that the one you broke?"

"You broke it?"

"When I was thirteen I broke it in a horseback riding accident."

Sam stood up. "Okay. A doctor needs to look at this." He scooped her up again.

Zoey slid an arm around Sam's neck and ran her fingers up into his hair. "This is going to be so embarrassing."

"It isn't embarrassing. It's romantic. He's your knight in shining armor."

"I've never liked that term. It makes women sound so weak."

"You are weak right now. You can't even walk."

Annie flicked the back of Gus's head with two fingers.

They stepped out of the room and one of Zoey's agents stepped forward. "What happened?"

"A pool accident. I think she sprained her ankle. I'm going to take her up to the Residence."

"Would you like me to radio for a doctor to be waiting?"

"Please," Sam said.

"No," Zoey said at the same time. Zoey looked up at Sam. "My mom will call a doctor if she thinks she needs to."

"Fine," Sam agreed.

They stepped into the Residence several minutes later and Sam carried Zoey to her room.

"I'll get Grandma."

Annie rolled her eyes as she sat on the corner of Zoey's nightstand. "He just wanted an excuse to run inside."

"Can you get me a couple of Tylenol from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom?"

"Maybe I should wait until Grandma gets here."

"Annie, it's Tylenol. It won't hurt anything."

A couple of minutes later Annie came back with two Tylenols and a glass of water. Zoey was swallowing the pills when her mother and sisters stepped into the room.

Abbey stepped up to the side of the bed but Ellie and Liz stood back. "What happened?"

Sam quickly filled her in.

Abbey looked up after examining the ankle. "It's sprained. Annie can you go get an ice pack from the kitchen?" She turned back to her daughter. "You already took painkiller?"

Zoey nodded.

Annie returned with the ice and Abbey wrapped Zoey's foot and laid the ice on it.

"Why don't you and Gus take Barrik for a walk?" Liz asked her daughter.

Annie sighed but turned back toward the door. "Come on."

"Sam is the man you were going to have join us for dinner tomorrow?"

"Going to? Are you disinviting me Liz?"

She ignored him. "You told us it was someone we already knew and that we'd be surprised."

"We expected it to be Charlie," Ellie said quietly.

Zoey smiled brightly. "Then you were surprised like I said you would be."

"Shocked is a more appropriate word. He used to work for Dad, Zoey. Do you really think a relationship with him is appropriate?"

"He doesn't work for Dad now and if he did it wouldn't matter to me. I care about Sam, not who he works for."

"You care about him. How long have you been involved with him? A couple of weeks? Or have you been having a secret romance?"

"We've been dating since the day after Leo's funeral. And the length of time we've dated has nothing to do with us caring about each other."

"He's never shown interest in you before and all of a sudden he is. You don't think that is strange."

"Don't," Sam said. "Don't try to make this seem inappropriate. Zoey is an adult, capable of making her own decisions."

"He's right. Your sister doesn't need our criticism. She needs and deserves our support."

Liz's eyes widened. "You support this relationship? Does Dad?"

Abbey hesitated half a second before speaking. "Sam isn't the man we would have chosen for Zoey. But if he makes her happy we support the relationship, just like we supported you when you married Doug."

"I don't appreciate the example it sets for my daughter. Annie has always adored Zoey."

"Annie is a smart kid Liz. She realizes that there's an age difference between us and that she can't even legally be involved with a guy several years older than she is." Zoey grinned. "That doesn't mean she isn't going to use this to tease you."

Liz glanced at Sam, who had moved to sit on the bed next to Zoey. His hand rested on hers on the bedspread. "You'll be joining us tomorrow for dinner?"

"Yes."

"Good," Liz said. "But be warned, things can be insane when all of us are together at one table."

That was as close to acceptance as he would get from her, Sam knew. He smiled. "Zoey warned me about that too."

"I'd better go check on Gus and Barrik before they dig up the Rose Garden. I'll see you tomorrow Sam."

Abbey stood up. "I need to check the pies. Don't get up from that bed." She turned to Sam and rolled her eyes. "When she broke her ankle she allowed a friend to dare her to walk on it without painkiller."

"I had to walk across the room to get twenty bucks. I got the money."

"And you spent the entire night in pain because you couldn't take anymore pain medication. We'll eat at about two tomorrow Sam."

"Alright. See you tomorrow Dr. Bartlett, Ellie."

"I never expected that your mother would make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner."

"When I was a kid she'd decide to do that every few years. The rest of the time they either bought a prepared dinner from a deli or Dad made it."

"My mother never made Thanksgiving dinner and I don't remember my Dad doing more than pouring a cup of coffee in the kitchen."

"Who made holiday dinners?"

"Mrs. Martin, the housekeeper. That was when we had a holiday dinner. Most of the time we didn't. My dad was usually out of town, supposedly working, and my mother was more interested in spending time with her friends."

"Supposedly working?"

"I have no idea how many of those times, if any, he was actually working. He had a long-term affair."

"I'm sorry."

Sam shifted so that he could lay his hand on her leg, right above her ankle. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have teased you like that."

"I love how sweet you are. It wasn't your fault Sam. You were playing and you couldn't have known what was going to happen. I didn't even know how weak my ankle apparently is."

"I still wish I'd been more careful. I should have left it at dunking you under water. You really were cute with your hair wet and plastered to your face."

"You have the strangest taste in cute, you do know that right?"

"I know." He kissed her forehead and stood up. "I'm going to go. Stay off your ankle. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodbye Sam. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Helping with my ankle, caring about me, everything."

"Don't thank me for any of that Zo. Especially not for caring about you. That comes naturally and easily. I'll call you in the morning."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Pain (7/?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: Kid

Pairings: Sam/Zoey, Jed/Abbey, various minor pairings

Author's Notes: This story contains past sexual abuse. Most of the chapters do not graphically deal with the abuse.

Thanks to Anakam for beta reading this for me!!!

''''''''''''''''''''''

During the years he'd served the President's Administration it had never occurred to him that he'd ever be willingly and happily spending a holiday in the White House. Of course, he'd spent holidays here before but always because of an emergency and never in the Residence.

He stepped past the Secret Service agents guarding the Residence. By now they were used to his visits and ignored him when he came and went.

Doug, Vic, Gus, and Annie were gathered in the family room. A football game was on but only Doug appeared to be paying any attention to it. Gus was playing Game Boy and Annie and Vic just seemed bored.

"Hey Sam," Annie said. "Mom said we have to spend the day as a family." The rolling of her eyes indicated how she felt about that. "I can't even use the phone."

Sam searched for something sympathetic to say but couldn't come up with anything so he just smiled.

"Oh, this is Aunt Ellie's husband, Vic. I don't think you've met him before, have you?"

"No, I haven't." Sam moved forward and held his hand out. Vic stared at it for a few seconds and then stood and shook the extended hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Vic said quietly.

"Doug, it's good to see you again."

"Same here." Doug returned his attention to the television screen.

"Aunt Zoey's still in her room. Her ankle is bothering her."

"Has she seen a doctor?"

"Yeah. Grandma finally made Aunt Zoey let someone come up early this morning. The swelling wasn't going down so the doctor gave her some kind of medicine." Annie noticed the concern on his face and his hesitation at leaving. "If you want to go check on her, no one but me will notice you're gone. I'll let Grandma know you're here."

"Thanks Annie."

Sam knocked lightly and stepped into Zoey's room without waiting for her response. She was propped up against her pillows, flipping through the channels on TV. Her hurt ankle lay still on the bed with an ice pack propped against it. The heel of her uninjured foot tapped against the bed every couple of seconds.

"A little bored there Zo?"

She shook her head. "A lot bored. My mother says to stay here until it's time to eat. I don't want to stay in here alone."

He dropped down next to her on the bed, careful not to jostle her ankle. "How about with company?"

"Hmm. I guess that depends on the company. Are you going to go get Annie or maybe CJ to entertain me?"

"Annie or CJ? Well I was going to stay myself but if you'd rather…" He started to stand but Zoey caught his arm and pulled him back down.

"I suppose you'll do." She smiled. "I'm glad you came Sam."

He shifted on the bed so that he was lying next to her. "So am I."

"Thanksgiving in the White House with the First Family. Bet you never saw this coming."

"No, I didn't. Everything that's happened the last few weeks has been a complete surprise. Even though I didn't expect it, I'm happy about it and with it. I'm falling in love with you. And God do I sound sappy."

"Yeah you do, but sappy is good."

Sam reached out to wipe away a tear at the corner of her eye.

"I'm so emotional."

He grinned. "Yeah, but emotional is good." He pressed a light kiss to her lips.

"I didn't want to fall in love with you. After what happened, I never wanted to have to trust again. But I love you and I trust you."

"That scares you," he observed quietly, absently covering her hand with his and running his thumb over her skin in slow circles.

"Yes. I trusted Charlie but after the shooting he pushed me away. When I really needed him." She reached for the bottle of water on her nightstand and took a sip to stall for time while she formatted her thoughts into words. "I think it was kept kind of quiet but the night I was taken, Jean-Paul had slipped something in my drink. He thought it was ecstasy. It was a date rape drug."

"The reason your response was too slow for you to use your panic button. He was deported afterward?"

"Yes. He's not allowed back in the U.S."

"Good. I don't want him anywhere near you. Or me. I don't trust what my actions would be."

"Statements like that are why I fall more in love with you with every conversation we have."

Sam picked up a strand of her hair, gently rubbing it between two fingers. "I like hearing that." He was silent for a few minutes. "We never had that discussion we talked about a couple of weeks ago."

Zoey tilted her head so that she could see his face. This was a conversation she'd been dreading since he'd mentioned it. She wanted to just leave everything as it was. She was terrified that even a slight change could ruin everything, send them back to where they'd been before they saw each other again at Leo's wake.

"I have to go back to California for a while. There are some things I need to take care of. My dog has been in a kennel since before the funeral."

"Oh."

"I'm not sure how easy it would be for us to maintain a relationship while I'm living on the west coast and you're living on the east coast." Sam heard her quickly indrawn breath and saw her teeth close over her bottom lip. "I'm not breaking up with you Zoey. What would you think of my hiring an agency to rent my house out?"

"You'd move back to DC?"

"If you're going to be in school in DC, yes. If you're going back to New Hampshire, I can get an apartment there." He smiled. "If you're going to be in New Hampshire, I might even be able to work on your father's biography."

"You've made a life for yourself in California. You're willing to walk away from that?"

"I'm not walking away from my life Zoey. If this relationship is going to work we need to live closer to each other. The only other option would be for you to move to California but I'm not going to ask you to move that far away from your family."

"Maybe I'd like to get away from my family." She sighed. "But I have to finish my coursework first and that won't happen until the spring quarter."

"I didn't know you were that close to your Masters."

Zoey grimaced. "The coursework is almost done but I still have my thesis. Every time I try to work on it, I hit a wall. How long will you be gone?"

"A couple of weeks. I'm going to drive back. I hate having to put Rebel with the luggage on a plane."

"Your dog is named Rebel?"

"I got him from a rescue already named."

"I can't wait to meet him. I don't think I've ever met a rebellious dog."

"Don't laugh Zoey. The name suits him." He curled the strand of hair around his finger. "If you want to meet him sooner you could always come with me."

"Go with you? I'm not… I don't know…"

He waited several seconds, purposefully keeping his voice gentle, soothing. "You can stay in my guest room or in a hotel and on the way back we can get separate hotel rooms. I'm not going to pressure you, Zoey, on anything. If you'd rather not go, that's fine too."

"I want to go. My agents will have to go as well."

"I understand."

"My dad is going to stroke out when he hears about this. When are we going?"

"I was planning on leaving early next week so we won't be traveling back during the major Christmas rush."

"I'll inform the head of my detail tonight. They'll need your address so someone can go ahead and check everything out. They've been even more strict the last few years."

"We should tell your dad too. I don't want you to be the only one in his sights when he finds out."

She chuckled. "Except that he won't hurt me. The most he'd do is lock me in the basement at the farm. You… I don't know."

He laughed. "But you're making no promises?"

"Yep. Stay to help me tell him and I don't guarantee that you'll make it out alive."

"Yet you sound so cheerful."

She shrugged.

"You want to be cheerful? Do you want to laugh Zo?" He grinned menacingly as he leaned over her.

"What are you doing?" The question wasn't completely out before his hands were on her stomach, tickling her. "Hey!"

"Hey, what?" He shifted slightly, making sure he wasn't near her injured ankle. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Yes," she gasped in between giggles.

"Apologize for teasing me with your father's wrath."

"Not…going…to happen."

"Then I'm not going to stop."

She ran a hand up his arm to his armpit, her touch feather-light through his shirt.

"Zo, don't."

She grinned when he started laughing and his hands stilled on her stomach. "Think you're the only one who learned to fight dirty as a kid?"

"And they think you're too old for her? You act younger than me."

Sam rolled to his side and glanced at Gus, who stood in the doorway. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Obviously," Annie said from behind her brother. "Grandma sent us to get you. Dinner is ready."

"Thanks," Sam said. "We'll be there in a few minutes." After the door was closed again, he turned back to Zoey. "How's your ankle? I didn't bump it, did I?"

"No. It's fine."

"Good." He stood and grabbed her crutches.

Zoey stood up. "Thanks. And by the way, I'm so going to get you back for tickling me like that."

"Uh oh. Now you're scaring me," Sam teased.

'''''''''''''''''''

In the dining room Sam took the seat the First Lady indicated, between Zoey and Doug. Annie was seated across from him.

The President focused his attention on the two newcomers to the gathering. "Each Thanksgiving we go around the table and everyone is given the opportunity to say a prayer of thanks to God."

Zoey leaned closer to Sam. "If you'd rather not pray, we can skip you."

It was tempting to jump on Zoey's suggestion. He'd been raised Catholic but he hadn't practiced his faith in years. If he'd ever said a prayer like this in public he couldn't remember it. "It's fine. I'll do it."

To Sam's relief the prayers were kept short. If they'd been longer he would have felt the need to emulate the length. When was the last time he'd felt such a need to impress a woman's family? Had he ever?

A steward carried a huge turkey out on a platter and the President stood up, reaching for the carving knife.

"This is so hypocritical," Annie announced as her grandfather cut into the bird. "You just pardoned one turkey and now you're about to eat another."

"Annie," Liz warned.

"What? I'm just saying." She turned back to Jed. "What is the point in the pardoning if you're just going to eat a different animal?"

"The point is a fluff story for the press," Liz said dryly. She smiled at the others seated around the table. "I guess I should have warned you that Annie has decided that she wants to be a vegetarian."

"I don't _want _to be one. I _am _one."

"I wish you'd told me," Abbey said. "I would have checked into preparing a tofu turkey."

"Yuck." Gus scrunched up his face. "Tofu is so gross."

"It's better than the canned junk you'd eat for every meal if Mom allowed it moron."

"Annie."

At her grandfather's tone, Annie sighed. "Sorry."

Zoey smiled at Sam. "It's always like this at family dinners."

"Except when it's worse," Ellie said, rolling her eyes.

The President served the meat and they all turned their attention to filling their plates with the other food that the First Lady and her two older daughters had prepared.

Sam listened to the conversation flow as they ate. He would have expected much more discussion of politics and world events from this group. Instead the family discussed what he assumed every other family in America did; sports, school, Ellie's job. There was a lot of joking and teasing. He tried to come up with similar conversations from his childhood but couldn't remember any. On the few occasions when his family had eaten dinner together the conversation had been stilted or non-existent and everyone had fled as soon as they'd finished eating.

"Is anyone ready for pie?" Abbey asked after they'd finished dinner. "We have pumpkin, cherry, and peach."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "No apple?"

The President sighed. "I know, it's positively un-American but this bunch doesn't like apple pie."

"Neither do you Jethro."

"Is there ice cream?" Gus asked. "I want ice cream on my cherry pie."

"Would we ever have you come over without making sure we have ice cream for you?" Abbey asked him, smiling.

A few minutes later, the adults moved to the living room with their pie and coffee. Gus had taken his pie to his room so that he could practice a new PlayStation game. Annie had finally been given permission to make a phone call from her room.

Zoey sat on a small sofa and motioned for Sam to take the seat next to her. "Sam's flying back to California to get some of his stuff next week." She took a sip of her coffee. "I'm going with him."

Sam jumped in before anyone could respond. "I'll be putting my house up for lease while we're in California. I'm moving back to DC."

"Are you taking a job with the Santos Administration?" Doug asked curiously.

"No. I'm no longer involved in politics. That won't be changing."

"So your sole purpose for moving back here is being closer to Zoey," Liz said flatly.

"Have you thought about taking the relationship a little slower? Maybe date long distance for a while, while you see if this relationship is going to work out?" Ellie suggested, trying to diffuse the situation. She could see the tense set of her father's jaw and the anger flaring in his eyes.

"We weren't telling you because we wanted your opinions before we made a decision," Sam said, meeting each person's eyes for a few seconds. "The decisions have been made. Zoey and I are simply informing you of them."

The President set his untouched pie on the table next to his chair. "You know damn well how vulnerable she is right now and you're taking advantage of it."

"Daddy, he isn't taking advantage of anything. I want him to move to DC." She looked at Ellie, and then Liz, silently entreating them to understand. "I've done the long distance relationship thing before. It isn't something that I want to do again. I really like Sam, and I really want this to work. Can't you try to understand?"

Liz crossed the room so that she could perch on the edge of the sofa next to her sister. "You know I want you to be happy. We all do. We're just a little overprotective."

"You've always been the baby. It's our natural urge to shelter you," Ellie added.

"I'm not sure this is the right thing for you but I'll try to support you," Liz said.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to California with Sam," Jed said. "There would be security issues and there's the possibility of the press finding out."

"I've already spoken with the head of my detail. There won't be any problems with security for the trip. As for the press, where I go and who I'm with is none of their business."

Abbey laid a hand on her husband's knee. She knew what Jed's problem was; this was the first time Zoey had been farther away from both of them than Manchester since the kidnapping. She was nearly as worried as he was but she also realized that they couldn't shelter and protect Zoey forever. The kidnapping itself was proof of that. "She'll be fine Jed. Sam will be with her, and her agents."

Jed sighed reluctantly. "How long will you be gone?"

"Only a couple of weeks. We'll fly out and then drive back before the holiday traveling rush begins."

"You'll make sure your panic button is always with you and within reach?"

"Yes Daddy."

"Fine." He turned to Sam. "If anything happens to her…"

"Nothing will, Mr. President. She'll be safe. I'll make sure of it."

'''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey carefully folded the sweater and laid it in her suitcase. She ran through her mental check-list to make sure she had everything she'd need for a cross-country trip in the middle of winter. Clothing and accessories appropriate for freezing temperatures and clothing appropriate for the warmer weather of California. She reached behind her to grab her diary off of her nightstand, and after tossing it in, snapped the suitcase closed.

She sat her suitcase next to the door and went back to sit on the edge of her bed. She and Sam would be leaving early the next morning. She wanted to go, had been looking forward to the trip since she and Sam had discussed it on Thanksgiving, but a part of her was apprehensive. On Thanksgiving she'd told Sam that she loved him and trusted him and that was true. She trusted him more than she had trusted anyone in years but it was hard not to have doubts. The farther their relationship went, the deeper her feelings for him went, the more she worried that something was going to go wrong. That she'd do something to push him away or that he'd change his mind and decide that he'd rather have a relationship with someone more normal or who had more in common with him. She'd manage to push the thoughts away and convince herself that they were irrational but they always came back within a few days no matter what she did.

Now that she and Sam were about to go to California together and he was preparing to move to DC, her doubts and fears were worse. They were going to be gone for several days. Alone together, or at least as alone as it was possible to be with a Secret Service detail in tow. Days before, when they'd discussed the trip, Sam had made it clear that he wasn't using this trip as and excuse to pressure her into bed with him. She knew that he meant it. Sam was patient and kind and she believed him when he said that he loved her but even he had to be wondering after a month of taking their relationship so slow if she'd ever be ready to sleep with him. She was wondering that as well. She wanted to and had been close to making the first move several times but something always held her back. She would imagine making love with Sam and the thoughts would metamorphose into memories of her kidnappers. God, she hated still living with the nightmares and fear so long after it had happened. Hated the fact that through the nightmares, through her fears and insecurities, they were still controlling her.

Zoey swallowed hard and fought the impulse to start yanking things out of her suitcase. She was going to take back control of her life. She'd been working hard at it for weeks and was going to continue to do so. She wasn't going to let nameless, faceless men control her from afar any longer. She'd start with this trip.

''''''''''''''''''''


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Pain (8/?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Pairings: Sam/Zoey, Jed/Abbey, Josh/Donna, a few other minor pairings

Author's Note: Okay, so this chapter is short but at least it's here. I do plan to finish this story but between school and work I don't have nearly as much time as I'd like. I'll try to get another chapter up soon.

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Sam quickly walked through the apartment, giving it a cursory inspection even though he already knew he'd be taking it. It was in a good location, had a good price, had a monthly leasing option, and was available immediately. The fact that Josh lived in the same building made him hesitate but only briefly. He hadn't seen or spoken with Josh since the evening of the dinner and he had no intention of changing that anytime soon. But Josh worked long hours and would be working even longer hours after the inauguration. Avoiding running into Josh shouldn't be a problem.

He turned to face the super. "I'll be out of the area for the next couple of weeks. I'll be shipping some things here and they'll probably arrive before I do. Can you arrange for someone to sign for them and have them locked in the apartment for me?"

"Certainly. If you're ready we can go back to my office to fill out the paperwork."

Sam nodded and followed the man out of the room.

It took Sam a half hour to fill out the necessary paperwork but he was relieved to have it taken care of. He and Zoey were booked on a flight leaving for California that afternoon.

Zoey was nervous about the trip. There had been several times when he'd expected her to tell him she'd changed her mind and she'd wait here in DC for him. He couldn't blame her. He was a little nervous himself. There were so many things that could go wrong anytime you traveled but when you traveled with someone as recognizable as Zoey there were added concerns.

It was time their relationship became public knowledge but he hadn't had a chance to discuss that with Zoey yet. There was a good chance that the decision would be taken out of their hands during this trip anyway. He hoped that Zoey was ready to handle it if that happened.

Sam parked his car in the visitor's lot at the White House.

He found Zoey waiting for him near the entrance to the Residence, her bags waiting at her feet.

"Let's go before…"

"Zoey?"

She winced at her mother's voice calling out from down the hall. "They realize I'm leaving," she finished weakly.

He smiled. "They love you Zo. They're going to worry the whole time we're gone."

She sighed. "I know but they spent the whole morning telling me to be careful of this and be careful of that. I've reminded them that you'll be with me the whole time, as will my agents. Still every five minutes it's "Keep your panic button on you at all times, be aware of your surroundings, listen to your agents, don't leave your drink unattended"."

"They love you," he repeated as Abbey stepped into the foyer.

Abbey pulled her daughter into a hug. "I'm going to miss you. Be careful." She looked at Sam over her daughter's shoulder. "Take care of her for me."

"Always."

Abbey forced herself to turn back toward the hall. She knew Zoey would be safe on this trip, knew how much Sam was in love with her daughter and that he wouldn't allow anything to happen to her. It had been more than three years since that night but now, as Zoey was preparing to go across country, farther from Abbey than she'd been in years, it felt like three minutes.

"I love you Mom."

Abbey stopped long enough to glance over her shoulder at her daughter. Zoey was leaning against Sam, her head against his chest. She was trembling slightly and nibbling on her bottom lip. She was as scared as Abbey was, maybe more so. But along with the fear Abbey could see the trust in Zoey's eyes and the younger woman's comfort in Sam's arms.

"I love you too baby." Abbey smiled at them both before leaving the room.

Sam held Zoey for a couple of more minutes. "Ready?" he asked softly.

Zoey nodded slowly.

Sam cupped her chin and gently tilted her head up so that he could meet her eyes. "It's not too late to change your mind."

For half a second Zoey thought about taking him up on his offer, accepting the way out. It would be so much easier than dealing with the crowds at the airport, the restaurants and hotels they'd be staying in on the way back. But she was tired of taking the easy way out. "I want to go with you." She gave him a teasing smile. "Unless you've changed your mind? If you'd rather I stay, I will. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you."

Sam grinned as he let go of her, picked up her suitcases, and took a step toward the hall. "I guess it would be a little easier to travel by myself. It would certainly take longer driving back with you. All those bathroom stops woman insist on making." He shrugged and turned back toward the exit. "But we've already got your plane ticket and tickets for your agents."

She grinned. "We certainly wouldn't want to waste the tickets."

"Yes, that was my thought. I guess you're coming."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey glanced around her and she and Sam walked toward baggage claim. No one was paying them any attention. Still, she was weary. Things could be going well, everyone could be oblivious to her, and then one person would recognize her. In seconds there'd be a crowd and she'd be wishing for an escape route.

It was getting warmer, Zoey thought as she and Sam joined the throng waiting to retrieve their bags. The sweater she'd warn in DC and on the plane was suddenly too heavy. Even the air was hot; it felt like it was going to sear her lungs.

She sucked in a deep breath, willing herself to relax.

"Zoey?"

She bit down on her lip and looked up at him.

The fear that had gradually been fading from her eyes during the past few weeks was back. She was pulling in ragged, shallow breaths and rubbing her palms against the thighs of her jeans.

He didn't touch her, wouldn't risk that being the final thing that triggered her losing control. He kept his voice as low and non-threatening as possible. "Let's go Zoey."

"Our things?"

"Later I'll arrange for them to be sent to us."

She nodded and followed Sam as he led her toward the exit.

Now Sam was glad that he'd left his car here instead of having a friend drop him off or taking a taxi. He needed to get Zoey away from here as fast as possible. Her lead agent had moved in closer, obviously aware that Zoey was close to a meltdown and the other agents were watching Zoey alertly. Not for the first time Sam wondered what they'd noticed over the last three years, what they'd helped Zoey keep private.

They stepped through the airport doors and into the cool evening air. Zoey stopped for a second, dragging in a deep breath.

"It's only a few more minutes to the car," Sam said gently.

Zoey swallowed, again following as Sam started walking. The farther they walked, the smaller the crowd got. Breathing was getting easier.

Sam unlocked the car and opened Zoey's door for her.

She climbed in and laid her head back against the seat, letting her eyes drop closed.

Sam waited a few minutes in silence. Finally Zoey looked up at him. "I thought I was getting over it. It's been weeks since I've had a panic attack."

He smoothed a lock of hair off of her forehead. "It takes time Zoey."

She sighed. "I was terrified that I was going to freak out. I'm always scared that this will be the time that some photographer sees me and gets pictures or footage."

"That isn't going to happen."

She shook her head. "I've been lucky so far." She sent him a small smile. "So are we going to go see your beach house sometime soon?"

He grinned as he started up the car.

''''''''''''''''''''''''


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Author's Notes: I just realized that it has been a year since I've updated this story. Wow. I do plan to finish and will try not to let it go this long between updates again.

This chapter has not been beta read so any mistakes are mine alone.

'''''''''''''''

The drive to Sam's home was made in silence, with Zoey staring out the window vacantly while Sam alternated between keeping his eyes on the road and glancing at her with concern. Maybe having her come to California with him hadn't been such a good idea. He'd thought that she could handle it but maybe he was expecting too much from her, too fast. He knew how Zoey was with crowds and LAX was one of the busiest airports in the country. He should have considered all of that but instead thought of spending a couple of weeks away from her, missing her.

Finally, Sam pulled into his driveway, followed closely by the car carrying the majority of Zoey's detail. He unfastened his seatbelt and turned to face Zoey. The side of her face lay against her window and at some point in the last few minutes her eyes had fallen shut. "Zo," he said softly.

Zoey slowly opened her eyes and turned to face Sam.

He reached out to undo her seatbelt. "We're here. Would you like to see my house?"

She nodded as she stepped out of the car. Her agents had already made their way into the house and were stepping out to give the all clear when Sam and Zoey reached the front door.

Sam stood back so that Zoey could precede him into the house. Once she'd stepped inside, Zoey stopped, glancing around the tri-level house.

From where she stood she could see the living room to her right. It was dominated by a large stone fireplace with several pictures decorating the mantel. Several comfortable looking, over-stuffed armchairs were spaced around the room. One full wall was devoted to floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, filled to capacity.

Sam gestured toward a hall off to the left. "There are two guest bedrooms that way." He opened the door to the first. A set of bunk beds stood against one wall with a closed toy box at the foot of it. Another wall held a white dresser and matching bookshelf. A doll shaped lamp perched on top of the dresser and the bookshelf was full of children's book.

Zoey turned to Sam, curious.

"My sister and her family live about an hour away. Her two daughters enjoy coming to stay with Uncle Sam occasionally."

"I didn't know you had a sister," Zoey mused. "Actually, I guess I thought you were an only child for some reason."

"So did I for years." At Zoey's confused look he went on. "My parents didn't have any other children together. However my father had an affair for over twenty years. He and his mistress had a daughter, Olivia. I met her several years ago. Since I've moved back to California she and I have become friends."

"How old are her daughters?"

"Tricia is ten. Amanda is seven." He paused a moment. "I was hoping to be able to introduce you to all of them while we're here."

She smiled. "I'd like that. Will I be meeting your parents as well?"

"No. I haven't spoken with my father in years and my mother is in France with her latest boyfriend." He stepped out of the room, leading Zoey toward the other guest room. The room held a queen sized bed with a matching night stand and dresser. Fresh flowers had been placed on the dresser and the bed had been made with crisp, light blue linens.

Sam reached forward to stroke his hand over Zoey's cheek. "I asked the housekeeper to prepare this room for you."

"Thank you," Zoey said softly. She continued to meet Sam's gaze as she forced herself to go on before she lost her nerve. "Where is your room?"

"At the other end of the house."

"I don't think I want to stay that far from you."

"Two of your agents will be in the next room and I have an excellent security system. I promise you'll be safe here."

"I know I'm safe Sam, here, with you." She swallowed. "I think… I'd like…"

Sam softly stroked Zoey's cheek and he waited for her to formulate her thoughts into words.

"I want to stay with you," she finally whispered.

"Zo," Sam said softly. His hand moved up into her hair and he gently drew her forward until her head was resting against his chest.

"If you don't want me to its ok," she rushed on. "I can stay in here, or in a hotel, if you don't…"

He smoothed his hand down through her hair to cup her chin and tilt her face toward his. "Zoey," he broke in, keeping his voice low, gentle. "I want you here, with me, but I don't want to push you. I don't want you to feel you need to do something you aren't ready for."

"I love you."

Sam leaned forward, gently brushing his lips across hers. "And I love you."

After a few moments, Zoey drew back slightly. "I want to stay with you while I'm here. I'm not sure about anything else but I want to be with you, feel your arms around me while I sleep." She bit down on her bottom lip. "That night when I fell asleep in your hotel room was the best night's sleep I've had in years."

He drew his thumb along her lip, forcing her teeth to release it. "If you're sure it's what you want Zo, but if you change you're mind I want you to tell me."

She smiled. "Okay but I won't."

"Would you like to see the rest of the house?" he asked, smiling back.

"Please."

He led her out of the hallway and toward a huge kitchen and dining area adjacent to the entryway. French doors led from the dining area out onto a large patio and the beach beyond.

"It's beautiful," Zoey breathed.

"The beach is my favorite part of California."

"You're going to miss it."

"I love California. I love the sand, the sun, and the surf. But Zoey, I love you more." He kissed her gently before linking his fingers with hers and guiding her toward the rooms tucked into the rear of the house.

Sam paused a moment, watching Zoey's face as he opened the door that lead to his private suite.

Zoey's eyes focused on the California king sized bed that dominated the room.

"Nothing you aren't ready for," Sam reminded her softly.

With a nod, she turned, taking in the fireplace on one wall, logs already set. A sliding door led to a small covered patio which held a table and a couple of chairs. A bookshelf was stuffed with even more books. She really was going to have to take time to check out some of the titles soon.

A door led from the bedroom into Sam's office. The house's third fireplace was directly across from Sam's desk. A shelf behind his desk held what appeared to be mostly reference books. What surprised her the most was the exercise equipment set up near one of the windows.

"Working out gets rid of the stress and sometimes writer's block."

Zoey nodded, moving to look out the window. "You have the most amazing views from the whole house."

"You should see it during a storm. The ocean is just gorgeous."

"Maybe I will someday," she said softly.

"You will." He stepped back, glancing behind him for the clock. "We should have dinner. I doubt there's much here, I've been gone so long. I'll have to go to the store tomorrow."

"We could go out," she suggested, but Sam could hear the dread in her voice.

"Yes," he agreed. "Or we could order in. There's an amazing Italian place that makes great pizza."

"Pizza sounds good."

He took her hand again. "Then we shall order one."

''''''''''''''


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: West Wing and its characters do not belong to me.

Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who took the time to review! Like always, your comments were much appreciated!

I'm currently looking for a new beta reader for West Wing fiction, including this story. If you're interested please email me. My email address can be found on my profile page.

''''''''''''''

"I'll get that Mr. Seaborn," one of Zoey's agents, Brian, said as Sam went to answer the door.

Sam stood a few steps back as Brian made the surprised pizza boy produce his driver's license and work ID badge. Finally he stepped back with a nod to Sam.

The boy looked between Brian and Sam a few times before meeting Sam's eyes. "It'll be $51.54 please."

As Sam pulled out his wallet and counted out the money, plus a tip, the teenager continued to glance back and forth between the two men as if trying to figure out who Sam was that he rated a bodyguard.

Sam accepted the food and closed and locked the door, shaking his head and smiling slightly. The poor kid had been so confused. He'd obviously assumed that Sam was some sort of celebrity but hadn't been able to figure out what he was famous for.

He was going to have to get used to that again. During the first several weeks of the Bartlet for America campaign, the attention had been disconcerting. Whenever they could find the time the staff, and usually Zoey, would slip away to a quiet restaurant, a department store, or a laundry mat. Even without Governor Bartlet present there has been curious stares, pointing, and whispering. Zoey's protection had drawn a lot of attention.

Since leaving DC, he'd gotten used to the life of anonymity again. He'd been recognized from the picture on the jacket cover of his novel but not often and usually in bookstores or libraries. He really couldn't imagine what it must be like for Zoey. She'd been standing on the edge of her father's spotlight, slowly being pushed farther and farther into it, since childhood. It would likely be that way for the rest of her life.

She'd have her secret service detail for a while after her father left office. It was policy to gradually withdraw protection. But eventually the agents would all be gone. He had to admit that he was already a little concerned about how she'd handle that. He shook off the thought. It was months away and by then Zoey would hopefully be a lot better.

In the kitchen, Sam dropped the food down on the counter and reached into a cupboard for plates. He served salad onto each plate and then added a couple of slices of pizza. He closed the plastic bowl the salad had come in and set it and the remaining pizza aside for the agents. After adding forks to the two plates and grabbing salad dressing from the fridge, he stopped for a moment, wondering if he should serve Zoey wine or soda. After a few moments of silent debate, he took two cans of soda from the fridge. He didn't want to take the chance of alcohol influencing Zoey's decisions tonight.

He balanced the food in his arms and headed for his bedroom. Zoey had surprised him earlier in the guest room. As attracted as he was to her, as he'd been since that first day he'd seen her in her bedroom, the first day he'd held her, he'd known from the beginning that they were going to have to go very slowly. He'd spent the last several weeks acclimating her to his touch. He was terrified of pushing her into something she wasn't ready for, of causing her more emotional trauma.

The doors out to his patio were open and Zoey stood outside, leaning against the rail. She stared out at the ocean as the slight wind blowing off of the water ruffled her hair. She'd changed from her traveling outfit to a pair of denim jeans and a college sweatshirt. Not for the first time, Sam was struck by how young she looked. Too young to be here like this, with him. Way too young to have gone through all that she had.

For a moment he wished he could somehow go back in time to that night or even a few months or weeks before Zoey's graduation so he could get rid of the French boyfriend. It would save her so much pain, emotionally and physically. She'd still be the bubbly, cheerful young woman that he remembered so well from his time working for her father. But, a niggling thought reminded him, if those events hadn't happened would he and Zoey be together now? Would he give this up, even to spare her? God he was selfish, he thought even as he answered both questions no.

He set the food on the table and moved toward her, careful to make enough noise to ensure that he didn't startle her. He laid his hand on her shoulder and gently ran it down her arm as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. She let go of the railing and leaned back, pressing herself against his chest.

Sam wrapped his arms around her as she relaxed against him. She seemed content to just stand there, watching the darkening sky and the lights flickering off of the water. He rested his chin on her head as he too stared out at the beach.

He stroked his hand through Zoey's soft hair. What she'd said, what she'd offered, earlier, needed further discussion, yet he didn't know what to say, how to broach the subject. He didn't want Zoey to think that he was rejecting her, on the other hand, if she thought that he'd asked her to come to California with him planning on seducing her…

Zoey drew back slightly, turning so that she could look up at Sam. "Pizza?"

"On the table, probably getting cold." He reluctantly let go of her, gesturing toward the food he'd set out.

She shrugged as she took one of the two seats at the table. "Hot or cold, Pizza is pizza."

Sam held out a chair for Zoey and then sat across from her, watching as she picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite.

"Wow. This is really good!"

He swallowed as Zoey's tongue darted out to swipe at a bit of sauce that clung to the corner of her mouth. "I told you Antonio's food is amazing."

"You did," Zoey agreed, grinning. "Just because you thought it was good pizza didn't mean I was going to like it though. I'm from the East Coast, we know pizza."

Sam arched an eyebrow. "Oh, and Californians don't?"

"New York style," Zoey said, raising one of her own eyebrows.

"California style," he countered.

She crinkled up her nose. "You Californians put such weird things on your pizza. Carrots, peanuts, chicken, even bean sprouts."

He chuckled. "If you feel that strongly, I'm glad I stuck with a nice traditional cheese pizza."

Zoey poured a little dressing on her salad and took a bite, musing over the differences in their childhoods. They'd even eaten different kinds of pizza as children. He'd been so matter of fact while telling her about his sister and her family. She and her sisters fought, sometimes quite a lot, but she couldn't imagine not having them. The idea of growing up without them, finding out about their existence as an adult… She couldn't fathom it.

The relationships Sam's parents must have had, with each other and with him. Her parents adored each other, even when they fought, as they had after her kidnapping, their love for each other was obvious. Their daughters, and now their grandchildren, were their lives. The idea of silent dinners and decades long secrets was dumbfounding. With a childhood like that, how had Sam grown into the wonderful, caring man that he was now?

But then, he probably wondered the same about her, she thought with a smile. Though it had seemed normal to her while growing up, she hadn't exactly had the most normal of childhoods.

"Zo?"

She laid her fork on her now empty plate before meeting Sam's gaze. "Hmm?"

"Where'd you go just now?"

She tilted her head questioningly.

"You seemed to be miles away." But she'd smiled so they'd been happy thoughts, he reassured himself silently.

"I was just remembering family dinners while I was a growing up."

Sam grinned. "Ah, so I'm so boring that I can't hold your attention?"

"Well… I wasn't going to say so. It seemed like such a rude statement." She flipped a lock of hair out of her face.

He glowered at her.

"What?" She asked innocently. "You called yourself boring, I didn't."

He slowly stood up and rounded the table to stand before her. "You agreed," he pointed out.

"Yes."

Sam gently took hold of her arms and pulled her up to stand in front of him. "Am I Zo? Am I boring?"

"Mmm hmm," she mumbled softly.

He ran his left hand up her arms slowly, gliding over her throat to cup her chin. "I didn't hear you."

She stared into his eyes. "Yes."

"Zoey?"

She swallowed hard. "Yes," she repeated, a bit louder.

His hand moved up over her cheek, into her hair, and around to cradle the back of her head. His lips brushed across her forehead, her closed eyelids, her cheek and her lips. Zoey pressed closer, one hand going up to thread through Sam's hair as he deepened the kiss.

When Sam finally drew back to rest his forehead against Zoey's they were both breathing raggedly. He caressed her right arm and massaged her scalp gently.

"Sam, please." She opened her eyes to stare into his. "Make love to me."

'''''''''''''''''''''


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: West Wing and its characters do not belong to me.

Author's Notes: Thanks to JenB for beta reading this for me! Your help is greatly appreciated!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

''''''''''''''''''

"Sam, please." She opened her eyes to stare into his. "Make love to me."

Sam's eyes searched her as he continued his gentle caresses on her arm and scalp. "Are you sure?"

In response, Zoey's lips crashed onto his. One of her hands slid from his hair to stroke down his back. She played with the hem of his shirt for a few seconds before sliding her hand under it. She edged her hand around to his chest, gasping into his mouth as his muscles flexed under her fingers.

Sam ran his hand down her back to cup her bottom. He nipped at her bottom lip as he lifted her, one of his hands stroking her right leg, gently urging her to wrap both legs around his waist.

He sat her down on the edge of his bed and knelt down before her, reaching out for one of her sneakers. He slipped both the shoe and sock off of her foot, stroking his thumb along her instep.

Zoey's eyes fell shut as she arched her foot into Sam's hand.

He moved his fingers up to her arch as he pulled her other shoe off with his free hand. He pressed a kiss to her ankle, moving upward to stroke along her jean-clad legs. Nudging her sweatshirt up with his nose, he kissed her belly button, his hand coming up to push the shirt up.

Zoey tugged at the snaps on Sam's shirt. She pulled away from his so that she could shove the shirt over his shoulders and down his arms. "Are you sure you're in your forties," she teased, running her hands over the sculpted planes of his chest.

"I could ask the same about your age. I swear you look about seventeen most of the time." In one motion he pulled her sweater over her head and tossed it across the room. "I have to assure myself that this is okay."

"It's more than okay," Zoey said, leaning forward to claim Sam's lips.

Sam pushed her onto her back, hands roaming over her body, the control he'd been firmly holding onto for weeks finally gone.

Zoey clung to him, both of them frantically tearing at their clothing, hands exploring restlessly.

"God, I love you," Sam whispered raggedly, his hand moving up her thigh.

Zoey whimpered and arched into his touch, no longer capable of rational language or thought. She kept her eyes locked on his, almost getting lost in their depth as he slid into her body.

With his last rational thought, Sam paused, staring down into Zoey's eyes. He had to make sure that she was still with him, still okay. The pleasure on her face had him moving deeply within her, desperate for more, desperate for her to come apart in his arms. And then she was sobbing his name, still staring deeply into his eyes.

Afterward Sam gently rolled onto his side, pulling Zoey with him, arms wrapped tightly around her.

Zoey cuddled even closer, nestling against Sam's chest. After a few minutes she lifted her head so that she could meet Sam's eyes. "Thank you," she said softly. "That was… after what happened I didn't think I could ever… thank you."

Sam traced a finger over her kiss swollen lips. "Zoey. We've covered that you don't need to thank me. I love you. More than I imagined I could love, I love you." His hand slid up her cheek to wipe away a tear. "I should be thanking you; for giving me the gift of trusting me more than you've ever trusted anyone. I can't know just how difficult that was for you Zoey."

By now tears were coursing freely down her face. She reached up to dash at them but Sam caught her wrist. He kissed her wrist and the palm of her hand before setting her hand back against the sheet. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before moving to the corner of one eye and on to her cheek, gently kissing away each tear. After the tears were gone, he leaned over to grab a t-shirt off from his nightstand. He carefully pulled it over her head and eased back down against the pillows with her cradled in. He stroked her hair until he felt her breathing turn even in sleep and then closed his own eyes.

''''''''''''''''''''''''

The next morning, Sam slipped into his bedroom and quietly shut the door. Zoey was curled up on her side, her hair splayed across the pillow. He set the tray he was carrying on the nightstand and carefully climbed onto the bed, trying not to disturb her.

He glanced at the clock and smiled. It was 9:30. She had told him that she never slept more than an hour or two and that was after tossing and turning for hours. She'd slept soundly, curled up in his arms all night long. Maybe she was finally going to be able to catch up on some of the sleep she'd lost during the last few years.

He'd been a little worried about nightmares. During the last few weeks she'd had them less often but tension seemed to trigger them. After her reaction to the crowds at the airport, he'd been sure that it was going to be a bad night.

She shifted toward him and the sheet covering her slid down several inches. He ran his hand down the sleeve of the large t-shirt she wore, finally sliding it over to trace the Princeton logo on the front of the shirt. He'd slipped the shirt onto her the night before just in case her agents needed to disturb them for some reason.

Zoey tensed and then one of her hands grabbed his, stilling it. Her eyes opened slowly, apprehensively and then filled with relief when they landed on his. She let her eyes fall closed again as the tension drained from her body.

Shit, Sam thought. "Zoey," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry," Zoey said, opening her eyes. She sat up, self-consciously tugging the sheet up. It's just… sometimes when I wake up it takes me a minute to remember where I am. When I felt your hand just for a second it was like…" she trailed off, looking down. "I'm sorry."

"Remember, last night I told you that you don't need to thank me?"

She nodded.

"You don't have to apologize either. Okay?"

"Okay."

Sam lifted her chin so he could meet her eyes again. "This was your first night here, your first night with me. I should have known you'd be a little disoriented when you woke up. I'm sorry for not thinking about it." He leaned forward to gently kiss her. When he pulled back he gave her a small smile. "Now, while you were lazing the morning away in bed I went to a bakery to get breakfast. We've got orange juice, coffee, croissants, and fresh fruit." He leaned over to grab the tray.

Zoey breathed in deeply. "Those croissants smell yummy."

Sam took a sip of his orange juice. "I called the kennel and made an appointment to pick Rebel up this afternoon. I also need to stop by the market and run a few other errands. Would you like to come along?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Could we try it and if I need to I can come back and you can finish up without me?"

"Of course."

"I'd like that." She grinned. "I can't wait to meet the rebellious dog."

He mock scowled at her. "Impertinent."

Her grin broadened. "What was it Donna used to say to Josh? Oh, yes. Impervious." She laid her orange juice glass on the tray and scooted to the edge of the bed. "I'm going to use your shower."

''''''''''''''''''

Sam pulled the car into the parking lot of the market he preferred. Cars pulled into the slots on either side of him and Zoey's agents stepped out of the vehicles. He climbed out of the car and went around to open the door for Zoey, absently watching as the agents scanned the lot.

They stepped into the store flanked by agents and several checkers glanced at them curiously. Sam chose a basket and headed toward the bakery. As they walked, Zoey eased closer to his side, acutely aware of the attention she was receiving.

Sam tossed a loaf of bread into the basket and continued on to produce, ignoring the stares directed at them.

As Sam selected the ingredients for salad, Zoey turned toward a display of citrus in the corner. She braced her hands on the edge of the counter and closed her eyes, taking in deep even breaths. There really weren't that many people here and at this time of day during the workweek most of them were either elderly or mothers with small children. Not threatening at all. And, even if one of them _did_ want to harm her, with Sam and her protective detail here, she was safe.

"Zo," Sam said softly. After he was sure he had her attention, he gently stroked his hand up her neck, stopping at her chin. He tilted her face toward his and leaned in so that nobody could overhear him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am. For a second I doubted it, but I'm great."

"Good." He toyed with a lock of her hair and pressed a quick, gentle kiss to her lips. The flashes on several cell phone cameras went off, causing Zoey to freeze for several seconds before relaxing into Sam again. "Ready to smile for your fans?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, the fans who've watched every movie I've made."

"I'll get you for the sarcasm later." He tried for menacing but spoiled it by chuckling.

"I'm sooo scared," she taunted before stepping back and turning around. She was pretty sure nearly every customer in the store was now in produce. A few pretended to be examining a product but most didn't even give the pretense of doing anything but staring at her and Sam. She saw several cell phones pointed at her and was pretty sure a few of them were videotaping.

Scanning the crowd, Zoey flashed her biggest grin and sauntered toward the shopping basket Sam had parked a few feet from them. Suddenly the staring, pointing, and whispering weren't bothering her. The entire crowd was smiling and several of them were waving. Just by being here and by being friendly toward them, she'd made their days. They'd be telling the story of seeing her in the grocery for years to come. She'd forgotten that it could feel like this.

Sam set a bag of tomatoes in the basket and took Zoey's hand, moving farther into the store, the growing crowd following behind at a, mostly, discreet distance. After today there wouldn't be much chance of keeping their relationship quiet. These people probably didn't have any idea who he was but a bunch of pictures had already been taken and many more probably would be before they left the store. Within hours the media was going to know Zoey was in California with him.

Zoey dropped some feta cheese into the basket and turned to whisper to Sam. "I think they're multiplying."

He chuckled. "Several of them have slipped toward the back of the crowd to call in reinforcements."

She glanced back at the throng, grinning. Several employees of the store had joined the group. "I wonder if the manager has checked the safety codes to see how many people can be in each section at one time." She laughed. "I doubt he's ever had to check that before."

He shook his head. "You're forgetting that this is Southern California. Celebrity sightings in stores really aren't as uncommon as you'd think."

"So I'm a celebrity now?" She mock pouted. "How come you've never asked me for my autograph?"

He leaned in so that his mouth was only an inch or so from hers. "Why would I need your name on a piece of paper when I've got you, love?"

She closed the distance, gently nibbling on his lip before pulling back. "I love you Sam." Before he could do anything but blink, she'd turned toward the dairy case. She chose several individual yogurts, carefully balancing the stack and she walked back toward the basket. As she went to set them inside, the top yogurt toppled over and rolled a few feet away.

A little girl standing at the edge of an aisle dropped her mother's hand and ran to pick up the yogurt.

The mother called out to her daughter as two of Zoey's agents moved forward the stop the child. Zoey quickly waved the agents off.

"I brought you back your yogurt."

"Thank you." Zoey knelt down next to the child, grateful that she'd decided on jeans instead of a skirt. "What's your name?"

"Allie." She smiled shyly. "You're Zoey."

Zoey nodded.

"My mommy said that your daddy is in charge of the country."

"For a few more weeks he is."

The child nodded wisely. "She said that too. Your daddy's done a lot of good stuff."

Zoey smiled wistfully. "Yes, he has."

"That must be so cool."

"Yes, I guess it is." Impulsively, she reached out to draw the girl forward for a hug. "Thank you," she said again. She stood back up and dropped the yogurt into the basket as the grinning little girl ran back to her mother.

Several checkout lanes were open when they reached the front of the store and none had lines. They slipped into the nearest lane and paid for the groceries before heading back to the house.

"So, what's next?" Zoey asked as she helped him store the food in the kitchen.

"I need to pick some things up at the dry cleaners and drop by the rental agency to make arrangements for them to find someone to lease this place. By the time I'm through it should be time to get the dog."

Zoey carefully stacked yogurt in neat rows in the fridge. "I enjoyed grocery shopping." She glanced over her shoulder with a self-deprecating smile. "I guess that proves I don't get out much." She turned back to her task. "It's been years since I've had that much fun in a public place."

"But too much of a good thing is still too much."

"I'm finally starting to feel like me again." She closed the fridge and stood up, taking a few steps closer to Sam. "It feels so good. I don't want to take the chance of losing this feeling, of losing _me _again."

"You're worried about pushing too hard, too fast."

She nodded.

"I understand. I'll do my errands and then we can spend the evening together. You haven't been out on my beach yet."

"That sounds amazing."

"Good." He grabbed his car keys from the counter and gave her a quick kiss. "I'll be home soon."

''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey sank down in the bathtub, sighing in bliss as she breathed in the lavender fragrance of the bubble bath. She leaned against the back of the tub and closed her eyes.

She'd been anxious about this trip, had even thought about calling it off several times. Which, she thought with a grin, would have pleased her parents immensely. That probably was a good part of the reason she was here. She was still striking out against them, especially her father.

When her dad had called the family together to announce that Leo had convinced him to run for president she'd gone from confused, to shocked, to angry in a matter of minutes. How dare her father and Leo make the decision to throw her life, and her sisters' and niece's lives, into chaos without even asking their opinions? After the campaign had started, after she'd really started to see just how affected their lives were going to be, the rage had built but at the same time shed been awed by the whole experience. By the time they'd made it to the White House, the awe had pretty much pushed the rage out. Oh, there had still been times when she'd balked at the public attention, the press scrutiny, the safety precautions, but she'd been proud enough of her father to ignore her other feelings most of the time.

Little by little, her anger had started to creep up on her again. Roslyn started the onslaught but every time her father and the administration were dragged through the press, being torn into pieces, a little more anger oozed back into her. Her mind had whispered that if _he _had decided to run people wouldn't have shot at her boyfriend, if _he _wasn't president they wouldn't be saying such awful things about him and about her mother, about Leo.

She'd started rebelling against all of it. Her clothing, the clubs she chose to hang out in, even her boyfriend, were selected to annoy her father as much as possible. And then she'd been kidnapped. She shuddered, quickly pushing away thoughts of that time. She still wasn't up to thinking about those days, might not ever be up to that.

For several days after she'd been rescued all she'd wanted was her family. And, at first, it had seemed like they all felt the same. Then her father had started talking about taking the presidency back, about the American people needing him more than ever after such a crisis. He hadn't seemed to consider that _she _might need him or that her mother might. Then the pressure had started for her to make an appearance, just a quick one, everyone had assured her. The public needed to know that she was alright. She had wanted to scream that she didn't care what the public needed, that she wasn't alright and didn't want to pretend she was. Instead she'd done as she was told, and had continued to do so for years, while inside the anger, resentment, and fear had built and built.

She'd wanted to come here but her father being against the trip had cinched it. It had taken a small child, a stranger in a grocery store, to make her realize how she was behaving. None of the things that had happened to her had been her father's fault. He had done an amazing job as president, had accomplished so much. She should be proud of him.

As a small child she'd been very close to her father, a real "daddy's girl". She was naïve enough to think they could get back there in an instant. It would take time and work but now, for the first time in years she felt like it was possible. She might be able to have her daddy back, finally.

She heard a car door slam outside and dog bark. Sam was home. After stepping out of the tub she wrapped a towel around herself. She thought about going out to meet Sam like this but instead went to her suitcase. A couple of her agents had been with her from the beginning and the others had been on her detail for awhile. At least two of her agents were on duty at any given time and they had to stay pretty close to her. They followed her into public restrooms and stood directly outside the stall, they stood with her sisters or friends as she modeled clothing at stores, they'd even come into her bedroom while she slept when there were threats or other security concerns. Yet she still blushed at the thought of being less than modest in their presence. Who was she kidding? They knew where she'd slept last night.

She quickly pulled on a pair of leggings, a sweater, and her sneakers and after running her brush through her hair, went looking for Sam. She found him on the floor in the family room with his dog sprawled out in front of him, legs kicking in the air while Sam scratched his stomach.

At her footsteps, Sam looked up and smiled. He reached out with his free hand, beckoning her to join him. As she approached the dog looked up, cocking his head, but made no move to stop her. She dropped down next to them, curling her legs under her.

Sam gently tugged on a damp lock of hair. "Did you have a nice bath?"

She nodded. "I love your tub. Actually, I love your whole bathroom."

He raised an eyebrow in question.

"The bathrooms in the Residence are nothing to sneeze at but your bathroom here is huge and that tub is breathtaking. You could hold a party in it."

"Which is probably what it was built for."

Zoey's eyes widened and she blushed when she realized the innuendo in her own words.

Sam chuckled and leaned forward to kiss her.

The dog, obviously not happy at being forgotten, let out a low, playful growl.

"Rebel, sit."

After the dog had responded, Sam gestured toward Zoey. "Rebel this is Zoey."

Rebel held out his paw and Zoey laughed as she reached out to shake it. "It's nice to meet you." He gave a small yip as if in agreement.

She released his paw and reached out to scratch his ears. "What kind of dog is he?"

Sam shrugged. "I got him from the shelter. He was born there but by the time I got him his mother had already been adopted. The manager said she thought he might be part lab with a bit of hound and who knows what else thrown in."

"He's cute."

Rebel gave another yip of agreement.

She chuckled. "Smart too."

"My sister Olivia called me a little while ago. She invited us over for dinner tomorrow. Her husband gets off work at 5:00 and they usually have dinner at about 6:30. I thought, if you're okay with going, that we could spend most of the day packing and leave at about 4:30."

"Like I told you last night, I'd like to meet your sister. Dinner with her family sounds fun. I'd love to go."

"Good. I'll call her back while you spend some time with Rebel." He patted the dog's head. "After being in the kennel so long I doubt he'll allow us to leave him alone any time soon."

"Will he be going to Olivia's with us tomorrow?"

"Probably. The girls adore him so I usually take him along. They would have loved to have kept him while I was out of town but their cats aren't as fond of him as they are," he said with a grin.

"I'm sure," Zoey said with a chuckle.

"I also need to call my agent. What would you think about making dinner together after my calls?"

"I'd like that."

He stood up. "I'll be back in a bit."

''''''''''''''''


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: The West Wing doesn't belong to me. I'm not making any money off from this story.

Author's Notes: This chapter contains graphic references to past rape. If you're not comfortable reading that part, skip the first scene.

Thanks to JenB for all of her betaing help!

''''''''''''''''

Zoey turned, trying to escape the sunlight streaming in through the patio doors as she awakened. The arms wrapped around her tightened slightly and pulled her back against a strong chest. Her breath caught and she went still for a moment before remembering where she was and who she was with. She relaxed against him, loving the feel of his arms around her. He was still asleep. She could feel the slow rise and fall of his chest against her back and his warm, even breaths fanning her neck.

She opened her eyes and glanced at the clock on Sam's bedside table. 6:30. Early, considering that this was a vacation. Yet she found that she wasn't tired. She was _always _tired. Even when it was impossible to sleep, she was exhausted. She would awaken from a couple of hours sleep wishing for a few hours more but knowing her body wouldn't cooperate. Now, this morning, she felt full of energy, rested.

Gently easing out of Sam's arms, Zoey raised herself up on her elbow to gaze down at him. She could hardly believe that it had only been a month since he had returned to her life. In the past she'd always taken her relationships much slower. Going across country with a man she'd been dating a month wouldn't have occurred to her. After all that had happened and how hard it had become for her to trust, she would have expected her reactions to Sam even less. She trusted him. For the first time since the kidnapping she could completely relax and let her guard down and _know_ that the person she was with wouldn't harm her or allow her to be hurt.

She ran her fingers through his soft hair. It was getting a bit longer than he usually kept it, making him look younger, more rugged somehow. She smiled slightly to herself. Maybe he could be convinced to allow it to keep growing for a little while. She stroked her hand down the side of his face, unable to stop herself from moving down to his chest. As she played with the sprinkling of hair covering his chest, she pressed light kisses to the corners of his mouth before finally covering his lips with her own.

Sam was slowly coming awake beneath her. She could almost feel the sleep ebbing out of him as he responded to her. His tongue slid into her mouth and a hand burrowed into her hair, forcing her even closer to him.

Zoey broke away from him, kissing along his jaw and nipping at the tense cords of his neck. Her hands moved over his abdomen as she pressed open mouthed kisses over his chest. She closed her teeth over a nipple, grinning when he gasped her name.

Her hand glided lower, teasing along the waist of his pajama bottoms, barely allowing her fingers to graze the skin under the elastic band.

"Zoey." He reached out to pull her back up to him and was slightly surprised when she playfully slapped his hands away, shaking her head at him. After a few seconds debate, he laid his hands onto the bed, curling his fingers into the sheet as she slowly eased his pants down, raining random kisses onto his flesh. This new aggressive Zoey was a surprise. The last couple of nights she had been passionate but content to have him take the lead.

She cupped him and stroked a thumb along his length, grinning when he gasped and pushed against her hand. Leaning forward, she kissed his tip and paused, her eyes lifting to meet his.

For the first time that morning, Sam saw vulnerability and uncertainty in Zoey's eyes. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she continued to stare up at him. He lifted a hand up to cradle her chin as his thumb eased her lip free. His other hand tangled in her hair, gently massaging as he awaited the battle waging within her.

Zoey tried to bite down on her lip but Sam's thumb stopped her, ever so slowly caressing the tender flesh. Her eyes dropped shut. She'd thought she was ready for this. Thought she could do this, wanted to do this, for Sam, and for herself. One more memory that she could banish and replace.

Steadying herself with a deep breath, Zoey eased forward again. Every time memories of what had happened kept her from doing something she wanted to do, they won just a little more control over her. That wasn't something she was going to allow any longer.

Her mouth was suddenly on him. His body went ridged as he forced himself to stay still and allow her to set her own pace. He dropped his hand from her hair, clenching it in the bedding instead.

"Please, Zo." As he begged, his hands shoved her nightshirt up, cupping her hips and trying to move her toward him.

Zoey's mouth found his as he shifted her beneath him.

"That was amazing," Sam said awhile later, cuddling Zoey against him. "You are amazing."

She buried her face against his shoulder. "I didn't know if I was doing it right." She swallowed. "I… I've only done it once. When I was taken, the leader…"

He gently rubbed circles over her back. When she'd hesitated earlier he'd suspected that this might be the reason. He debated stopping her, distracting her, so that she wouldn't have to relive more of this memory than she already had. As she started to speak, he forced himself to stay silent, hoping fervently that it was the right decision.

"It was so different from this morning. I think the whole purpose was to degrade me. He made me kneel in front of him while his friends laughed and taunted in their language. He had to have known that I hadn't done that before but there was no patience. He just used force to make me do what he wanted. One of the guys had a gun pointed at me. The whole time I wondered if that was going to be the second he decided to pull the trigger. I almost wanted him to." She swallowed hard as she felt tears running down her cheeks. "Afterward I was sick. I just couldn't help it. They all just laughed harder and started gesturing for me to clean it up."

Sam cringed, pretty sure how the bastards had wanted her to clean it up.

"I don't know how I managed to do it without being sick again. For the rest of my time there I could barely breathe. It was all I could smell, all I could taste." She gave a short laugh. "Somehow it didn't seem to bother them. Nothing seemed to bother them enough to make them stay away from me." She tried to swallow back a sob but was no longer able to.

Sam smoothed his hand over her hair, easing it out of her face. He kissed her forehead and traced his lips down to her ear, crooning nonsensically to her as she continued to sob. He'd never been a violent man but if he could be alone with one of her kidnappers now, that would change. To take out their anger at a father on his young daughter in such vicious ways, Sam couldn't even fathom. This was by far the most that Zoey had been able to share with him from that time. He had the feeling that this was a pleasant memory compared to some of the others they'd forced upon her.

When she'd quieted, Sam eased her back against the pillows and started to slide from the bed.

Zoey panicked, digging her nails into his forearm as she tried to keep him with her.

Sam instantly moved toward her again. "Shh, Zo. It's okay. I'm not leaving. I just need to get something." He eased back again, waiting to see how she'd react. Her eyes followed him as he crossed to his bathroom and stayed glued to him until he'd made his way back to her.

He perched on the edge of the bed and carefully ran a wet cloth over her face. This was a breakthrough, a breakthrough that she needed, he reminded himself. In the long run this would help with her recovery. Even as he _knew _those things, it was hard to believe them while he watched her breakdown like this.

He laid the cloth on the edge of the bed and combed his fingers through her long hair. "How about a shower and then breakfast? Or we could go for a jog on the beach?"

"Would you mind if we save the beach for later? I think I'd like to take a shower now."

"A shower it is. Shall I make breakfast while you take your shower? I could make omelets."

Zoey looked down at the bedspread, tracing the design with her index finger.

"What is it Zoey?" When she said nothing, he went on. "You don't have to be shy with me, Zo. You can always tell me anything you're thinking or feeling."

"An omelet sounds wonderful but I'd rather you stay with me." She met his eyes. "Take a shower with me. We can make breakfast afterward."

With a nod, Sam stood up, holding out his hand to her.

'''''''''''''''''''

Zoey sat on a stool at the counter smiling as she watched Sam slide omelets onto plates. Rebel came to nudge his head against her leg and Zoey reached down to pat his head.

Sam set their plates on the table along with a bowl of fresh fruit and glasses of juice. "Rebel," he called. "Out." He opened the French doors and the dog bounded outside.

"For a rebellious dog he sure listens well." She returned his glare with a sweet smile. "You can just let him out like that? He won't leave the property or go down to the beach?" She made her way to the sink to wash her hands before taking a seat at the table.

"The beach is private so I don't care if he visits it. He knows not to go into the water or leave the property."

She took a bite of her omelet. "This is yummy. I never knew you could cook."

He shrugged. "I didn't either until I moved here. At home with my parents there was always the housekeeper and on her nights off takeout. During college I subsisted on peanut butter sandwiches and ramen noodles eaten in front of my computer."

"And during your time working for my father you barely had time to eat at all let alone cook it yourself."

"Exactly. My first several weeks back in California were taken up with my Congressional campaign. After I'd lost, decided to stay, and purchased this place, I was at a bit of a loss. For years, I'd been constantly on the go. Suddenly I had hours of free time on my hands. One day I decided I was tired of living on Chinese and pizza." He shrugged again. "Cooking really isn't that hard."

She laughed. "For me it is. Trust me; you don't want to eat anything I've cooked."

"Your dad hasn't shared his chili recipe with you?"

"He keeps telling us that he would but then he'd have to have the Secret Service kill us." She chuckled. "He's very protective of that recipe. We can't even be in the room while he makes that chili. Liz plays around every once in a while, trying to figure it out. She'll give samples to Dad thinking she's finally gotten it but he says she isn't even close." She sipped her juice. "I tried cooking a little in my teens, before the campaign, and ended up nearly failing home ec."

Sam arched an eyebrow. "During the first campaign you were Little Miss Know-It-All."

"I know. I had to have been annoying; all those random facts about the cities and states, the elected officials we were meeting, the celebrities campaigning with us."

He shook his head, grinning. "Not annoying; just your father's daughter. I wouldn't have expected you to have taken a class you weren't sure you could excel in."

"Normally I wouldn't have. I was a freshman and a parent had to go with me to an appointment with my councilor to help select my classes. We had to cancel my first appointment because Dad had a meeting and Mom was called into an emergency surgery. By the time we were able to reschedule, my elective choices were home ec or wrestling."

"You would have been cute in one of those little outfits."

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe but I wouldn't have had a chance. Some of those girls were scary."

"It could have been an interesting image to try to sell during the campaign." He picked up his plate and walked it to the sink. "Bartlett's Little Princess holding a classmate in a chokehold."

"If I'd been Bartlett's Little Prince America would've been rooting me on." She set her own dishes into the sink.

"Probably."

She leaned back against the counter as Sam quickly rinsed their dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. "That was one of the hardest things to get used to as Dad became better and better known in New Hampshire and then nationally. People had such set images in their minds of what was appropriate for me, and for my sisters and Annie as well. Gus is still young enough that he's escaped most of it."

"I've heard it said that being part of the First Family is like living in a fish bowl."

"Dad has always thrived on it and Liz never really minded the attention." She rolled her eyes. "Doug seems to love introducing himself as President Bartlett's son-in-law. And Mom… Mom supported the politics because it made Dad happy and even though it wasn't the life she would have chosen for herself, I think she enjoyed the social part of it all."

He closed the dishwasher and turned toward Zoey. "You and Ellie were different though."

"Yeah. Neither of us liked the crowds or the attention. Ellie didn't even try to pretend she did. She went to college and med school and stayed out of the politics as much as she could. But then, Ellie was always closer to Mom than Dad. I had always been Daddy's girl and so I tried to be what he, and almost everyone else, expected me to be."

"I never would have guessed that it was a persona. It seemed so real."

She gave him a small smile before pushing away from the counter. "That's the point of an act, isn't? Make your audience believe in it." She turned toward the patio, where the dog was waiting patiently. "Shall I let Rebel back inside?"

"Sure."

"You said yesterday that you'd like to start going through things today."

"Yes. I'd like to ship the first few boxes tomorrow. Salvation Army is coming next week to pick up whatever I decide not to keep."

"What are you going to do about the furniture?"

"There are a few pieces I want to keep. Liv said that she'd store them for me. The rest will go to Salvation Army. I thought I'd start in the guest rooms. There's probably some stuff to take to the girls tonight." He started toward the hall.

When he opened the door to the first room, Zoey raised an eyebrow. Flat boxes leaned against the wall and a stack of old newspapers sat beside them with a roll of masking tape on top.

"I picked up packing supplies while I was out yesterday."

"Where should we start?"

"You don't have to help me, Zo. I have quite a few books lying around," he said with a smile. "There's also a large collection of DVDs."

She shrugged and started to turn away. "Oh, well, if you'd prefer to spend the day alone, I could always find something to entertain myself. Maybe see if there's enough sun to get a tan out on your beach."

He caught her arm. "You know I'd love for you to help me. I just wanted to make sure you know that I don't expect it."

"I want to."

"Okay." He handed her a box. "Would you pack up the books? We'll take them to the girls tonight. I'm sure they have a lot of them but I have no idea which ones." He opened the closet to reveal several plastic storage boxes. At Zoey's curious look, he shrugged. "My mom gave these to me when I moved back to California. I haven't had a chance to go through them."

Zoey unfolded the box and sat cross-legged on the floor, carefully stacking books as she watched Sam take the first of the storage containers out of the closet.

Sam took the lid off of the plastic container and stared down into the box.

"What's inside?" Zoey asked curiously.

"My mother apparently kept some of my stuff from childhood." At the top of the box was a teddy bear he'd been inseparable from when he was a small child. He could remember begging to take it to his first day of Kindergarten and his father saying that big boys don't need security animals. That was the last time he'd seen the bear. He was a bit surprised that his mother had stood up to his father enough to rescue the toy from being thrown away. He laid the toy aside to put in a box to ship to DC. Eventually, he'd have a child to pass it on to.

Next came a stack of papers from his elementary school days. He leafed through report cards, class photos, art projects, and tests. At an essay on "Who I Admire Most…" he paused. Thinking back, he could remember the day this assignment was given in third grade. Like most of his classmates, he'd chosen to write about his father. Hopefully unlike most of his classmates he'd fabricated nearly everything he'd written. The essays had been displayed at an open school event and then sent home. Both of his parents had read it but neither had commented.

Zoey added the last of the books to the box and turned toward Sam. Papers were strewn around him but he'd been staring at the one in his hand for the last few minutes. "Hey," she called softly.

Sam laid the essay down and turned to Zoey.

"You okay? You seemed a bit lost there."

He grabbed a box and set the papers inside. "My mother saved some of my schoolwork. I was just reading through one of the essays."

"Correcting your punctuation?" she teased.

He smiled, shaking his head. "That's Toby's job."

"Still?"

"Not officially but I still email him my manuscripts before sending them to my editor. I guess I got used to listening to his opinions and criticisms. And I think he'd be hurt if I stopped at this point."

She nodded and gestured to the empty bookshelf. "Would you like me to start on the toy box?"

"Please." He turned back to the plastic box in front of him. Before he could remove anything more, his cell phone rang. He pulled it from his jeans pocket. "Seaborn."

"Good morning Sam."

"Hey CJ. What's up?"

CJ put her phone on speaker and leaned back in her chair. "I take it you haven't seen a newspaper or television news this morning."

"No. What happened?"

"Find a paper."

"Is there a specific paper I should look for?" he asked cautiously.

She glanced at the pile of newspapers on her desk. "Not really. I'm sure the local paper there has the same front page story as most of the big papers do. Actually, the big papers probably got the story from them."

Sam met Zoey's eyes. "They have pictures of us."

"Yes," CJ said. She picked up the LA Times and glanced at the picture of Sam and Zoey kissing that graced the cover. "You two sure haven't kept a low profile."

"I wasn't aware that we needed to."

CJ grinned at the warning tone in Sam's voice. "You don't." Her smile melted and she hesitated, setting the paper back on her desk as she groped for words. "However, I would have expected that it would be easier on Zoey if you had. She didn't seem very… comfortable with the crowd at the restaurant the day we all went out."

"She was more comfortable with the crowd than some of our _friends_," he said sharply.

"Yes, well, you had to have known that all of the reactions to your relationship weren't going to be favorable. It was very unexpected to all of us. It's going to take time to get used to."

"I don't care if it takes people time to get used to my relationship as long as they respect the fact that Zoey and I are both adults and are both capable of making our own decisions. I have no control over what people think but they will leave the two of us alone." He paused. "What are the newspapers reporting?"

"The papers, and several news programs, are running the pictures, along with quotes from witnesses who claim to have seen you and Zoey out shopping yesterday. They're saying that the two of you were all over each other and are obviously involved in a romantic relationship. The papers then remind the readers of the kidnapping and give a brief history of your career, playing up the fact that you worked for Zoey's father for several years."

"And the television programs?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair.

"Not much from them yet. Right now everyone is pretty much reporting the bare facts with very little speculation. That'll come tonight. We got questions during the morning briefing but we're stalling on answering for now."

"Thanks."

"We won't be able to stall forever."

"I know. Let me discuss all of this with Zoey."

"Fine. Oh, you might want to have her call her parents. They're both very concerned about how she is going to handle all of this attention. Mrs. Bartlett is barely managing to keep the President from hopping on Airforce One and going after Zoey."

"He could call," Sam said with a smile.

She laughed. "He'd love to. When Zoey went with you, Abbey forbid him from contacting her in any way. She said that if Zoey needed them, she'd call, or they'd be notified through the Secret Service." She winced at her last words. "Not that there's much chance that they'd need to be notified."

"No, there's not," he agreed. "I'll have her call."

"Thank you. He's been difficult this morning."

"I can imagine," he said with a laugh. "I'll talk to you soon." He closed and pocketed the phone. "The press has the story."

"Yesterday, when I saw the cameras, I knew it would be soon."

"CJ said that most of the big papers are running pictures. They're also expecting it to be covered on the entertainment shows this evening. Right now they're sticking to the basics but there will probably be some speculation soon."

"There always is," Zoey said softly. "The facts are never enough."

"CJ wanted to know how you and I would like to handle this." At Zoey's curious look, Sam went on. "We might be able to control the spin if we release a statement."

Zoey absently fiddled with the string on a yoyo. "What were you thinking?"

"We could have the White House confirm our relationship and that you are here helping me prepare to move back to DC. They'd also make it clear that your parents have been aware of the relationship for a while and have given their blessing."

"That simple?"

He nodded. "CJ might want to add a few lines but we want to keep it short and pointed. These are our lives, this is our relationship. We want to keep it private. It won't kill all of the rumors and speculation but hopefully it will help keep some of it at bay." He paused. "Later, we might consider also doing an interview."

"The statement is fine but I'm not sure about an interview. I've only done one, with my mother, since the kidnapping. I'm not sure I can handle rehashing it publicly again."

"We'll wait and see if an interview is necessary. If it is, we can set down ground rules such as no questions about the abduction," he promised.

She nodded.

He smiled. "CJ also requested that you call your father. He's apparently driving everyone crazy worrying about you. Your mom grounded him from calling you."

She sniggered. "Poor Daddy."

"While you call him, I'm going to run to the gas station to get as many different newspapers as I can."

"Have to make sure the cameras caught your good side?" she teased.

"Good side?" he asked, holding back a smile. "I don't have anything but."

"No, you don't," Zoey agreed, standing up to kiss his cheek. "Hurry. I want to see if they captured _my _good side."

Sam chuckled as he headed out the door.

'''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey stared at her reflection in the mirror, running her comb through her hair. She dropped the comb into her purse and tucked the mirror back into the visor. "You're sure this is okay?"

Sam sent her a quick glance before turning back to the road. "You look amazing Zoey. And if you didn't, what could you do about it now?"

She glared at him before glancing down at her outfit. "I guess I just feel weird meeting your sister for the first time dressed so casually."

"Liv is very informal. The girls will be eating with us and I can guarantee that they'll be dressed in jeans and character shirts or sweaters."

"I know, I'm being silly," Zoey said with a smile.

"No, you're not. You're expressing what you're used to, what you grew up with. It's what I grew up with as well. There's no way I would have been allowed to have dinner with adult guests at my nieces' ages and certainly not dressed as we are now. Liv wasn't raised in the same worlds we were and she's determined to give her girls the same type of childhood she enjoyed."

Zoey raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, that didn't sound so good. Despite my father's behavior, Liv had a happy childhood. She had no idea he had another family until roughly the same time I found out, several years ago, after he had a heart attack."

"He was different with her than with you," Zoey guessed softly.

"Yes." He shrugged. "Maybe he treated me as he did because I'm male or maybe it was his love for Liv's mother that made her special. I've stopped caring." He turned onto a residential street and quickly turned again before pulling in front of a two story house. The car following them pulled up behind them and Zoey and Sam both waited patiently for the agents to exit their vehicle first.

Sam took Zoey's hand as they trailed up the path behind the agents and mounted the steps to the front porch. Zoey stared out at the neatly trimmed lawn lined with beds filled with a kaleidoscope of flowers. Sam ran his thumb over her knuckles as Zoey's agent Brian rang the doorbell.

From inside they could hear running footsteps and children's voices arguing followed by the metallic sound of locks clicking.

"Uncle Sam!" The door was thrown open and two little girls launched themselves at Sam. Used to that greeting, Sam automatically knelt and opened his arms.

Zoey grinned down at the three while her agents stepped into the house. The girls were talking over each other so quickly that she couldn't understand a word they were saying. Finally Sam drew back, shushing the children with one look. She'd have to get him to teach her that trick to use on Gus.

"Tricia, Amanda, this is my friend Zoey." He laid his hand on the shorter child's curly brown hair. "Zo, this is Amanda." Next he gently tugged on her sister's long locks. "And this is Tricia." The children both smiled shyly, the younger one leaning in closer to her uncle while her sister took a step forward.

"Hi."

"Hi Tricia. It's nice to meet you." She looked down at Amanda. "I like your shirt."

"Thank you. Snow White is my favorite."

Zoey studied the princesses on Amanda's shirt. "I really like her too. Her movie was one of my favorites as a kid."

"My favorite is Cinderella," Tricia offered.

"That's an awesome movie too. I love the singing mice."

Amanda took a hesitant step away from her uncle. "Do you want to come in?"

Tricia nodded. "Mommy and Daddy are finishing dinner. Daddy said we should show you in."

"And offer you drinks," Amanda added.

Seeing Brian's nod, Zoey took Amanda's proffered hand. "I'd love to see your house."

"You _have _to see my room," Amanda gushed. "I have all of the princesses all over."

"You have to see my room too."

"But mine first."

Before Tricia could argue, Zoey reached for her hand. "I'd love to see both of your rooms. I'm sure they're as awesome as you both are."

"I'm going to go find Liv and Grant," Sam told Zoey before looking down at the girls. "Be nice to Zoey.

Tricia rolled her eyes. "What do you think we're gonna do, lock her in a closet? Of course we'll be nice."

Sam quickly glanced back at Zoey but she just chuckled before the girls dragged her toward the stairs. He fought the urge to follow them. His nieces were good kids and they hadn't meant anything by what they'd said. He very much doubted that either of them knew anything of Zoey's past. After a few seconds of silent debate, he turned toward the kitchen, smiling at the sounds of Zoey and the children giggling as they raced up the stairs.

As he opened the kitchen door, his sister Olivia looked over her shoulder to smile at him. She gave her spaghetti sauce one last stir and laid the wooden spoon aside before wrapping her arms around him. "I've missed you big brother."

He laughed as he returned the hug. "We've talked on the phone and emailed several times since I've been gone."

Olivia's husband Grant dumped shredded carrot into the salad he was preparing. "Including a call yesterday."

"Emails and phone calls aren't quite the same. Oh well, I guess I'll get used to it again."

"There will be plenty of visits. My agent is in L.A. after all."

She smiled slyly. "And maybe we'll be invited back east. Perhaps for a special event."

Grant chuckled while Sam blinked at her. "You shouldn't tease your brother Liv. It isn't nice."

"But it's fun."

"Where is the lovely Miss Bartlett?" Grant asked.

"I believe she's getting a guided tour of every toy in the house."

"It wasn't very nice of you to abandon her to them," Olivia scolded, going back to stirring the sauce.

"She'll hold her own. Her own niece and nephew are a handful."

"Mmm. Yes. I've seen some of the latest pictures of Annie Weston. Blue hair and a pierced nose."

"Something tells me Zoey might have done the same thing at sixteen if Abbey wasn't quite so frightening."

"The First Lady is scarier than the President?" Grant asked in surprise.

"To Zoey, yes, I think so; to me, they're both terrifying." He grabbed a pot holder and pulled the garlic bread from the oven.

"How do they feel about your relationship with Zoey?" Olivia asked.

"I'm not the man they'd choose for her but they've accepted that it isn't their choice, but Zoey's." He hesitated, trying to decide how much to reveal to them. "You both know that Zoey has been through a lot. The last few years have been more difficult for her than the public has been allowed to know. I think that at this point they'd accept nearly anyone if they believed that person could help Zoey find happiness."

"Nearly anyone?"

"Zoey's ex boyfriend would be killed before he was a hundred feet from her."

Olivia's eyes widened at the sudden harshness in her brother's tone.

"The guy she was dating at the time of the… incident?" Grant asked. "The French Prince?"

Sam selected a knife and sliced it through the bread. "Yes."

"I remember hearing speculation about his possible involvement," Grant mused. "He was never arrested and the Bartlett administration and the FBI denied it so I assumed it was just gossip."

"A lot of things were kept hush-hush, in part to protect Zoey but, in this case, also to protect diplomatic relations with France. The Idiot Prince wasn't actually a part of the plan to abduct Zoey. His selfishness and stupidity did make the plan easier to carry out." At the confusion on their faces, he said bluntly, "He drugged her."

"And if he hadn't, she would have had quicker responses and might have been able to get help," Olivia surmised. "How has Zoey taken that? I would think it would make it hard to trust anyone, particularly men."

Sam sighed. "It has. We've been slowly working through that and other issues."

Olivia hesitated. She and her brother were pretty close, especially considering that they'd only known each other for a few years, but in this she wasn't sure how far she'd get away with going. Yet she felt that the things she was thinking needed to be voiced, even if it angered her brother. Someone had to play Devil's Advocate. "There seems to be quite a bit of baggage involved here."

Sam tossed the knife in the sink and turned to face his sister.

"Are you sure it's worth it, Sam? That _she's _worth it? Her father's Presidency will end and the media attention will fade but will it ever fully go away? If she marries the press will probably send helicopters to hover over the wedding. They'll be there for every big thing in her life to capture her reaction and the reactions of her husband and children."

Grant started to interrupt but a look from his wife had him grabbing the salad and heading for the dining room.

"You are an amazing writer but you're just starting to make a name for yourself as a novelist. With your second book about to be released and your third in edit, do you want to chance people attributing your success to a relationship with America's Princess? Are you willing to chance waking up in ten years, or twenty, and wondering yourself if you would have done as well without America's curiosity over Zoey and loyalty to her family?"

She paused for breath, barely able to continue as she studied the stony expression on Sam's face. Even after only a few years she didn't think she could handle losing her brother. God, she hoped it didn't come to that.

"There are just so many issues, Sam, and they should be considered." She hesitated for another few seconds. "The few things you've said have me wondering if she's even emotionally stable enough for a relationship."

"I'm still here in this room, hell, in this house, because you're my sister. But being my sister will get you only a finite amount of leniency. If you repeat any of the things you've said here to Zoey or anyone else besides Grant, you'll no longer be in my life and depending on what is said I may sue you for slander."

"You know I'd never say anything like that to Zoey or speak with the press."

"I thought I knew what you'd say and do. I was wrong."

"I didn't mean any harm Sam but someone had to say the things I did. You need to think about it, really think about it. From what you've said and what I've heard in the press over the years, Zoey sounds like a great young woman but the picture you were just painting is of a wounded bird. You're a nurturer by nature. Are you sure it is Zoey you are drawn to, not the injured sparrow in need of healing?"

Sam took a deep breath and pushed back his anger. "At first it was the injured sparrow. When we met again at Leo McGarry's funeral she was like a crushed flower everyone was too busy to notice. I couldn't get her fragility and the haunted look in her eyes out of my mind. As I spent more time with her that sparrow began to disappear. Everyday I see more and more of the old Zoey returning. It hasn't been easy and it won't suddenly become so but is it worth it? Yes. I've never felt like this Liv. I didn't expect it to be Zoey Bartlett I'd eventually fall in love with but it happened and I'm fine with it. I'm more than fine with it."

"I'm glad." She chuckled. "I know it's clichéd but all I've ever wanted for you was happiness. I just had to make sure it was real, that you'd thought about the issues that are going to come up and what people are going to say. What they're already starting to say. I can see that you have."

"I have. I've spent hours thinking about all of the things you pointed out and more, many of those hours before I even started dating Zoey. She's definitely worth it."

"Good." With a grin, she reached for the bread. "I should probably let Grant know that we haven't killed each other."

"And I should rescue Zoey." He waited a few seconds, watching his sister move toward the dining room door. "Liv?"

Olivia paused, glancing back over her shoulder.

"Thank you."

She shrugged. "Annoying their brothers is what sisters are for."

"I'm still grateful you're willing to do it."

"You'd do it for me."

"Yeah, I would."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"I told you they are informal," Sam said, turning back onto the freeway several hours later.

"You did. They're great Sam." She stared out the window at the beautiful night sky for a few moments before letting her eyes fall closed. The evening had gone much smoother than she'd imagined, with his family accepting her much easier than hers had accepted him. Oh, there'd been the curiosity and questions that she was so used to, particularly from the girls, but it had been genuine and well-meaning. It was doubtful she'd ever meet anyone who didn't want to know what living in the White House was like and just how much freedom her family had had to actually _live _there. A teeny part of her wished that her father had just a little longer in office. Tricia and Amanda would have loved coming to Washington to visit with their uncle and get a private tour of the White House.

Maybe they'd eventually come to see Sam in New Hampshire. They'd probably enjoy meeting her father even once he was out of office and most kids would fall in love with the farm with its' acres of land to run free on and vast quantity of gentle animals to play with or ride. They'd love running wild with Gus, who knew all the secret hiding places and mischief the farm had to offer. She held back a chuckle. Even she and her sisters hadn't found half the things to get in to while living on the farm that her nephew had during his visits. He was about Tricia's age. It would be interesting to watch them interact as they got older. Wouldn't Sam love that?

"You're awfully quiet."

"I'm just tired," she said softly, not opening her eyes. "I really did have a wonderful time."

"It's been a long day." And an eventful one, he added silently, thinking about their conversation that morning.

Zoey covered a yawn. "It was worth it."

"Yes," Sam agreed. "It's worth it."

''''''''''''''''


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: The West Wing and its' characters do not belong to me.

Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who took the time to review. I'm glad you're still enjoying the story!

Thanks to JenB for beta reading this!

'''''''''''''''''''''''

"There you are." Sam wrapped his arms around Zoey. "I was concerned when I couldn't find you after my shower." He smiled against her hair. "I guess I should have known you couldn't have gone far, not with part of your detail still up at the house."

Zoey turned in his arms. "Even with my detail I wouldn't go far. I'd miss you too much. I'm a little fond of you."

"Just a little?"

She pretended to think a moment before nodding.

"How little?"

She held two fingers close together near their faces. "Just the teeniest bit."

Sam turned just enough to nip at her fingers.

Rebel, who had been sunning himself a few feet away, let out a low growl.

"You have another protector," Sam said with a chuckle. At her quizzical look, he went on, "Rebel doesn't realize we're playing. Apparently, he's added you to the small group of people he's willing to protect, even from me." He mock glared at the dog. "Traitor. You've forgotten who buys your food."

"Ah. Your doggy hurt your feelings. Poor Sammy." She patted his cheek.

He turned his glare on her. "Sammy?"

She grinned.

"Am I a little boy Zo?"

"Well, Sammy _is_ a little boy's name."

"I'm not a child Zoey."

"Really? What if I say that you are?"

He suddenly pulled her flush against him. "I guess I'll have to prove I'm not." His mouth crashed onto hers as one hand burrowed in her hair and the other stroked over her back. After a few moments he reluctantly drew back, resting his forehead against hers. "If we stay out here much longer we'll have company."

"Is it that late?"

He glanced at his watch. "It's almost ten."

She looked back out at the ocean. "I wish we could pack this beach and take it home with us."

He chuckled. "It would certainly be interesting to try to fit in our luggage but the water might ruin our clothing. We'll be back. I'm just leasing, not selling."

With one last look at the water, Zoey turned toward the house.

Sam grinned as they stepped into the house to hear the doorbell ringing. "Perfect timing."

"It was locked," Tricia accused as Sam opened the door.

"You aren't supposed to just walk in anyway," her mom reminded her.

"Uncle Sam doesn't mind," Amanda defended.

"And it took him long enough to answer," Tricia said with a glare for him. "I didn't think we'd ever get inside unless we let ourselves in."

"Sorry honey. We were taking a walk on the beach and lost track of the time. Come in."

Sam led them to the living room. The girls dropped down onto the floor to play with Rebel while the adults settled on the furniture.

"You're becoming quite the star."

Sam rolled his eyes. "We've been watching the entertainment shows." He and Zoey had had the media's attention for the last week. The White House had released a statement the day after the story broke but it hadn't dampened the press enthusiasm like he'd hoped it would.

Reporters and photographers had been camped out at the edge of Sam's property for days. Helicopters circled overhead at regular intervals throughout the day hoping to catch a glimpse of one or both of them. Whenever they left the property a line of paparazzi would follow behind. Neither of them would comment or answer questions but they couldn't stop the photographers from snapping pictures that never seemed to quench America's thirst for more.

Every evening they could watch a recounting of their relationship on the local news and CJ reported that it was the same all around the country. The entertainment shows and late night comedians were more creative. They'd invented speculation that had Sam and Zoey both shaking their heads at the audaciousness and had come up with more mid-life crisis jokes than either of them had imagined existed.

"I've received several calls from reporters hoping I'd dish."

Zoey's eyes widened.

"Relax; I haven't done it and that won't be changing. I've told everyone who called that my brother is a private citizen, as are you, and you have a right to keep your relationship private."

Grant chuckled. "It was funny to see the disappointment and annoyance on some of their faces when the Secret Service let us past the gate."

"They've been trying to get in for days," Sam said. "None of them have managed. Thank God for Secret Service details."

"As annoying as they can be, I've been grateful for their presence the last several days," Zoey agreed.

"You're going to have an interesting time driving across country dogged by the paparazzi."

"My father's been trying to convince us to fly back. He says he'll have someone bring Sam's car to him."

"So when is the flight?" Grant asked curiously. This was the first he and Liv had heard of it. When they'd come today they'd been under the impression that Sam and Zoey were heading out early the next morning.

"I admit that it would probably be easier to give in and fly back but it would also be letting the press attention control our actions. I'm through letting others control me," Zoey replied.

"We'll be driving out tomorrow morning," Sam said.

"How long do you think the trip is going to take?" Olivia asked.

Sam shrugged. "We're not planning on pushing it."

"We thought we'd enjoy some of the scenery along the way," Zoey added. "During my father's campaigns, when we were traveling across the country, we were so rushed that we couldn't explore or enjoy the sights."

"Our only goal is to be back in DC by Christmas," Sam explained as the doorbell began to ring. "Ah. The Salvation Army has arrived."

A few minutes later he returned from the door followed by a woman and two men. He quickly introduced them to the group, holding back his smile at their obvious awe at meeting Zoey. He was just starting to get used to that reaction.

"We tagged all of the furniture, boxes, and appliances with post-its. Blue means whatever it is goes with you." He glanced at his sister. "You'll be taking the things with the yellow tags."

The woman, Cindy, nodded. "They told us to bring a large truck."

"Yes. A good share of the furniture will be going with you as will most of the kitchen stuff and some other things."

He'd thought about hiring a moving van to take his belongings to DC but had discarded the idea pretty quickly. This house was much bigger than the apartment he was leasing and the two places were laid out differently so his furniture needs wouldn't be the same. He'd also considered leasing the house furnished or storing all of the furniture but both options would cause a lot of hassle for him to deal with later. In the end, he'd chosen his favorite pieces and had asked Liv to store them, with the exception of a couple of items he was having shipped to DC. The rest would go toward helping the less fortunate.

Cindy glanced around the room, taking in the blue notes sticking to the majority of the furnishings. "That's very generous of you. Well try to stay out of your way as much as possible. Is there a specific order you'd like us to follow while we clear the rooms?"

"I'll show you through the house. You can start with the guest bedrooms, do the living room, and finish up in here. There are also some things on the patio for you to take. You will not be going into the master bedroom suite. I'm keeping everything in there."

"Okay. Like I said, we'll try to stay out of your way as much as we can."

Sam waved her off, smiling. "Don't worry about that. I asked you guys to come here. You aren't inconveniencing us. If you need help with anything just let me know. Come on, I'll show you the house."

She nodded. "Again, thank you."

"There'll be a list online by tomorrow detailing the items Sam donated," Grant predicted.

"And probably an item or two on EBay," Olivia added.

"Oh yeah," Zoey agreed. "Not that it matters much. We were very careful when we packed everything up. We checked and double checked the boxes for donation. There shouldn't be any surprises accidentally in the wrong box."

"It must be strange having to always worry about that. I've donated stuff to the Salvation Army many times and never given it a second thought."

"I know it should seem strange to me but it doesn't. My family has never been able to give stuff to charity even when I was a little girl, not without going through an assistant or something so no one would know where the things came from. Every item would be scrutinized and our choice of charity would be picked apart."

"Like if you gave to a cancer charity people would think you have cancer?" Tricia asked from her spot on the floor.

"Something like that."

"So are they gonna think Uncle Sam is in the army?" Amanda asked curiously.

All three adults started laughing.

"No sweetheart," Grant answered. "The Salvation Army isn't the same as the regular army."

"They're like a church group," Tricia informed her sister before glancing between the adults. "Right?"

"Right," Olivia confirmed. She turned back to Zoey. "You sound so matter of fact about all of it. I don't think I could."

Zoey shrugged. "It's all I've ever known, or at least all that I can remember."

"I imagine that would make it easier. It would have to be surreal to enter the kind of life you lead during adulthood."

"Yes," Zoey agreed. "I know you must be concerned about Sam."

Olivia nodded.

"He spent years in DC," Zoey reminded her. "And went through two Presidential campaigns with my father and his own Congressional race. I doubt he'll have much difficulty re-acclimating to something that he was so used to."

"Plus neither Zoey nor myself will be running for anything." Sam retook his seat on the sofa next to Zoey. "The President will be out of office in a few weeks. People won't suddenly lose all interest the second Santos is inaugurated but slowly their attention will be refocused. I'll be fine, Liv, I promise."

Olivia smiled. "I know. It's just hard not to worry. It's a mother's instinct to fret over everyone we care about."

Zoey snickered. "My mom says the same thing."

"She may say that but your father frets more than your mother ever could," Sam said with a chuckle.

"He's been like that since we were little. One of us would get a cold and Mom would shrug, hand us orange juice, and insist that we'd be fine in a few days. Dad would check our temperature every half-hour and try to make us stay in bed while he force fed us chicken soup."

"My mom would pretty much do what your dad did," Olivia said.

"My parents both worked but my grandmother kept me if I was sick. That's pretty much how she handled it," Grant said.

"What did your mommy and daddy do Uncle Sam?" Amanda asked.

"They would leave me to the housekeeper. Dad said he couldn't afford to get sick and not be his best at the office and that if Mom had germs she might share them with him."

"Oh. Mommy's and Daddy's aren't supposed to do that."

"Parents are all different Mandy," Grant said gently. "Just because it isn't what Mommy and I do when you're sick doesn't make it wrong, just different."

"They still should have loved him when he was sick," she said stubbornly.

Zoey knelt down next to the little girl. "How about this? Next time Uncle Sam is sick, I'll take care of him."

"You'll love him better like Mommy does me?"

"I'll love him better," Zoey promised. She held out her hand. "Pinky swear."

Amanda giggled and linked her pinky with Zoey's.

Sam smiled at Zoey and then turned to Grant. "I want to check to make sure

Cindy and the guys aren't snooping through anything not being given to them and then we should starting loading the things you guys are taking."

Olivia stood. "What can I do?"

"Would you mind finishing the kitchen? We haven't gotten to the food or utensils."

Zoey also stood. "I'll help."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. The President's Princess cleaning out a fridge was not exactly a scene she'd thought she'd see, or really, one she'd thought would ever happen. Zoey was full of surprises. She wasn't at all the spoiled, pampered creature that Olivia had expected her to be. The more time she spent with Zoey, the more she thought that just maybe, Zoey was the right woman for her big brother. "Thanks," she said.

'''''''''''''''''''''''


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Author's Note: As always, thanks to JenB for beta reading for me!

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"Good morning," Donna said as she stepped into Josh's office.

Josh smirked. "Now when have I heard that before?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe a couple of hours ago."

After glancing toward the door to make sure that it was firmly closed and the blinds on the windows hadn't been opened, he reached up for her wrist to pull her down to his lap. "How's your day going so far?"

"Good. Mrs. Santos and I went for another tour of the Residence and East Wing. She's finally starting to get over her awe enough to start thinking of decorating. We're taking the kids tomorrow so that they can help with their rooms. I saw Dr. Bartlett while I was there."

He twirled a lock of hair around his finger. "How is everyone doing?"

"Well, Ellie and Vic are expecting their first baby. Both President and Dr. Bartlett are over the moon at the prospect of another grandchild to spoil."

Josh snorted. "As if they're the ones doing the spoiling."

"Abbey invited us to a Christmas party they're holding in the Residence on the 22nd. She said it will be small; just the family, a few members of the Senior Staff, and some friends."

"Zoey and Sam," he said flatly.

"Yes."

"Tell her we have plans."

"Plans." When he nodded, she went on, "Sam is your best friend Josh."

"No, he _was _my best friend."

"He makes one decision you don't like and that is enough for you to end a close to twenty year friendship. What a wonderful friend you are Joshua Lyman." She stood up, glaring down at him. "So loyal and understanding."

"I've been loyal and understanding. I stood by Sam through how many girlfriends? I even supported him through the hooker – I'm sorry, _call girl_,fiasco. This I can't support. Even if the rest of you can just sit back and watch while he strokes his ego with Zoey, I can't. She's been through enough. Until Sam decides to go back to his life and leave Zoey alone our friendship is over."

"Oh, right, that's not going to hurt her."

He suddenly stood up, thrusting his hand through his hair. "Damn it, Donna. Of course it'll hurt her. But not as much now as it will in a few months or a year. Sam's relationships never last long term. Even his engagement ended badly."

"Josh, anytime someone opens themselves up completely to another person there is the potential for pain, the potential that it won't work out. There's no guarantee that our relationship is forever. One or both of us could be hurt. Does that mean that we shouldn't try?" As he started to shake his head, she went on. "And don't tell me it's different. It's really not. You don't think Sam has any business dating Zoey. There are a lot of people who don't think it's appropriate for you to date your former assistant. You don't want those people passing judgment on things that they really don't understand. Don't you think that Sam should have that same courtesy?"

Josh started to disagree and then clenched his teeth shut.

"I'm not asking you to approve. I just want you to tolerate it and give them a chance. Sam might just prove you wrong. Maybe Zoey is just what he's been waiting for and the reason all of those other relationships didn't work out was that the women weren't her." She grinned. "I seem to recall another man who went through women like socks until the right one came along."

With a reluctant sigh, Josh nodded. "Tell Abbey that we'll be at the party."

"Thank you." She started to press a kiss to his cheek but he caught her chin in his hand, turning her face so that their mouths were inches apart.

"A kiss to the cheek. What a thank you," he said teasingly. "You can do better than that." With that, his mouth covered hers.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey stared out the window of Sam's car at the countryside around them. This was their second day on the road and they were somewhere in Texas. It was very different traveling across country without a tour bus or motorcade. For the first time since young childhood, she could actually be anonymous. Riding beside Sam in the car, sun glasses on her face, no one recognized her. That morning they'd even gotten breakfast at a fast food restaurant, the employees completely unaware of whom they were serving.

The agents traveling with them, four in a car ahead of them, four in a car directly behind, seemed to be enjoying the anonymity almost as much as she was. Dressed in blue jeans and t-shirts, no shades in sight, _she_ could barely identify them as federal agents.

She knew from reading that morning's _Times _that the ruse they'd come up with the day before was working. Grant and Olivia had taken Sam's car to their house, faking problems starting their own vehicle, which they'd left at Sam's. Early the next morning a tow truck, driven by a close friend of Grant's, had come for the car. As far as most of America was concerned, Zoey and Sam were both still holed up in his house. Of course eventually someone would decide that it was strange that Sam's car hadn't been returned and would start to ask questions but she'd worry about that later. With luck maybe they'd be in DC before it happened.

"What'cha thinking about?"

Zoey turned to smile at Sam. "Just how lucky I am to have found you."

Sam chuckled. "I think that's usually the guy's line. I know in this case it is."

Before Zoey could respond her cell phone rang. She glanced at the display and with a roll of her eyes for Sam, answered.

"Good morning Dad."

"Hi baby. How's the trip going?"

"Very well, which I'm sure is the report you've gotten from my agents."

Instead of confirming her suspicion, Jed changed the subject. "I talked to Gus last night. Annie wasn't home." Here Zoey could hear disgust. "Out on a double date."

Zoey grinned. "If her mom okayed the guy I'm sure it was fine. Despite her outward rebellions, Annie's a good kid."

Jed sighed. "Yeah, she is, but I still don't love the idea. It seems like you've all just grown up so fast."

"I know but you've still got Gus, and soon you'll have Ellie's baby. What did you and Gus talk about last night?"

"Christmas, Christmas, and more Christmas. He can't wait for Christmas. They've already started decorating their house, his school, and church. Are we decorating the White House yet? He can't wait to see it one more time. When are we going to New Hampshire? Do we get to cut down our own tree again?" Finally he had to pause for breath.

Zoey chuckled at the imitation of her nephew. "Any indication of what he wants?"

"Video games whose names I can't remember. CJ advised me that a Game Crazy gift card works well."

"I'll keep that in mind. Are they coming to the White House and then going to the farm with us or meeting us there?"

"They're coming here day after tomorrow. On the 22nd we're having a Christmas party in the Residence. Just a small group, mostly people who've been with us since the beginning. Then we'll fly out the next morning."

Zoey glanced at Sam. "The family, of course, will be expected to attend this party."

"Of course."

"Will it just be current staffers?"

"If you want to know if Josh is invited, ask."

"Ok. Is he?"

"Invited, and as of twenty minutes ago, RSVPed."

Zoey hesitated. "Certain people, including Josh, aren't exactly thrilled about my relationship with Sam. It might be better if we spend that evening at Sam's place."

"No," Jed said firmly. "Everyone invited knows that this is a family event, not an official one. To be asked to attend means that they are counted as personal friends of this family. If any member of this family, or a guest of any member of this family, is unacceptable to any of them, they are welcome to stay home." He sighed before speaking more softly. "I didn't make a secret of the fact that I was upset about your relationship with Sam at first."

"No, you didn't."

"I have said many times that all that I want for any of my daughters, and now, for my grandchildren, is for them to be happy. If Sam can make you happy, he's acceptable to me and better be acceptable to everyone else."

"Thank you Daddy."

"If he makes you unhappy there isn't anywhere far enough for him to hide from me."

She laughed. "I'll be sure to pass that on but you don't need to worry." She met Sam's eyes for a split second before he turned back to the road. "He makes me happier than I can ever remember being."

Jed swallowed at the sound of his daughter's voice. He'd heard a similar tone twice now. Once several years ago, and then several months ago. The last of his babies was in love. "I know honey, I know." He cleared his throat. "So, you and Sam will attend the party?"

She laughed. "Yes Daddy, you've convinced me."

"Good. Now my next appointment should be arriving so I'll let you go. Tell Sam to make sure he's driving safely with my little girl. I love you."

"I love you too Daddy." She closed the phone and slipped it back into her pocket.

"So, we're attending a party?"

Zoey sighed. "Dad couldn't be convinced that it isn't a good idea. He says that the guests will just have to deal with our relationship or stay home."

"But you're not as convinced as he is?"

"No."

"Neither am I. I'm sure both Josh and Charlie will have been invited. If she thinks Josh might cause a scene, Donna will persuade him into staying home." He hesitated. "Charlie I've been concerned about since the night of the dinner." He met her eyes again. "He's still in love with you."

"I know. After…everything, I really thought about us and how we could make it work. I don't think we ever could. If the shooting hadn't happened, maybe we could have, I don't know. I realized that Charlie was still interested in me and I did everything I could to get him to see that all we will ever be is friends. I don't think I was as successful as I'd hoped." She paused. "You never did tell me much about what happened that night, while I was in the restroom."

"It's more what almost happened. If Will hadn't stepped in, it would have come to blows between Charlie and me, probably with Josh jumping in."

Zoey winced. "Wouldn't the tabloids have loved that?"

"CJ's reaction exactly."

"He's probably been fuming since then, just waiting for the right time for a confrontation. With us gone there hasn't been an opportunity." She thought for a few minutes. "Charlie wouldn't normally do anything that would upset or embarrass my father. He'd go out of his way to keep from making a scene if he thought it would reflect badly on Dad."

"But this isn't a normal situation. If he's as upset as you think, his emotions might take over, especially after a drink or two."

"Maybe we could get lost and not be back in DC by the 22nd?"

He laughed. "The agents have GPS. We're following them."

"We could break into their car in the middle of the night and disable it?"

"Guard outside our room would catch us."

"We could fake a fight so I could ride with them and spill something on the GPS?"

"The two cars would switch positions so the one that still had GPS was leading."

"Oh well. I tried."

He chuckled and reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze. "It won't be that bad Zo. Josh and Charlie will both be on their best behavior and if either of them does decide to make a scene, someone will step in. But if you're concerned, we could just spend the evening at my place. I'll talk to your dad."

"No. It's his last, or at least one of his last, chances to entertain at the White House. He should have his whole family there."

"If it gets to be too much you'll tell me? We can slip away for a while."

She nodded while silently praying that this party would go well and for once she could be the Zoey she'd once been and actually enjoy a party.

'''''''''''''''''''''''


	15. Chapter 15

Pain (15/?)

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Author's Notes: Thanks to my beta, JenB!

''''''''''''''''''

"We could just wait until the party," Zoey suggested.

Sam chuckled. "Are you that anxious to extend your break from your parents?"

"Aren't all grown children?"

He cupped her chin and gently raised her head so he could meet her eyes. "Zo."

"I've enjoyed this," she said softly. She waved her hand to encompass the park around them. "No one here is paying any attention to us. We're just a couple having a picnic. Once we get back in the car, we're what, a half hour away from DC."

"You're not sure you're ready to step back into the fishbowl."

"I can't remember ever experiencing freedom like this. Even as a child I was never completely anonymous. The past several days have been… amazing."

He linked the fingers of their hands together. "We don't have to go back. We could get another hotel room, go back to California, or even tour Europe. We could slip into my apartment and turn our phones off. It's all up to you Zoey. I don't care what we do or where, as long as we are together."

She reflexively glanced around the park to make sure her agents, still in jeans and t-shirts, were in their designated spots before meeting his gaze again. "I love you Sam."

"No more than I love you," he whispered, leaning in to brush his lips against hers.

"Europe would be fun. A country inn in Ireland for Christmas. New Years in Paris."

He held up his cell phone. "Travel agent?"

With a sigh she shook her head. "Daddy would never forgive you. And mom might kill me the next time she saw me. I guess we're just going to have to suck it up and stay here."

"We could go to the party tomorrow evening, support the last few weeks of the administration, and then fade into the background for the rest of our lives."

"Fade into the background?" She grinned. "How are you going to fade into the background Mr. best selling author?"

"A couple biographical paragraphs on my jackets, an occasional magazine interview, some book signings and we're good."

"So we could live on a farm in Iowa or a cabin in Alaska and hide out in between books?" she teased.

"Or in a beach house in California."

"You're really going to miss it aren't you?"

"I'm a California boy at heart but I grew fond of the east coast during Bartlet for America. Living here again won't be a problem."

"Have you given any thought to my father's offer?"

Sam arched an eyebrow in surprise. "You know about that?"

"Mom mentioned it."

"We discussed it. That was before he found out about our relationship however. I'm not sure if the offer is still on the table."

"If he asks again are you going to accept?"

"Do you want me to?"

She hesitated for a few moments. "It would be good for your career; it wouldn't be fair for me to ask you not to do it. Actually, I think it would be interesting to read your interpretation of my dad's life."

"I'd have to stay with your parents on the farm for a while. I think your father is envisioning this being a major collaboration between the two of us." He squeezed her hand. "Are you sure you'd be comfortable with that?"

Zoey grinned. "You showed me your turf. I guess it'd be my turn to show you mine."

"I've been to the farm before," Sam reminded her. "Besides, we're going there for Christmas."

"You really think a few days at a time is long enough to see the farm? Do you know how much acreage Daddy has?" She chuckled. "We girls had a few secrets as kids. And Gus has found an unlimited supply of mischief there."

Letting go of her left hand, he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you going to share all of your secrets with me? All of the farm's secrets?"

"Do you want me to?" she asked softly, searching his eyes.

His thumb traced a slow path from her wrist to her palm. "I want to hear whatever you want to tell me, see whatever you want to show me."

"I want to share everything with you."

"You will," he promised.

"Excuse me," Brian, Zoey's lead agent, said. "I'm sorry to interrupt but we've been here for an hour. I don't like being in a location that can't be completely secured for a prolonged period of time."

Sam glanced at his watch. As Brian had said, an hour has passed. His original intention had been to stay only long enough to eat and allow Rebel to get a bit of exercise. He'd gotten a little distracted.

Zoey began repacking their supplies. "Five minutes?"

Brian nodded and headed back to his spot several feet away.

"Where are we going when we leave here?" Sam asked, putting a lid on the dog's food dish.

"Your apartment, please? I just want to be Zoey for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I'll go back to being the First Daughter."

"I like that idea," he said with a grin.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Down," Sam said, clipping Rebel's leash to his collar. The dog hopped out of the car and Sam slammed the door. "Heal." He turned to look at Zoey, who was leaning against the side of the car, eyes closed. Quickly slipping the loop of the leash to his wrist, he moved toward her. "Zoey?" He rested his hands on her shoulders.

She opened her eyes and gave a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. Just tired. I didn't sleep well last night."

"I know." He'd noticed her restlessness throughout the night. Every time he'd thought she'd finally fallen asleep she'd start tossing and turning again. This was the first time since they'd begun sleeping together that she had had any difficulty, making him wonder if being back in DC was the trigger. At least she hadn't had any nightmares. "Do you want to go home? Maybe nap for a couple of hours before we see your parents?"

"No. We're here now and they knew we were coming; they'd be disappointed if we left."

They were barely inside the residence before Abbey found them. She wrapped her arms around Zoey in a tight hug and then stepped back again, holding her daughter at arms length to scrutinize her.

"You've gained a few pounds."

Sam chuckled. "Something only another woman would dare to say."

Abbey ignored him. "You look good sweetheart. I guess the California sun agrees with you."

"Unfortunately I didn't get to experience much sun. It was cold and rainy most days." She grinned. "It was wonderful."

"Good. You deserved to have a relaxing vacation. And who is this?" she asked, gesturing to the dog.

"Dr. Bartlet, this is my dog, Rebel. Rebel, friend."

Wagging his tail, the dog moved closer to Abbey, looking up at her as if asking to be petted.

"I hope its okay that we brought him. I wasn't comfortable leaving him alone in the apartment quiet so soon."

Abbey scratched behind Rebel's ears. "It isn't a problem at all. You're a very good boy, aren't you Rebel?" She looked between the two humans, still stroking the dog. "I had lunch prepared for us. Jed is in a meeting but he's going to join us as soon as he can get away." She began walking toward the kitchen with the others following. "The two of you are planning to dress for the party here?"

"Yes," Zoey said. "Sam's things are in the car."

"I'll make arrangements for a kennel to be brought inside for Rebel."

"Thank you," Sam said.

"When are Ellie and Liz arriving?"

"Liz, Doug, and the kids flew in yesterday. She took the kids to do some shopping. I have no idea what Doug is doing. Ellie and Vic will be here in a couple of hours."

"I was hoping for some time with them before the party." She shrugged. "I guess we'll have some time together at the farm over the holiday."

Abbey smiled. "Your father is excited; his entire family together at home."

"It doesn't happen often," Zoey told Sam.

"Not nearly often enough," Jed said from the doorway. "With Annie so close to college, it will probably get rarer."

"Daddy." Zoey jumped up from the table.

One arm still wrapped around his daughter, Jed shook Sam's hand. "How was the road trip?"

"Uneventful."

"Even peaceful," Zoey added with a smile. "I'm still a little surprised the press hasn't discovered that we're home."

"You've finally figured out how to evade them."

Zoey rolled her eyes at her father's observation. "Just in time for you to leave office. It would have been a nice skill to have earlier." She smiled wryly. "We've finally adapted to this lifestyle after years of practice and it's almost over."

Abbey nodded. "I thought the day Jed left office would be the happiest of my life. The closer we get, the more I realize that there are actually going to be things I miss about all of this."

"Yes," Zoey said softly, wondering for probably the millionth time how she was going to cope without Secret Service protection.

"There are things I'm more than ready to be away from too," Abbey said, with a smile.

The president grinned. "And people."

Sam's fingers itched to be holding a pin. With every statement made, more questions popped into his head. President Bartlett's memoir would sell well but the family's account of this time period in their lives would be equally popular. So much of their daily lives right now would fascinate the public.

Of course, as much as he'd love to write that story, it would never happen. Zoey would never consent to it. And really, why should she? Even asking it of her would be unfair. She'd given up enough of her life to her father's ambitions and the public's curiosity.

With a sigh, Jed shook his head. "A few more weeks and it'll all be over." He turned to Sam. "It really feels like just a few days ago we were touring the country in a bus, long shots being lead by Leo's faith."

Sam chuckled. "And Josh's drive."

"You were all so young and idealistic."

"Are you calling me old?" Sam arched an eyebrow. "I could out swim and out run any of your interns."

"Did Daddy hurt your ego?" Zoey kissed his check. "All better."

He turned a faux glare toward her. "Are you mocking me?"

"Yep," she said cheerfully.

Sam held back a laugh. "You're lucky I love you."

"I know," she said softly.

"And so am I." He leaned closer to feather a kiss to her lips, catching the president's blanch out of the corner of his eye. He ignored it. The older man was going to have to get used to it; hopefully he'd be witnessing exchanges like that one for many years to come.

Jed took a final bite and rose. "If you will excuse me, I have another meeting. I'll see you all at the party." Without giving anyone a chance to respond, he moved toward the door.

Would that ever get easier? He'd seen his daughter and Sam together. He'd seen them show physical affection toward each other. Hell, the two had gone cross country together. He knew through the Secret Service that they'd shared a room in hotels and assumed that they'd done the same at Sam's house. Yet every time Sam touched his little girl he wanted to grab the man and throw him across the room.

He'd given his blessing. He wouldn't recant that. Couldn't recant it. Not after seeing the light in Zoey's eyes when she looked at Sam or after hearing the trust in her voice when she spoke to him or even _of _him. For the first time in years his daughter felt secure. He would never take that from her.

Yet he couldn't shake the regret. This wasn't the way things were supposed to be. Just as he had with his older two daughters, he'd imagined Zoey's life many times as he rocked her in her infancy. He'd wanted everything for his girls; an amazing childhood, the best schools up through college and grad school, a successful career. As they'd grown, he'd refined his dreams for them as they developed their personalities. Zoey had been his happy, bubbly little girl. She'd made friends with everyone she met. He'd pictured her breaking a string of hearts through high school and college before finally settling down with Mr. Perfect.

Never had it occurred to him that his dreams could go so drastically wrong. His decisions had created the circumstances that had led to the life his daughter was leading. He had caused the light in her eyes to dim, her bubbly laughter to die, her very spirit to fade away.

And now one of the last men he would have ever imagined his little girl with, seemed to be the only person who could save her. But knowing and accepting were two different things, he thought as he stepped into the Oval Office. Acceptance wasn't going to come easy, for him or for others.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"We can still escape out a side door."

Zoey drew in a deep breath, releasing it slowly as she forced the fingers clutching the sleeve of Sam's suit jacket to relax. She managed a thin smile. "No." After a final calming breath, she linked her fingers with Sam's and led him to the party.

A few friends and supporters, Sam thought wryly as he glanced around the room. The President's guest list may have been short but someone on the staff had apparently had other ideas. There had to be a hundred people here. Of course, it was difficult to narrow a guest list. Inevitably someone would feel like they'd been slighted.

"Sam, Zoey." Donna smiled brightly as she approached them, Josh following reluctantly behind her. "How was the trip?" She gave each of them a hug.

"It was great," Zoey said. "Even in winter the California coast is gorgeous."

"Good. A break from DC is nice once in a while."

From his spot a few feet away, Josh rolled his eyes. "President Elect Santos apparently feels the same way. He's making me take a vacation."

Sam chuckled. "Good for him. After a campaign like that one, you need it."

Josh scowled. "I don't need it."

"Maybe I do."

Josh's face softened slightly at his girlfriend's words. "That's the only reason I agreed to it." He looked back at Sam. "He insists that I take two weeks. The first will be spent in Florida. Then we're going to Hawaii for a week."

"I'll bet your mother is ecstatic."

Donna grinned. "She's called a couple of times a day since we told her. She's making an itinerary of things we have to do while we're there."

Josh met Sam's eyes. "I need someone to run the transition office while I'm gone."

"Have your deputy do it."

"He hasn't agreed to take the job yet."

"It isn't happening Josh, no matter how much you push."

"Come on Sam. Just give it a try, a few weeks, maybe a couple of months. You can quit if you still don't want the job. You've had your time away. It's time for you to step back into the arena." He thought for a few moments. "If we play this right, we could still get you into public office like we used to discuss." His gaze shifted to Zoey. "If we can keep a degree of spotlight…"

"No," Sam interrupted. Zoey had begun to go pale so he reached for her hand giving it a squeeze. "It isn't happening," he said again. He looked back at Josh. "Enough. My political career is over. End of story."

Josh opened his mouth to continue his argument but stopped to glare at Donna after she pinched his arm.

"Guys," CJ said as she joined them. She eyed the group as her greeting was returned stiffly. "Everything okay?"

"We were just discussing possible career opportunities for Sam."

She raised an eyebrow. "I was under the impression that Sam is very happy with the career decisions he's made."

"I am," Sam agreed. "If you'll excuse us, I see an old friend I'd like to speak with." Still holding tightly to her hand, he gently eased Zoey across the room.

"He isn't you."

"You think I don't know that Ceej? He has so much potential. He's more like Jed Bartlet and Matt Santos than I could dream of being."

"But that isn't what he wants," CJ said softly.

"He did want it," Josh argued. "He's lost sight of his dreams. He'll regret it later if we can't get him to see them again."

"If _you _can't get him to see Mi Amore," CJ corrected. "You're alone on this one."

"Fine," Josh ground out. He looked between the two women. "You win. For now." He pulled his cell phone out. "I have a few calls to make."

"Josh is right; Sam _did _want the future that Josh still wants for him. Somewhere along the way Sam changed." CJ sighed. "I think we all did, accept maybe Josh."

Donna shook her head. "Josh did too." She hesitated. "It's hard to explain. He's still just as driven as he's always been yet he isn't. The shooting, kidnapping, Leo; it all got to him as much as it did the rest of us. Before all of that he and I never would have worked."

"He's made room in his life to actually live it."

"Yes but he can't imagine ever completely stepping back. He thrives too much on all of this. And he really does feel that with the right president, the right advisors, crucial changes can be made for the good of everyone."

CJ looked across the room where Zoey stood talking with Ellie and Vic, Sam standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders. "Sam's changes were more profound. He's finally found what he needs to be completely happy." She met Donna's eyes. "Coming back to all of this would crush her and by doing so crush him. Josh has to back off."

Donna's eyes dropped closed. "I'll talk to him. No promises on his reaction though."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Zoey."

She turned slowly, relieved to see Andrea Wyatt.

Andy smiled apologetically. "Sorry if I startled you. I saw Sam headed toward the buffet table and thought I'd keep you company until he returns."

"He has this crazy idea that if he doesn't force feed me at every opportunity I'm going to waste away to nothing," Zoey said with a half smile and an eye roll.

Maybe not so crazy, Andy thought, quickly taking in Zoey's form. "Funny how everyone says women are the nurturers isn't it?"

With a nod, Zoey chuckled.

"I believe Toby extended an invitation for you and Sam to have dinner at our house?"

"Yes, Sam mentioned it right before our trip."

"Have you thought about it?"

"Quite a bit actually," Zoey admitted with a sigh.

Andy's eyes widened. "The twins. I'm sorry Zoey. I didn't even think about what a reminder they must be for you. The four of us could go out…"

"No," Zoey interrupted quickly. "At first I thought about suggesting that but the more I thought about it, and discussed it with Sam… the twins are a reminder; they remind me that even on the worst day of my life something wonderful happened. Nothing can be all bad, there is always at least a little good." She swallowed. "I'd like it if we could come early enough to spend some time with Huck and Molly."

Andy grinned. "I'm a mom; I'll never turn down a chance to show off my incredible offspring."

"We're going to the farm for Christmas but we'll be back in DC for the last few days of December."

"The 29th then?"

"That sounds good. I'll have to check with Sam to be sure."

Andy nodded. "Have him confirm with Toby."

Zoey hesitated. "It will just be the six of us?"

"Of course. I'd never spring a larger group on you without warning. Just you and Sam, Toby, myself, and the children."

"And a contingent of secret service agents," Zoey said with a laugh.

"Ah, I could never forget them," Andy said grinning, letting her eyes wander the room, landing on the various agents stationed around. "Huck will think it is cool. Toby's been watching the Bond movies with him."

"I'll have to warn him that they have no sense of humor – I think it is zapped out of them in training with a secret machine. Annie and I could never even get them to hide with us for "hide n seek" here in the House. And _forget_ playing tag." She waggled her fingers at one of her agents, smirking when he narrowed his eyes.

Near the refreshment table, Sam took a sip of punch. He'd intended to quickly fill a plate of appetizers, get himself and Zoey drinks, and get back to Zoey. When he'd seen Andy join her he'd wondered if he should abandon his mission and go back immediately but he'd decided to give it a few minutes. Now Zoey was smiling and giggling, obviously having a great time with the older woman. The look on her face was almost mischievous. He'd love to know what had put that look on her face but it was so rare to see her so comfortable with anyone but him that there was no way he was going to interfere.

"She looks good."

He met her father's eyes briefly before turning back toward Zoey. "Yes, Sir, she does."

"You're good for her," he admitted softly.

"We're good for each other."

Jed nodded. "You'll be joining us for Christmas?"

"Zoey invited me, yes. I believe she's looking forward to showing me her childhood home from her perspective."

"The only guy she's ever brought home with her is Charlie."

"Is that your way of asking me if I realize how serious Zoey is about me?" Sam asked, looking back at the president.

Jed nodded silently, holding Sam's gaze.

"Your daughter and I are both serious about this relationship." He paused, taking a sip of his drink. "Honestly, on my part at least, it's been serious since before we actually became a couple. There was something about her at Leo's funeral; I knew then that she was it for me."

Jed sucked in a breath at Sam's words. They were so… "final", he whispered.

"Yes," Sam agreed. At least he hoped Zoey felt the same. The president seemed to be digesting his words, or rather, the one word, so he allowed his attention to stray back to Zoey. As if sensing his gaze, she looking up, smiling brightly at him before turning back to reply to whatever Andy was saying.

Clearing his throat to get the younger man's blessing, Jed extended his hand. "I will tell you the same thing I told you before; just don't hurt her, make sure you don't add to her pain."

"As I told you the first time you said that to me, that's the last thing I would do. I love Zoey; her happiness is number one." He glanced over to see Zoey watching him again. "Now, if you'll excuse me Mr. President, I'm going to rejoin your daughter."

Jed smiled. "Of course. Have a good evening. I'll see you on the plane to the farm." He hesitated. "Charlie and his sister will be accompanying us."

"Thank you Sir. I'll make sure Zoey is prepared."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''


	16. Chapter 16

Pain (16/?)

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Author's Note: This chapter is up a few weeks later than planned but at least it is up. Hopefully I'll have the next installment ready soon.

''''''''''''''''

"You sure you want to do this?"

"Of course I'm sure." Zoey grinned. "I suggested it, didn't I?"

With a nod, Sam stepped out of the car, walked around it, and opened the door for Zoey. Her agents had already checked the nearest building and stood close by waiting for her to go inside.

Inside the store, an older couple sat on stools behind a counter looking a bit perplexed. Sam couldn't blame them. Even this close to Christmas their store was probably pretty quiet for the most part. Men in suits sweeping through the building would be a surprise. Even though only an hour from his New Hampshire home, the idea of a visit from a member of the President's family probably had never occurred to them. With some of the rare titles listed on their website, it probably should have.

Zoey immediately moved toward the closest shelf, her eyes moving over the contents slowly.

"Is there anything specific that I can help you find?"

"I'm not really sure what I'm looking for," Zoey admitted, giving the woman a small smile. One, two, three, four…. The woman's eyes widened and Zoey knew that she'd finally been placed.

The woman whispered something to her husband and both made their way around the counter, stopping several feet from Zoey with a weary look at her agents. "If you'd give us some idea of what you'd like to find I'm sure we can come up with a few options for you. You don't want to look through all these old books. Some of them are dusty and all of them are musty."

Sam chuckled. "Oh, she wants to look through them. The dust and must doesn't matter. She's her father's daughter."

Zoey's smile broadened. "He'd love your store. I'm going to have to recommend it to him."

At the idea of a presidential visit, the woman swallowed. "That would be.…" She broke off as if trying to figure out exactly what that would be. "Great," She finally said. "I'm glad you like our store. We'll give you guys some privacy to browse but if you'd like assistance don't hesitate to ask. Between us we have most of our inventory memorized."

"Thank you." Walking deeper into the store, Zoey glanced up at Sam. "Some of these books have been out of print for decades."

The title on the spine closest to him could barely be read because the words were so faded. "I can tell that." Books this old had never been his thing. He much preferred more modern books. "I remember a couple of trips to shops like this with you dad."

"Yeah? I didn't think he'd managed any since he took office. When I was a kid he'd decide every once in a while to pack us girls up and go on a road trip to a bookstore he'd heard about somewhere. Sometimes they were six or seven hours away. Liz hated it and used every excuse she could think of to get out of it from a headache to a research paper she had to work on. Ellie and I loved it though. He bought me an old copy of Winnie the Pooh when I was about seven."

"Do you still have it?"

"It's in my room at the farm. I've tried moving it to DC a few times but it just didn't feel right."

Sam cocked his head, wondering if Zoey would elaborate.

She pulled a book off the shelf and gently flipped through it. "No matter how long I lived in the Residence, it wasn't home. Something that special needed to be at home. Maybe someday somewhere else will be home enough."

"Definitely someday."

Smiling softly at his words, she slipped the book back on the shelf and moved to a new row.

An hour and dozens of books later, Sam held a stack of four books. He was pretty sure Zoey was showing restraint in only choosing the four. Yet she hadn't found what they'd come for; that elusive perfect present for her father. He really didn't envy her or her sisters. Even during their childhoods he would have been a difficult man to choose for. The tie or set of handkerchiefs their friends had undoubtedly bought for their fathers just wouldn't have worked. Now that he'd spent eight years in office and had received hundreds of gifts from dignitaries around the world… the task had only gotten more difficult. Of course, Zoey was overthinking it. Then and now, Jed would be happy with anything his daughter chose for him. Even if he didn't always know how to relate to them and he sometimes got too caught up in his office, Jed's family was his life.

Jed. When did he start thinking of President Bartlet by his first name? Well, actually by his nickname? He couldn't identify the specific first time it'd happened but it must have been during the last couple of weeks. Sometime during the cross country road trip he'd started thinking of Jed as Zoey's father first and his president second.

Zoey's gasp drew his attention and Sam noticed that she had moved several feet away and was gingerly cradling a book in one hand while stroking the other hand over the cover. "Daddy's Christmas gift," she said as she handed it him.

It was a first edition, first printing of a book of letters between John Adams and his family members during his time in office. Even with his penchant for fiction he knew that this would be an interesting read. It was definitely a book he could see the president enjoying, even if it hadn't been a first edition.

"And, I have Ellie's gift as well." From the shelf beside her, she picked up a copy of _Where The Wild Things Are. _

Sam glanced toward the front of the store to be sure the owners weren't listening. "Can't you just buy that one at Barnes and Noble?"

"Yes and no. I could get a copy of this book at a Wal-Mart if I wanted to." She gestured to the front of the book. "It'd have the Caldecott Award emblem on the front. This one doesn't." She gently opened it to show Sam the publication date. "1963. And see the original price -$3.50. This is a first edition first print. Condition isn't perfect but Ellie and the new baby will love it anyway."

Sam's eyes had widened as she pointed out all the book's details. "You really take this seriously."

Zoey grinned as she reminded him, "I am my father's daughter." She started toward the front of the store.

The store owners eyed the stack of books. Sam glanced at Zoey but she didn't seem to notice the mild but well masked surprise on the woman's face. Purchases of this size were apparently not unusual to Zoey. For the first time he wondered how much that book her father had given her when she was five or six had cost. He'd never really thought of the Bartlet girls as spoiled brats, well maybe Liz but certainly not sweet bubbly Zoey who had had polite conversation ready for everyone she met during the first campaign. He'd known that their childhoods were vastly different but this was new information. He'd thought of the household he'd grown up in as affluent but apparently he hadn't had much concept of the word judging from what he was starting to see of the Bartlet family. He was now vaguely worried about Christmas. If these were the sorts of gifts the family would be exchanging, would his present to Zoey be appropriate?

He accepted the bag of tissue wrapped books from the store clerk and stepped back outside. "Do you want to keep going?"

Zoey looked down the strip mall. "I think so. There don't seem to be too many people out and about and I still need to figure something out for Gus."

"You aren't going to just go with a Game Crazy gift certificate?" He teased.

"Absolutely not. That would be the lazy way out."

He arched a brow. "Are you calling your father lazy? I seem to recall you mentioning that he had CJ pick one up for him while she was doing her shopping."

"For someone his age, who also happens to have an incredibly demanding job, it's acceptable. For me, not so much. I'm the cool aunt; if I want to keep that status I have to choose an actual gift and he has to like it."

"Ok cool aunt, any ideas?"

"None. I'll figure something out though. I always do."

''''''''''''''

"Come on, come on, come on!"

Sam cracked one eye open. "Hmmm?"

"Come on! You have to get up!"

Both eyes opened now, Sam glanced at the clock. It was a little after 4am. "Is there a fire?"

"No."

"An intruder?"

"No."

"Are you and I both needed to consult on a national emergency for some odd reason?"

"No."

"I'm going back to sleep then." He closed both eyes and settled back against the pillows. Before he could fall asleep he heard a sigh.

"But it's Christmas."

He let out a sigh of his own. "Go tell your mom that," he grumbled.

Gus poked him. "Everyone has to be awake and downstairs for us to open presents."

Starting to give up on the idea of getting another hour or two of sleep, Sam opened his eyes back up. "Is everyone else already downstairs?" At the child's hesitation before answering he raised his eyebrows.

"Grandpa and Grandma went for a walk. They always do when we're on the farm."

"And besides the secret service members on duty everyone else is still sleeping?" Sam prodded.

"Yes," Gus admitted with a sigh. "My dad said he and my mom will get up after everyone else does. I tried to get Annie up but she threw her pillow at me and said she'd smother me with it if I didn't leave. Aunt Zoey is sleeping and Annie says she never sleeps so I didn't want to wake her up until last. Aunt Ellie's door is locked so I couldn't wake them up."

Why he hadn't thought of that he didn't know. Next time he stayed here he was going to have to remember to lock the bedroom door. "There are other people in the house," he pointed out.

"I'm not allowed to leave this part of the house after bedtime so I can't wake anybody else up."

When they had arrived and Dr. Bartlet had shown him the room he'd be using, he'd been touched that it was in the family wing. On his past visits to the farm he had stayed at the other end of the house, usually sharing a room with Josh or Toby. While the guest rooms in the other wing were nice, they were nothing compared to the rooms reserved for family and close friends. He knew that the Bartlet's were still a bit weary of his relationship with Zoey but inviting him to stay in the family wing was an indication that they were starting to soften significantly toward his and Zoey's relationship. Now, for the first time since they had arrived, he was a little jealous of the people fortunate enough to be staying far away from the little early bird perched on the edge of his bed. "I'll make you a deal." Sam fought to suppress his smile when Gus' face lit up. "If you go lay back down until 6 and try to get a little more rest, I'll help you wake anyone up who is still sleeping at that point, including people sleeping on the other side of the house."

Gus hoped off the bed. "Cool." He grabbed the door handle and Sam winced, convinced that the boy was going to slam the door behind him in his haste to keep their agreement. The child surprised him and at the last second gently closed the door.

His nieces had been his first real exposure to children since his own childhood. During the first campaign he'd spent some time with Zoey but she had been a teenager and a mature teenager at that. Annie had been around a little but usually off to the sidelines with a nanny waiting for the cue to come on stage and look cute for a few moments. He hadn't really interacted with her much. As far as he knew none of the staff had. During Bartlet's first term in office, Annie and Gus had both visited but the visits had been short and infrequent so he hadn't had the chance to do much more than smile at them and say hi, with the exception of one rather intense game of hide and seek instigated by Zoey and Annie.

Now that he was having the opportunity to spend more time with Zoey's niece and nephew, his mind was comparing them to his own nieces. The girls weren't perfect but their behavior was much more pleasant than that of Annie or Gus. Still, considering the fact that the Westin children had much more chaos in their lives than his nieces had, they were relatively well adjusted. Annie was rebellious but at heart she seemed to be a good kid and really what teen didn't have rebellious moments? As he settled back against his pillows considering the two sets of children, he couldn't help but wonder which set his and Zoey's future children would be most like. Would they inherit more traits from his side of the family or from Zoey's?

''''''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey squeezed the monkey, laughing when the squeak the toy emitted caused Rebel to lunge for it. She raised her arms above her head so that the legs were dangling above the dog's face. Rebel stood on his hind legs and leaned closer to Zoey. Laughing even harder, she let go of the toy. "Ok, ok, I give up. You win." After a quick nuzzle against Zoey's hand, the dog took the toy and went to lie down across the room, away from the morning's chaos.

Sam shook his head. "I can't believe you made a Christmas stocking for a dog."

"Hey, he's your dog. You should want him to feel included," she protested.

"As long as he gets a few treats, he'll feel included. Actually wrapping presents and tucking them into a sock wasn't necessary."

She shrugged. "I know it wasn't necessary but it's Christmas so why not? I like Rebel." She glanced around and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Of all the dogs I've ever been around, he's the best trained and the best behaved."

Chuckling, Sam followed her gaze to Gus' dog who was dragging wrapping paper around the room shredding it while Gus and Liz both tried to take it from him. "He likes you too. Now that you've treated him like a human I'm sure he likes you even more," he teased. "You know what this means, right?"

Zoey shook her head.

"He's going to expect a present again next Christmas."

"Ok." Her voice was a bit hesitant. She wasn't quite following Sam's train of thought.

"As much as I like animals, I'm not getting into the habit of buying Christmas presents for a dog." He leaned closer. "I guess that means we're going to have to make sure that you are around to do it."

"Of course," Zoey said with a grin. "We wouldn't want the dog to be disappointed.

"No we wouldn't," Sam replied, giving her a light kiss, mindful of the room full of people.

Across the room, Charlie took a large gulp of his coffee, trying to focus his attention anywhere but on the couple sitting near the tree. He wasn't a big drinker but he found himself wishing that the President would open the bar up. After spending several Christmas' here he knew that that wouldn't be happening until sometime after dinner though. He'd had a while to get used to Zoey's relationship with Sam but time hadn't helped. If it hadn't been for his sister, he would have found an excuse to turn down President and Dr. Bartlet's invitation this year. This had become their Christmas tradition though and Deanna had had enough disappoint in her life. There had been no chance of him taking this trip away from her, no matter how difficult it was for him to stomach watching Zoey with another man.

Sam and Zoey were laughing, obviously happy together, at least for now. The fact that it was Sam made the situation confusing. Over the last several weeks, Charlie hadn't been able to decide whether he should be relieved that Zoey had chosen Sam if she had to choose somebody besides him or if he should be angrier because it was Sam. He knew that Sam would never pull a stunt like the idiot prince had and put Zoey in physical danger. Part of him insisted that that had to count for something. Yet another part of him argued that while Zoey was physically safe with Sam, emotionally she was anything but safe. During Sam's time in DC, he had gone through a string of women. Charlie knew that many of those relationships had been kept very light with no strings attached and even those few that had bordered on serious had ended amicably. Some of the women actually stayed friends with Sam. Zoey's situation was different though. Something that hadn't been damaging at all to others could scar Zoey more than she already was.

If things were different… if Zoey was different maybe he wouldn't feel this way. He knew he was kidding himself. Regardless of the exact details of the situation, he'd feel this way. No matter how many times his mind told him that he and Zoey were over and had been for years, his heart insisted that that could change. A niggling little voice whispered that he and Zoey were meant to be and would find their way back to each other if other people would just stay out of it. The more he listened to it, the louder the voice got.

"Charlie?"

Forcing his attention away from Zoey, he glanced down at his sister who looked faintly annoyed and faintly concerned at the same time. Apparently she had been trying to get his attention for a while. "Sorry." He gave her a small smile. "I was just thinking."

"It must have been something good for you to be that deeply involved." She grinned. "Want to share?"

"I don't think so."

"Oh come on. I won't tell anyone. Promise."

"I know you won't because I'm not telling you." At the instant look of hurt that crossed her face, he sighed. "I'm sorry. That was cruel and I didn't mean it. I know that I could confide something in you and you would keep it confidential. But sweetie, there is nothing to tell. I don't have some deep dark secret. I was just thinking about past Christmases."

"Oh. I thought maybe there was a girl."

"Nope." He grinned. "Maybe all this grilling is projection?"

"You think I'm interested in a girl?"

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I've heard that there might be a guy."

"Who did you hear that from?"

"The same number popped up on the phone bill quite a few times and I've heard a few messages on the answering machine at the house." He raised an eyebrow. "So spill."

She sighed but she was smiling so he knew that she wasn't bothered by his question. "Ok, yes there is a guy but it isn't serious or anything so I wasn't planning on telling you yet." She shrugged. "I figured I'll just see where it goes for a little while."

He nodded. "That is a wise choice." His eyes gaze strayed across the room. "Jumping in with both feet is never a good idea."

"Are you talking from past experience?" She hesitated before going on, speaking quickly before she lost her nerve. "Or are you talking about them?" She nodded toward Zoey and Sam who were romping with Gus and the two dogs. When her brother simply glowered at her, she went on. "You're unhappy about their relationship?"

"She's making a mistake and she isn't even going to realize it until it is too late."

"Why is it a mistake Charlie? Because he isn't you? The two of you tried and it didn't work out."

"That was interference. If we hadn't been shot at we'd still be together, probably married."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yes."

"You should have been able to get through the shooting, leaning on each other for support than."

"Like you are an expert on relationships. You've barely dated and never seriously. You don't get to…"

President Bartlet's booming voice filled the room and Charlie stopped mid-sentence. "The breakfast buffet is ready. Please make your way toward the dining room."

After shooting his sister a final short glare, Charlie headed toward the dining room. As always, the staff had laid out a massive feast. He filled his plate and found a quite spot at the edge of the room. Watching his sister approach Zoey, he clenched his teeth. As much as he adored his baby sister, at this moment he wished for nothing more than to be an only child.

"These cinnamon rolls are amazing. I've been waiting and wishing for them since last Christmas."

Zoey grinned at the young woman. "I know. When I was a kid, I'd beg for Mrs. Allen's rolls throughout the year but my mom insisted that they wouldn't be as special if we could have them as often as we wished so we were limited to Christmas, Easter, and birthday breakfasts if requested."

"Not fun but it does make sense."

Taking a bite of her roll, Zoey nodded. "So how have you been? It feels like forever since I've seen you."

Deanna's smile faded briefly as she remembered the last time she'd seen Zoey; Leo McGarry's funeral. They had spoken but it had been brief and Zoey had seemed very out of it. "I'm doing well." Her grinned returned. "But I think you are doing better."

Zoey chuckled. "Really?"

"You seem happy Zoey. Really happy for the first time in forever."

"I am." She glanced across the room to smile at Sam who was talking with CJ. "Honestly, I had begun to doubt that it was possible for me to be happy but Sam… he makes it easy. Well, easier at least. There are still some rough moments."

"I can't imagine how tough it has been for you trying to deal with everything while also being in the fishbowl. You've shown so much strength dealing with it all as well as you have. I don't think I've ever told you how much I admire you for that. It has always been my goal to grow into the type of person you are." She laughed. "The first year I met you, I wrote in my diary that I wanted you as my older sister. For a while I thought it was going to happen."

"I've always wanted a younger sister. If you want the job…" She shrugged. "I'll warn you though, it isn't all fun and perks. I can be grouchy and annoying. Just ask my older sisters. Some of my quirks really get on Liz's nerves."

"Not Ellie's?"

"Ellie is easier going that Liz. It takes a lot to agitate her."

"Ah." She noticed that Zoey's gaze had strayed toward Sam again. "You really surprised the world with that one."

Zoey's laugh was loud enough that Sam arched a questing brow at her. "I surprised myself. I'm pretty sure that Sam was pretty surprised too. It just happened, totally unexpected by either of us. I've never been so happy about a surprise. Even though it has only been two and a half months, it feels like it has been going on forever."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"That answer was fast."

"I don't have to think about it. It just is. I never knew love could feel like this. Eventually you'll know what I'm talking about. You'll meet someone or catch up with someone you haven't seen in a while and it will seem like all the puzzle pieces of your life are clicking into place. It'll feel… right."

"I hope so."

Zoey grinned. "I know so."

"Aunt Zoey?" Suddenly noticing that the two women had been talking, Gus smiled sheepishly. "Excuse me."

"It's okay sweetie. What's up?"

"I want to take Sheena for a walk but I can't go alone. Dad said that I should see if you or Sam want to take Rebel out too."

"That sounds like fun. Go bundle up and I'll talk to Sam." She turned back to Deanna. "Sorry about that. I'm not sure if we'll get a chance to talk privately again before we leave tomorrow evening but we should get together soon. Maybe for lunch sometime in January? And you can always call if you want some big sisterly conversation."

"That sounds awesome. Thanks Zoey." The two women hugged. Deanna caught her brother glaring at her and stuck het tongue out. Charlie was really going to have to grow up and deal.

'''''''''''''''''''''''

"He's having a blast," Sam observed.

Zoey chuckled, watching Gus run ahead of them on the path, frolicking with the dogs. "It's Christmas. What child doesn't have a blast on Christmas?" After close to a minute had passed and he still hadn't responded, she looked up at him. "Sam?"

"Christmas wasn't a particularly fun time for me when I was a child."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have…"

He squeezed her hand in reassurance. "It's fine Zo." He sighed. "My dad was usually off on what he called business trips and my mom spent most of her time at parties or alone in her room."

"What did you do?"

"The housekeeper always had Christmas Eve and Christmas off but in the week or two before that she would try to make sure I had some fun. She and I would make Christmas cookies and fudge together, listen to lots of holiday music, and make crafts. My parents always had her pick up a few presents for me. I'd open those after I woke up on Christmas morning and then go downstairs and have the rolls she left for me. Dinner was usually in casserole dishes my mom or I just had to stick in the oven."

"Your mom ate with you at least?"

He shook his head. "Until I was old enough to do it for myself, she'd heat the food and make a plate for me before going back to her bedroom. I'd eat in front of the tv while a holiday movie played." He paused and for a moment Zoey thought he was done. "Sometimes I would pretend I was one of the kids in the movie. It wasn't hard to convince myself that mom was in the kitchen and dad had run outside to get one last Christmas surprise ready. For a few minutes at least."

Several minutes passed as they continued to slowly stroll along the path, watching the little boy and the dogs play in the snow. When Zoey was sure Sam didn't intend to say anything more, she spoke softly. "I knew our childhoods were different but I didn't know just how different. I'm sorry for bringing up bad memories for you."

Sam brushed a strand of hair out of Zoey's face. "You have nothing to be sorry for Zoey. You've made this the best Christmas I've ever had. Full of smiles, laughter, fun." He cupped her chin. "And you." He stroked his thumb across her lip. "I love you Zoey Bartlet. More than I have ever loved anyone. More than I thought it was possible for me to love someone." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. "I wanted to give you your Christmas present privately."

Zoey took the box, carefully opening the velvet covered lid. "Oh Sam." She gently caressed the delicate and intricate design.

"It's a Claddagh bracelet. The Claddagh design was first used in Ireland for rings but is now used on other jewelry as well. It is a symbol for love and friendship. There's a rhyme to remember the meaning; the hands are there for friendship, the heart is there for love, for loyalty throughout the years the crown is raised above."

Swallowing hard against the lump building in her throat, Zoey slid the bracelet out of the box. "It is absolutely beautiful Sam. I love it and I love you. Will you put it on for me please?"

Sam took her hand, lifting it to his lips before carefully clasping the bracelet around her wrist. He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, deepening it when Zoey pressed closer to him.

"Ewww! How come I always have to see adults kiss? Gross!"

Running his hands through Zoey's hair, Sam chuckled, smiling down at the little boy. "Give it ten years little man and you won't find kissing so gross."

Gus gave him a doubtful look.

"I promise," Sam said.

The boy shrugged. "Okay. It is getting kind of cold out here. Can we go back inside?"

Sam ruffled Gus's hair. "Sure."

The boy took off in the direction of the house with the dogs on his heels. Sam reached for Zoey's hand and they followed behind at a more sedate pace.

""""""""""""""


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Notes:

Huge thanks to everyone who has stayed with this story! It means a lot to me that people are still reading, reviewing, and following. Even though life has drastically cut into my writing time, I'm still very much enjoying writing this story and exploring this pairing.

By my calculations, the twins would be about 3 ½ in this chapter. They are a bit verbal for that age but as children of Toby and Andy, there is a pretty high likelihood that they would be. Precocious children are also a blast to write. :-)

This is unbetaed.

'''''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey sunk down onto her bed with a sigh. "I have nothing to wear."

Ellie chuckled. "Such a clichéd statement."

"Sorry I didn't take a few seconds to come up with something more original before speaking," Zoey said while rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I'm here to help you. At your request I might add. If you want to do this by yourself I can just go." She started to stand up, chuckling when her sister reached for her arm, feigning a desperate look.

"Please don't go Ellie. I really do appreciate your help."

"You do realize that you could wear a sheet and Sam would think you looked beautiful." At Zoey's blush, Ellie burst out laughing. "That trip out to California must have been something."

Zoey lay back on the bed, letting her eyes fall closed. "It was. I don't know when the last time I was able to really let go and relax that much was."

Ellie arched a brow. "Wasn't packing the main purpose of the trip?"

"Even packing was relaxing. It was… I can't even describe it Ellie. Just being with Sam made me feel… content. We can be cleaning, packing, walking Rebel, or whatever. It doesn't matter. No matter what we're doing, I feel happier and safer than I have felt since before the…" with a swallow she broke off.

Ellie sat quietly watching her sister, wondering how to respond. They had always been close and the kidnapping hadn't really changed that but it had caused Zoey to close a section of herself off. Right after she'd been recovered she had spoken to Ellie but just minimally and apparently not nearly as in-depth as Ellie had thought at the time. After that the kidnapping and aftermath had been a closed topic. As far as Ellie knew Zoey had reacted that way with everyone, until Sam. Now, for the first time in so long, Zoey was bringing the topic up, even if only barely. This was a big step. "I'm glad Zo," she said softly. "I know that Liz and I neither one reacted wonderfully to your relationship with Sam when we first found out about it. I was wrong Zoey. Obviously he wasn't exactly the guy we expected you to choose but that doesn't matter. He makes you feel happy and secure and that is the bottom line. Nothing else matters."

Without opening her eyes, Zoey reached out to grasp her sister's hand. "Thank you."

In response Ellie gave Zoey's hand a squeeze. After a few minutes of silence Ellie squeezed Zoey's hand once more. "If you ever want to talk, you know I'll be here to listen." With a final squeeze of Zoey's hand, Ellie stood, gently dropping it and stepping back.

Zoey finally opened her eyes and met Ellie's gaze. "I know and I appreciate it more than you'll ever know."

Ellie smiled weakly, blinking back tears. "Now, back to the task of the day."

Brushing away her own tears, Zoey sat up.

"As I said before, Sam isn't going to care what you wear."

"I realize that. This isn't about impressing my boyfriend." She grinned. "That would be a nice bonus of course." Her grin faded. "I'm more concerned about Congresswoman Wyatt. I don't know her very well and I know she has to have heard some things."

"Zoey…"

"No," she interrupted. "I know there has been talk. Everyone has tried to shield me from it but when a hush falls over a room, _any _room, when you enter it, you pretty much know people are talking about you. The looks of pity and whispering behind hands are also good indications. At one point I cared but now… not so much. For the most part at least." She stood and walked to her closet, idly flipping through its contents. "Congresswoman Wyatt and Toby are Sam's friends. Even without all this baggage I would have had trouble fitting in. They're older and so much further along in life. With the baggage, I'm afraid it'll be impossible. If I don't fit into his world, what's going to happen Ellie?"

"I can understand your worry Zo but I don't think there is much need for it."

Agitated, Zoey tugged a dress off a hanger and moved toward the mirror to try it on. "Maybe this seems sudden because we've only been together for a little while but I really care about him." She met her sister's eyes. "I love him. There is need for my concern. I can't lose him Ellie. I don't think I'd survive it."

Ellie shook her head. "That isn't what I meant. Of course the idea of losing him should be concerning for you. You love him so not having him in your life is the last thought you want to entertain. What I meant was, I don't think there is any possibility you're going to lose Sam. I've watched Sam watch you. He loves you as much as you love him, maybe more if that's possible. It wouldn't matter if the dinner party went horribly. The whole thing could be your fault and he'd take your side. If by some unlikely chance you are never able to get along with any of Sam's friends, he'll find a way to make it work."

"You think so?"

She stepped up behind Zoey to zip the back of the dress. "I know so. But Zo, that isn't going to happen. This dinner is with Toby and Andy. You've met them countless times in the past – have spent much time with both of them. You are using fancy titles and creating frightening scenarios in your mind. Simplify things a little and allow yourself to relax. This isn't a dinner party; it is two couples who are friends having dinner together." Her hands on Zoey's shoulders, she gently turned her sister around. "Gorgeous," she said with a grin. "In the future we'll know that all we have to do is stress you out and you can pick the perfect outfit."

"I'd rather have the perfect dress without the stress, thanks."

Ellie shrugged, still smiling. "Okay. We can do it your way." She turned toward Zoey's dresser, opening the jewelry box sitting on top. "A few simple pieces, a little makeup, a hot hairdo and you'll kill Sam." She met Zoey's eyes in the mirror. "You're going to have an amazing night."

Zoey nodded. "I really do appreciate all your help Ellie.

"That is what you have a big sister for."

"Actually, I have two."

Ellie shot her a mock scowl. "I'm the best and you know it."

Zoey chuckled and soon Ellie was laughing too.

'''''''''''''

"You've got to be kidding me. I asked you to handle one thing. Just one thing Toby."

He glanced between the children. "I would have counted the twins as two things." At her glare, he took a small step backwards.

"I look pretty mommy," Molly said, twirling around.

"You always look beautiful," Toby affirmed. "You look just like mommy."

"Not enough to get you out of trouble on this one," she said but a smile was starting to form. Andy turned her attention toward her daughter. "I asked you to go have daddy help you get ready."

"Daddy was helping Huck so I got ready by myself."

Andy had to swallow a chuckle her daughter's extremely proud tone. Of the two children Molly was the more independent by far. She was also bold, outgoing, and adventurous while her brother was quiet and loved to sit back and absorb everything going on around him. He was detail orientated and didn't like accepting anything being less than perfect. "Daddy and I appreciate you trying to be helpful but you are wearing my makeup and jewelry. Are you allowed to get into mommy's things without permission and help?"

Toby hid his smile at her no-nonsense tone. He'd tried imitating it in the past but his results were never as good as hers were. She was calm and yet stern. His ex-wife also had a knack for understatement; Molly was not wearing makeup, her face and neck were caked in it and some had managed to get into her hair and all over her clothing. Saying that the child looked like a clown would be an understatement.

"No mommy."

"If I were to go into my bedroom and bathroom right now, what would I find?"

Molly looked down at the ground for several seconds before looking up at her mother. "A mess."

Andy glanced at the clock. Sam and Zoey would be arriving in twenty minutes. "What do you think you need to do about that?"

"Clean it up."

"And clean yourself up as well. Go get started." As the little girl started up the stairs, Andy looked at Toby. "Make sure she doesn't make more of a mess and manages to get herself appropriately please. We really don't have time for this right now."

Toby sighed. "I'll take care of it."

With a nod, Andy took her son's hand. "Good. Huck and I will go check on dinner."

'''''''''''''''''

Sam parked the car and turned toward Zoey, who was fiddling nervously with the strap of her purse. "Zo?" When she didn't respond, he leaned closer, unfastening her seatbelt with one hand while gently unclasping her hands from her purse with his other hand. "Zoey?" His voice was slightly louder this time but his tone was still gentle.

Swallowing, Zoey turned to meet Sam's gaze.

Caressing the palm of her hand with his thumb, Sam held Zoey's gaze. "Are you alright? You were very quiet on the way here."

"I'm fine, just a little nervous." Make that a lot nervous, she added silently.

"It isn't too late to change your mind sweetheart. If you aren't ready to do this, I can call Toby and we can reschedule. Maybe meet Toby and Andy at a restaurant later this week instead of having dinner here?"

Zoey shot Sam a watery smile. "I'd love to agree to that suggestion. You have no idea just how much I'd like to be able to." She swallowed hard. "That would be the easy way out though. I've been taking the easy way out for the past few years. I can't live the life I want, the life we want together, while constantly choosing to take the path of least resistance. I'm letting _them _control me and I hate that."

As she spoke, Sam watched her, trying to decide if she was ready. She was right; backing down from doing something because it was going to be difficult emotionally was allowing her kidnappers to continue to control her. If she was as determined to move past what had happened to her as she seemed to be, she was going to have some very rough experiences ahead. Even as he knew that all of that pain was going to be worth it long-term, he wanted to spare her. Zoey had already had to experience more than enough pain during her life. Just the idea that over the coming months he was going to be part of causing her more pain was nausea inducing. He wanted to throw their essentials into a couple of bags, fasten Rebel to the backseat, and take Zoey back to California where they could stay ensconced in his beach house safe from the world. Yet, that wouldn't be best for Zoey. Facing her demons was necessary and as much as he wanted to protect her, she really was ready. Squeezing her hand, Sam leaned in to gently kiss Zoey's lips. "I am so proud of you Zo." After pressing a kiss to her cheek he released her hand and slid out of the car to walk around to open her car door. Her agents had already cleared the house and were waiting patiently by the front door along with Toby and Molly.

"Is everything okay?" Andy whispered to Toby, coming to join him on the porch with Huck by her side. "They arrived ten minutes ago. I know it takes a little time to clear the house but…"

"Zoey's agents finished clearing the house a few minutes ago," Toby confirmed. "She seemed to be having a little anxiety. I think she and Sam worked through it," he explained, nodding toward the car, where Sam was now opening Zoey's door and helping her out.

"Should we put the kids upstairs with a movie? I know that Sam said she was looking forward to seeing them but perhaps it is too soon? We could always try again in a few weeks."

Glancing toward the couple walking up the sidewalk, Toby shook his head. "Let's wait. Huck and Molly have already had their dinner and will be going to bed shortly anyway. If we need to we can put them to bed a little early, but hopefully that won't be necessary."

After responding to her husband with a nod of agreement, Andy turned toward their guests, who were just reaching the porch. She grinned. "Sam, Zoey it is so good to see you. How were your holidays?"

Sam returned her grin before accepting her hug. "Amazing. The Bartlett farm is always beautiful but during the Christmas season it is a sight to behold."

"Yes, it is," Toby agreed as he shook his friend's hand, thinking back to a Christmas holiday he had spent in New Hampshire with the Bartlett family. " Hello Zoey", he said, looking at the young woman who seemed to be trying to fade into invisibility at Sam's side.

Zoey smiled. "Hi Toby, Andy. Thank you for inviting us over."

Andy's grin broadened. "Thank you for accepting the invitation. Not every Congresswoman has the pleasure of counting a member of the First Family as a personal friend." She gently pulled her shy son, who was trying to slip behind her legs, forward. "Zoey and Sam, this is Huck. Huck, can you say hi to Mr. Sam and Ms. Zoey?"

Huck gave a tiny smile as he looked up at the two adults his mom had introduced him to, before his gaze skittered curiously to the men surrounding them. "Hi."

"I'm Molly," the little girl announced, wiggling until her father set her down.

Andy chuckled. "I was just about to introduce you Mol."

Molly grinned as she took a few steps closer to Zoey and Sam. "Your dress is pretty."

Unable to stop herself, Zoey sunk down to Molly's level. "Thank you sweetheart. Your dress is very pretty too. Is pink your favorite color?"

Molly nodded. "What's your favorite color Zoey?"

"Hmm. That is a really difficult question. All of the colors are pretty."

"You've gots to have a favorite," Molly insisted.

Sam arched a brow at Toby when he heard the little one's small mistake but the older man simply smiled and shrugged. Parenthood had apparently mellowed him.

Zoey smiled apologetically. "I'm not sure that I do have a favorite color. When I was about your age I really liked purple. My mommy even had my bedroom painted a really soft purple."

Molly shook her head. "You've gots to." Suddenly, she grinned determinedly. "I have books about colors. I'll help you get a favorite color." She held out her hand.

Standing up, Zoey accepted the little girl's hand, feeling all of her insecurities and fears about the evening melt away as her hand closed over the much smaller one. Despite her name and the horror surrounding the night of her birth, Molly was completely innocent and full of spirit and generosity. She swallowed around the lump in her throat, "Thank you Molly. I'd appreciate the help." She followed willingly as Molly dragged her into the house and toward a child's height bookshelf in the family room.

Recovering from her surprise, Andy stepped into the house, gesturing for the others to follow her.

Sam stood in the doorway to the family room. "Thank God," he whispered.

"It did go remarkably well," Toby said.

"Much better than I expected it to." He met his friend's gaze. "I almost called the whole evening off multiple times."

"So did Andy," Toby admitted. "She was worried about causing Zoey undo stress and bringing back horrible memories."

Sam sighed. "I had those same fears and so did Zoey. This had to happen though, for her healing to continue." He paused, wondering if he should continue or not. He knew he could trust Toby implicitly; he'd always been able to. And of all of their friends, Toby and Andy had been the most supportive of their relationship. "Zoey has been seeing a counselor recently."

Toby blinked in surprise. He knew that Zoey had seen a therapist after her recovery and that the young woman had insisted on discontinuing attendance, telling her parents and anyone else who would listen that she was fine and didn't need the help of a 'shrink'. "Is it going well?"

"According to her counselor, it is going as well as can be expected. She says that the process is going to take time. She was very supportive of the idea of Zoey meeting the twins."

"You have spoken with Zoey's therapist?" Toby asked quietly. He glanced around, making sure that Zoey and Molly were still occupied looking through books and Andy and Huck were still in the kitchen, where they had gone as soon as everyone was back inside. Zoey's secret service detail wasn't paying any attention to the conversation and even if they were to overhear part of it, confidentiality and impartiality were in their job description.

"Yes. I've accompanied Zoey to each session."

"Are you certain that is wise?" Toby asked cautiously.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

Toby sighed. "Sam, I realize that you care a great deal about Zoey. She has been your friend for a very long time. You…" he paused for a moment before going on, "we all want what is best for her. You didn't see her during the first days and months afterward." He met Sam's eyes. "She was a mess. I realize that she still hasn't come anywhere near close to a full recovery but during those first weeks she was worse. Much worse," he stressed.

"I'm aware of all of that Toby," Sam said, still not sure what his friend was getting at.

"She has been at a very static point in her recovery for years now Sam. Suddenly she is moving forward at a very rapid pace, with you by her side offering her encouragement. Therapy is generally a very private thing and yet you are attending with her. Are you certain that is wise?" he reiterated.

"Again, why wouldn't it be?"

Sam's voice was soft. Deceptively soft, Toby knew. He had known the younger man long enough, been close friends with him long enough, to recognize the signs that Sam's angry was rapidly mounting. Yet, he wouldn't be Sam's friend if he didn't prod just a bit more. Somebody had to be sure that Sam was thinking this through and he was reasonably sure that most of Sam's other close friends were either keeping their distance from Sam and Zoey for the time being or were studiously avoiding uncomfortable topics.

"You said that I 'care a great deal' about Zoey," Sam went on. "I don't just 'care a great deal'. I love Zoey. I am in love with Zoey. There is nothing, absolutely nothing Toby, that I wouldn't do for Zoey Bartlett. That includes supporting her through her recovery in any way that I can. Counseling is not something that Zoey wanted to try. It still isn't something that she is enjoying participating in. If my going with her helps, I'm more than willing to go. Just the knowledge that I am in the waiting room the entire time and will come immediately if she calls for me seems to make the experience more tolerable."

"You wait in the waiting room?"

"Yes. I stayed with Zoey during her first session. It was focused toward Zoey and her therapist getting to know one another. Since then I have waited in the waiting room during each of Zoey's sessions. The therapist calls for me at the end of the session. Zoey and her therapist both feel that eventually I should participate in the sessions with Zoey but she isn't to that point yet."

"You are fully committed to this process and to Zoey."

"I am," Sam agreed. "I thought you were one of the few people who supported us."

"Sam, I am one of the people who supports you. I have always been and will always be. You need to understand that your relationship took all of us by surprise. Considering your past… exploits with women and the trauma that Zoey experienced I, and I would assume most of the people either of you know well, had to be sure you are serious about this relationship."

"I am."

Toby awkwardly clapped Sam on the shoulder. "You and Zoey have my full support."

"Daddy!"

Toby and Sam both spun toward the family room where Molly was gesturing wildly for her father's attention. Zoey sat beside her on the floor grinning.

"Yes Peanut?"

"I'm reading to Zoey. I'm smart," she said proudly. "I wanna read to you too." She pointed to the sofa and she pulled a couple of books from the bookshelf. "Daddy sit?" She looked at Sam. "You sit too?"

Sam held back his chuckled as he and Toby took the indicated seats on the sofa. Zoey joined them, nestling into Sam's side while Molly climbed onto her father's lap. She opened the first book and began 'reading' creating her own story to match the pictures on the pages.

A few minutes later Andy stepped into the room, grinning at the sight before her as Molly entertained all three adults. Toby was a proud daddy enjoying his friends' reactions to his child. Sam seemed to be quite amused by the little girl's antics as she adlibbed a story. And Zoey… the younger woman was completely relaxed and content, Andy realized. Both states seemed to be rare for Zoey. Much too rare. Deciding that both bed and dinner times could wait a few more minutes, Andy stood quietly in the doorway allowing the four people sitting on the sofa to continue their story time.

Finally, Molly caught sight of her mother. "Mommy!" She called out.

"Hi sweetheart."

"I told Zoey a story."

"Yes, I heard you. It was a very nice story."

Molly grinned. "I know. I tell good stories."

Toby smiled wryly. "Humble she is not."

"Are any preschoolers?" Andy asked with a chuckled.

"My nephew Gus definitely wasn't."

Sam smiled. "When your grandfather is the leader of free world, I doubt that anyone expects you to be humble."

"This little one doesn't have that excuse," Andy said, striding quickly across the room and scooping Molly up into her arms.

Molly giggled in surprise as her mother tickled her belly.

"Now, I think it is time for you to say goodnight so that I can tuck you into bed." She ignored Molly's slight pout and turned her attention toward Sam and Zoey. "I already took Huck upstairs," she said apologetically. "He was practically falling asleep standing up."

Zoey smiled softly at the image.

"Goodnight Molly," Sam said.

"Good night honey. It was very nice meeting you. Thank you for reading us such a good story."

Molly grinned at them both. "Night night. See you again soon!" She wiggled until her mom set her down and then she catapulted herself into her father's arms. "Goodnight daddy. I love you."

"I love you too princess. Sleep well." He gently kissed her forehead and smiled as she practically skipped from the room, Andy following closely behind after letting the others know that she'd be back downstairs soon.

"Fatherhood agrees with you Toby," Sam observed.

"Yes, it does," Toby agreed. He observed his friend contemplatively. Sam had enjoyed his and Zoey's visit with Molly immensely. The younger man has seemed to especially enjoy watching Zoey interact with the child.

In the past, his friend had never had much interest in children. During Bartlett's first campaign, Liz had joined them on the campaign trail often, Annie and Gus in tow much of the time. Some of the staffers had appeared to enjoy the presence of the children and had fussed with them often. Sam and Josh had preferred teenage Zoey's company. Josh had actively avoided the younger children and while Sam hadn't purposefully avoided them, he hadn't sought them out either. After they had taken office, there were many occasions when an employee or visitor would bring a child to the West Wing for a brief visit. President Bartlett spent a few minutes with the child if at all possible. CJ would invite the child to see her pet fish and the assistants would freely hand out candy and other treats. Sam never showed much interest in the pintsized visitors. When the twins were born, Sam had sent a card and a premade gift basket of children's books rather than a personally selected gift as many of their friends had.

While Sam had been living in California, the two men had kept in touch. They had emailed regularly and had spoken on the phone once or twice a month. Toby was aware that Sam had become quite close with his newfound sister as well as with her children. It was possible that Sam's relationship with his nieces had prompted his interest in children. It was also possible that Molly's status as the child of a close friend encouraged Sam to pay more attention to her than he had to children he had been exposed to in the past. Still, Toby couldn't help but wonder if the difference was Zoey. The young woman had always enjoyed children. Her close relationship with her niece and nephew had been obvious during the campaign as well as the President's time in office. Zoey had also gone out of her way to greet children at events and to interact with any staff members or volunteer's children who visited.

Over the course of their friendship, Toby had watched Sam stumble in and out of relationships of various durations with numerous women. None had been serious and most had ended amiably. Sam had a rare talent for being able to keep a relationship from going farther than he wished for it to, breaking it off, and yet not pissing the woman off. Earlier, Sam had indicated that his relationship with Zoey was serious. Now, watching Sam and Zoey talk quietly as they all waited for Andy to return, Toby wondered if this relationship was much more serious than any of them believed. He knew that most didn't expect the relationship to last more than a year, if that long. CJ had informed him that there was actually a betting pool, which the staff was taking great pains to keep the President from discovering. Wouldn't they all be surprised if Sam and Zoey proved them all wrong? If the President's emotionally fragile and traumatized young daughter was the perfect match for the playboy novelist?

'''''''''''''''''''''

Author's Note:

Wow. This chapter ended up having much more of Toby than I had planned. He kind of slipped in and took over. :-) I've never written Toby to this extent. Hopefully I did okay with characterizing him.


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